Favorite Tweets November 2010

There are some funny people on Twitter. Whenever I find a funny, witty, or thought provoking I usually retweet it and favorite it. Here is a small collection of recent tweets that stoop out to me.


  • @DamnItsTrue: Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns -> most womens probIems begin with men. #DamnItsTrue
  • @carlmaxim: Sarah Palin says Julian Assange should be hunted down like Osama bin Laden. So he should be safe for at least a decade. #WikiLeaks
  • @rachelsklar: Chasing straight vodka with pickles. You know it.
  • @ericgonzalez: OH: “I can’t get AT&T reception at AT&T park” #lolz
  • @swedal: Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?
  • @lolprez: #rally4sanity is a rally without a cause.
  • @LyrIcSmasHER: In math but I feel like I’m in spanish
  • @Krissy90220: Makeup is one hell of a drug
  • @michaelnichols: Words of encouragement from my coworker: “Be Positive! Shit Rainbows!”
  • @summertomato: OH: “I didn’t really cook all this, but I did cut the cheese.”
  • @tnylgn: Eating Halloween candy and ignoring the doorbell. A little game I like to call fuck you I paid for it.
  • @wafflesgirls: i only illegally download music for my stolen ipod


  • @TheFragileKate: Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful :)
  • @Pres_Bartlet: Meg Whitman’s personal spending on her campaign: $163 million. National Endowment for the Arts 2010 budget: $161.4 million.
  • @ShesMorgan: We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
  • @God_Damn_Batman: So Harry Potter’s parents were murdered before his eyes, now he wears a black cloak and fights evil? EXPECT A CALL FROM MY LAWYERS ROWLING!!
  • @maxklein: The easiest way to rob a bank is to have one
  • @LyrIcSmasHER: Hope is a distant memory
  • @SarahBlakeInc: Will I take Amazon Gift Cards as payment? Sure, when the light company does
  • @EssyDoesIt: Rule #1 … im #1 .


  • @sacca: Just saw a TSA agent check whether a laser pointer was working by shooting it directly into her eye. Should I admire her dedication?
  • @mistersterling: I’m considering shoving McDonald’s Happy Meal toys in my pants when I get to the airport. Hilarious consequences for sure.
  • @TSAagent: This #SecurityTheatre is starting to feel less like a theatre and more like a strip club. #TSA #TSAagent #BadTouch


  • @the_tech_bubble: Hey Groupon, $6 billion isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? Actually, $6 billion is pretty cool.
  • @davepell: Groupon seems to be the one company in their universe NOT willing to take a discount.
  • @avalanche123: “Java is a DSL for taking large XML files and converting them to stack traces”
  • @KieranO: What did all the Social Media Experts do for a living before social media?
  • @yurechko: “@arrington is the Glenn Beck of technology”
  • @tonystubblebine: A good tech conference always makes me want to leave early and write code. Having trouble sitting still at #w2s
  • @mktgdouchebag: I wonder how the person who first said “That’s for me to know and you to find out” is adjusting to Facebook.

Retweet May 2010

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in May 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Got Gov?

  • Where is the beef, where is the change?
  • Some Laws are biased, others ignorant, many shortsighted, and even a few are immoral.
  • The police wants to record your every step/action except being arrested by the police.
  • BP + Oil Spill + Hurricane Season + New Orleans + FEMA = nothing is going to get done…
  • The government wants to regulate success.
  • More laws lead to less justice.
  • Decades ago we were promised a future that includes jet packs and space travel, now the government wants to shape the future with terrestrial rail.


  • Life already has chosen life, life chooses life.
  • There is 100,000 years of history for immigration!
  • We can’t have a supreme court justice in the closet and in the pocket of Goldman Sachs.
  • I wonder if Elena Kagan has more litigation experience than lesbian experience.
  • It seems like Obama wants the supreme court to adhere the don’t ask don’t tell policy themselves.
  • Britain’s election resulted in a hung parliament, at least that’s what she said, and by she I mean the Queen.
  • Instead of marching and protesting, most are happy bitching.


  • The only thing capitalism values is pure unadulterated profits.
  • No one is above the law, except capitalism. $$$/LAW
  • Memorial Day, a day to remember the men and women that served our country and enjoy the profits earned from the military industrial complex.
  • Crony Capitalism offers the best returns.
  • Credit cards are the best way more than what an item is worth.
  • Sweet dreams are made of debt, who are you to disagree.
  • They should call things for what they truly are, like credit cards are really debt cards. Debt is really what you carry.
  • Did anybody else feel the stock market crash just now? It felt like an earthquake.
  • Pirates that go legit are known as corpirates, I mean corporates.
  • Don’t worry Greek people, if your civilization fails the British Museum will kindly save your property in their museum in England.
  • I’m not sure why everyone is worried, it’s not the first time Greek civilization has collapse.
  • The revolution will not start with a gun shot, but with a market crash.


