Favorite Tweets November 2010

There are some funny people on Twitter. Whenever I find a funny, witty, or thought provoking I usually retweet it and favorite it. Here is a small collection of recent tweets that stoop out to me.


  • @DamnItsTrue: Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns -> most womens probIems begin with men. #DamnItsTrue
  • @carlmaxim: Sarah Palin says Julian Assange should be hunted down like Osama bin Laden. So he should be safe for at least a decade. #WikiLeaks
  • @rachelsklar: Chasing straight vodka with pickles. You know it.
  • @ericgonzalez: OH: “I can’t get AT&T reception at AT&T park” #lolz
  • @swedal: Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?
  • @lolprez: #rally4sanity is a rally without a cause.
  • @LyrIcSmasHER: In math but I feel like I’m in spanish
  • @Krissy90220: Makeup is one hell of a drug
  • @michaelnichols: Words of encouragement from my coworker: “Be Positive! Shit Rainbows!”
  • @summertomato: OH: “I didn’t really cook all this, but I did cut the cheese.”
  • @tnylgn: Eating Halloween candy and ignoring the doorbell. A little game I like to call fuck you I paid for it.
  • @wafflesgirls: i only illegally download music for my stolen ipod


  • @TheFragileKate: Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful :)
  • @Pres_Bartlet: Meg Whitman’s personal spending on her campaign: $163 million. National Endowment for the Arts 2010 budget: $161.4 million.
  • @ShesMorgan: We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
  • @God_Damn_Batman: So Harry Potter’s parents were murdered before his eyes, now he wears a black cloak and fights evil? EXPECT A CALL FROM MY LAWYERS ROWLING!!
  • @maxklein: The easiest way to rob a bank is to have one
  • @LyrIcSmasHER: Hope is a distant memory
  • @SarahBlakeInc: Will I take Amazon Gift Cards as payment? Sure, when the light company does
  • @EssyDoesIt: Rule #1 … im #1 .


  • @sacca: Just saw a TSA agent check whether a laser pointer was working by shooting it directly into her eye. Should I admire her dedication?
  • @mistersterling: I’m considering shoving McDonald’s Happy Meal toys in my pants when I get to the airport. Hilarious consequences for sure.
  • @TSAagent: This #SecurityTheatre is starting to feel less like a theatre and more like a strip club. #TSA #TSAagent #BadTouch


  • @the_tech_bubble: Hey Groupon, $6 billion isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? Actually, $6 billion is pretty cool.
  • @davepell: Groupon seems to be the one company in their universe NOT willing to take a discount.
  • @avalanche123: “Java is a DSL for taking large XML files and converting them to stack traces”
  • @KieranO: What did all the Social Media Experts do for a living before social media?
  • @yurechko: “@arrington is the Glenn Beck of technology”
  • @tonystubblebine: A good tech conference always makes me want to leave early and write code. Having trouble sitting still at #w2s
  • @mktgdouchebag: I wonder how the person who first said “That’s for me to know and you to find out” is adjusting to Facebook.

Retweet October 2010

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in October 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Got Government?

  • After two years into his administration, why do I feel like President Obama pulled a Nigerian scam on the American people!
  • Words that have lost their meaning in 2010: transparency, open, hope
  • Are you down with the GOP? Yeah, you know me!
  • War on Terror really means war x terror, resulting in more of both not less of each.
  • Playboy should do a an issue where all the pictures are taken from the naked body scanners used by the TSA at airport security checkpoints.
  • What the TSA considers optional procedures are another name for beta testing and they are testing on the public!
  • To opt-out is a constitutional right!
  • Aside from the Bible, the most often misinterpreted and misunderstood document is the constitution!
  • China is one giant fiefdom of corporate sweatshops.
  • The next world war will be over the moon’s resources!


  • Ron Paul and The Rent Is Too Damn High Party Guy for president 2012!!!
  • There are four kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics, and campaign promises!If Hitler were alive today, he would be the president of the RIAA.
  • As a business woman, if Meg Whitman has spent $140 million of her own cash for her campaign, what does she expect as a ROI on that?
  • It is calculated that Meg Whitman has spent $140 million of her own money on her campaign. Talk about trying to buy an election.
  • #rally4sanity is a rally without a cause.
  • Democracy, based on a true story.
  • The Oscars should have a new award category, Best Political Campaign Smear Ad!