  • Vaccines are not panaceas.
  • The truth is that Gaza is a concentration camp, an unlabor camp.
  • Any event involving freedom, flotilla, humanitarian, aid, Israeli, commandos can only end with at least 15 dead Palestinians.
  • It seems to me that most Jewish holidays revolve around the liberation or destruction of Jews by Babylonians, Persians, Egyptians, Romans…
  • Watching Sunday morning propaganda shows.
  • God is a lie. Free markets are a lie. History is a lie. Freedom is a lie. The cake is a lie.
  • The one thing the education system wants you to learn is to learn to sit down, listen, and follow directions. #obey
  • Revolutions are about freedom, sometimes.
  • The network news have a secret agenda.
  • If one man’s trash is another’s treasure, then one man’s wasteland is another’s promise land.


  • If people count sheeps to help them fall asleep, what do sheeps count to fall asleep?
  • WTF why is it that taxes and fees are worth more than the actual price of a airfare ticket?
  • Do you read, analogly or digitally?
  • Which is worse, Facebook privacy leak BP oil spill?
  • Is Craig’s List part of the sex trade industrial complex?
  • Is the best time of your life behind you, ahead of you, or right now?


  • Celebrities are fictional characters.
  • A terrible thing is a terrible thing to go to waste.
  • I know nothing and have an opinion on everything.
  • If you are going through hell, do not stop at the rest stop.
  • Two men that can go about their business in pajamas: Hugh Hefner and Dalai Lama
  • Apparently the Buddha was a dead beat dad.
  • I think time is the least understood currency, and the older you are the lower your ROI on existing time.
  • Time is a currency.
  • Not even time is for ever.
  • The universe is estimated to be 15 billion years old, it’s just a teenager, it doesn’t even have it’s provisional driver’s license.
  • What kind of day is it going to be? Checking life forecast… Partial meetings scattered throughout the day… I guess I should wear pants.
  • I’m sure James Cameron has directed a sex tape or two, after watching Avatar my question is, you think James Cameron made a 3D Avatar porn?
  • I can haz some om nom nom nom.
  • Forget who moved my cheese, I want to know who moved the damn remote.
  • Drinking the Kool-Aid doesn’t make you cool!
  • Waiting… Life in slomo.
  • Who is this Jonas Bieber I keep hearing about?!
  • Music moves mountains.
  • A diamond might be a girls best friend but her shoes are her confidant.
  • The valuable asset you can spend on someone is time.
  • I’m such a bad lier that I don’t need to tell the truth.
  • The truth has many sides, many shades, and many dimensions.
  • Live, listen, learn, laugh, love, and lose yourself.
  • Some hide, others slide, many snide, I drive it home like a bat out of hell just frozen over by climate change FTmofoW!!!1!
  • I wish I could take a picture, not of what I see but what I feel.


  • OH: For you to look good you would have to travel back in time.
  • OH: I have a lot more to say than I’ll ever be able to say, so let me say this once.
  • OH: It is like wanted to bake a cake, eat it too, but without having the dough.
  • OH: Yeah, I want that too. I want my stuff to be next to your stuff an not feel stuffy.
  • OH: you must be a space man, cause you always spacing out.


  • The future was here!
  • In the future, you will be charged as a hacker for using lynx to access a website.
  • In the future, you will be considered an accomplice for retweeting.
  • In the future, you will be considered a person of interest for content you like on facebook.
  • In the future, you will be held in charged with treason for voting for against the incumbent.
  • In the flat future, a mechanic will have a more secure job than a lawyer.
  • In the future, all first ladies will automatically be sworn on as the senator of New York.
  • In the future, poetry will not be felt but computed.
  • Imagine a future where if you buy paint it comes with a ToS limiting you what you can paint and whether you can sell it or not and to who…

Favorite Tweets April 2010

There are some funny people on Twitter. Whenever I find a funny, witty, or thought provoking I usually retweet it and favorite it. Here is a small collection of recent tweets that stoop out to me.