  • Liquidity is king.
  • What industry can we outsource next? Agriculture?
  • All blue color jobs will be outsourced to robots.
  • American pride is well ahead of the American economy.
  • How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could outsource wood chucking?
  • What a folly to believe you are saving money by buying something on sale, especially if you can do without it!
  • Capitalism is driven in large part by selling to people that don’t have the money things that they do not need.


  • When talking about Pakistan, the news often speaks of the “tribal area.”. Where is the tribal area of the US? Washington, DC!
  • The political correctness police is just as bad as the secret police in making examples of those that honestly speak their mind.
  • We all remembered the Alamo, but the reason why we should remember the Alamo we did not remember.
  • Another word for Cap and Trade is carbon emission fiefdom.
  • Another word for Cap and Trade is rations.
  • Education requires student participation.
  • The news has a statistical error rate of 30%!
  • Freedom begets freedom.


  • If the universe was a painting would it be more like a Michelangelo, Picasso, or Banksy?
  • Is there such a thing as too much data?
  • Where in the world is sesame street located at?
  • If a zombie eats a green 1-up mushroom does it come back to life?
  • What is the current temperature of the universe?
  • What is up with teams named after years, the 49ers, the 76ers?
  • If your name is it, what is the word used to describe something as belonging to you? Is it, it’s or its?


  • I meme therefore I am.
  • Grammatical rules are meant to be broken!
  • The future is an origami folded onto a fractal.
  • In the end, gravity always win!
  • Pumpkin is a great flavor, I should patent it.
  • Don’t let you conscious mind cock block your subconscious mind.
  • Some people are sex machines others sex robots.
  • I tweet therefore I am.
  • Stress is a gateway emotion!
  • Chocolate rain is a great example of a purple cow.
  • What is up with teams named after years, the 49ers, the 76ers? I wanna start a new team, the 10Kers BC!
  • 3D TV is to real 3D what reality TV is to regular reality.
  • Give me a S. Give me a I. Give me a C. Give me a tissue. What does that spell? I’m sickie…
  • Man, I have a bad case of funk shui!
  • There no vacation for a parent!
  • Dim Sum is the Chinese version of Spanish Tapas.
  • Love hurts deeply!
  • Love is the other four letter word.
  • Love means never having to say your sorry but always admitting its you fault, “It’s my fault honey, I’ll fix that.”
  • It’s a thin line between love and hate, and the more passionately someone hates someone else the more that line bleeds into love.


  • OH: Are you going to tweet that?
  • OH: What we have now is only like 0.1 of what we need, but it’s like 10 times better than what we had before.
  • OH: I’m not paying the heating bill for ghosts.
  • OH: that’s what happens when a post is auto-generated from a Twitter account with tweets entered on an iPhone by someone with fat fingers.
  • OH: I’m tough on you because I need you to be tough!
  • OH: You should be a computer security researcher since you seem to be the first to contract every computer virus known to man.
  • OH: There’s always been pros and cons left and right day and night then and now, always.
  • OH: Your logic doesn’t follow, so neither do I.
  • OH: This tastes like space Chinese food.
  • OH: Don’t you worry about it. When you start worrying about me that’s when I get worried.
  • OH: Oh, no, Obama is the President of the United States, he would never lie to the people, why would you think that?


  • McDs should have a truth in advertising campaign and name their products to better descriptive names like McFatty, McGrub, and McTasteless.
  • If you farm generic genetically engineered fish twice the size and in half the time then you’ll get none of the flavor.
  • Monsanto should make a cooking book, Genetically Modified Foods for the Soul
  • In addition to fish, meat, diary, and vegetables there is a new food group, bioengineered.


  • Happy Halloween! Trick or tweet!!!
  • If grown people come to trick or treat and they don’t have a costume they are getting veggie stix!
  • People getting rid of Easter candy on Halloween: http://twitpic.com/32u2ca
  • Why are people giving out Easter candy on Halloween.
  • Who you gonna call? Watching Ghostbusters!
  • Watching The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror marathon!