  • @nickbilton: Off record chat w/ Facebook employee. Me: How does Zuck feel about privacy? Response: [laughter] He doesn’t believe in it.
  • @stephenkruiser: Pants are important. Sometimes.
  • @crazeegeekchick: So grateful for salary and for direct deposit. AT least one thing is consistent in my life :)
  • @puredanger: wife: "why are these blankets always on the floor!?" me: "gravity?"
  • @godolcevita: You have to be where you are at to get where you are going….
  • @cdixon: It’s getting to the point that when a big company calls something "open" == they are about to screw you. Need a new word for actually open.
  • @ericaogrady: What to know if he’s a Man or a Boy? Make eye contact with him and hold his gaze. If he looks away, he’s still a boy.
  • @Archimage: I would rather throw down than throw up.
  • @nandoism: it smells awesome in Brooklyn. like fresh rain mixed with urine. aaah.
  • @michaelg: Overheard: "Zuck sounds like Lex Luthor" #f8
  • @Archimage: This tweet is (c) 2010 Archimage. All rights reserved. Any retweeting is a violation of applicable laws.
  • @KaciBrownMonroe: Don’t look at me; look into me. To the deepest, most real, places in my heart and soul.
  • @stevenharman: Apple, if you’re going to limit how many computers I can play my content on, please allow me to de-authorize one I no longer have access to.
  • @wilshipley: Why do DJs wear earphones? Isn’t the music loud enough? I can hear it fine from down here.
  • @girlonetrack: I’ve spent the last four hours immersed in non-stop politics: eight times as long I as give foreplay. Which I guess shows my priorities…
  • @joeracer: FUCK YOU IRS. Seriously.
  • @tedneward: Oracle’s sponsoring IronMan 2?!? What next, Microsoft Star Trek 2? "Mr Spock, where do you want to go today?"
  • @thekarladam: 290.2 MB of space for Adobe Reader!? WTF is wrong over at Adobe!?
  • @bkorte: Dear Facebook: Stop using my default notification sound for your push alerts on my iPhone – be original and come up with your own sound.
  • @hotforwords: The Average Woman Dates 24 Men Before Settling Down.
  • @dotjenna: Is it possible to hate someone you love? #love #hate
  • @shanselman: I need an online alias for some programming projects. I wonder if Slim Shady or Sasha Fierce are taken…
  • @MsLizziA: I mean Kick Ass SUCKED ASS!
  • @techknow: Is there such a thing as tofu salmon?
  • @markramsey: how the hell can ticketmaster charge a $10 convenience charge on $25 tickets, I’m buying them online, making it convenient for them!
  • @ebarrera: It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase ‘As pretty as an Airport’ appear.
  • @thediva: Some times women’s clothing annoy me. I wear 3 different sizes depending on the brand. It’s so insane of retailers to play head games
  • @adactio: This is my browser; there are many like it but this one is mine.
  • @ehthayer: My body clock needs an hour change button too
  • @RobotDeathSquad: I think there is a direct relationship between the number of tattoos and bad waitressing.
  • @gkmaestro: Software involves sending more emails that writing code!!!
  • @meph: Why do computer programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas? Because Oct(31) = Dec(25). #geekfun
  • @godolcevita: I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
  • @timacummins: Worry is a brain drain.
  • @NicoleJordan: Instead of asking what is the return on investment, we should be asking what’s the return on objectives? #digiday
  • @swedal: Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Retweet March 2010

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in March 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.


  • After a year in office, it seems that Obama’s idea of green jobs is to have no jobs.
  • Obama pays surprise visit to Afghanistan, yet he hasn’t been to California in a long while.
  • Obama: Change is political term for more of the same, but worse.
  • Obama: Read my lips, no new hope.

Got Gov?

  • I, for one, welcome our new death panel overlords.
  • We have a separation between church and state, I want a separation between sports and state.
  • How did we get from “no taxation without representation” to “taxation without exception.”
  • If they put fluoride in water, nuclear waste under mountains, and pollutants in the air what would they not put in flu vaccines?
  • China is censoring the details behind Google’s decision to move out of China due to China’s censorship.
  • Failing to obey an order from a security guard will be considered as an assault!
  • If your ex is spying on you on Facebook so is your government.
  • In a police state everyone is a suspect if not an inmate.
  • Do we really need a vice president? Why not just get a presidential double?


  • How dare the state and federal government ask for a donation into the California Fund or Presidential Election Campaign Fund?
  • The women’s movement demanded equal pay for equal work. The investment banker’s movement demands equal ROI for unequal risk.
  • The television rights of state executions can bring in millions of revenue to cash strapped states.
  • If cash is king, then debt is bondage and credit is cards are chains.
  • Retire young, rich, and fabulous not old, broke, and ordinary.
  • Hedge funds are modern day alchemy.
  • The American dream is made in communist China.
  • Hollywood Video is renaming itself to Bankruptcy Video.


  • Did dinosaurs also taste like chicken?
  • Is Lady Gaga the new Madonna?
  • When Ke$ha goes broke how will she spell her name?
  • Are you a pusher or a pleaser?
  • What is the cost of easy money?
  • Do we need black boxes in cars?
  • Is China broke?
  • Is NASA controlled by the greys?
  • Is your job holding you back?
  • Is the Prius the new Pinto?
  • Are hotel key cards the new baseball card?
  • Is there such a thing as tofu salmon?
  • Is PHP 6 the new Perl 6?
  • Is a great hack art or science?
  • Which is worse, a hater or a debtor?
  • Is there a sub-atomic unit of time that cannot be divided into smaller time elements?
  • If your body is an instrument, what part of your body needs some fine tuning?
  • What is your body language saying about you?
  • What color are your feelings?
  • Are you a revolutionary or a rebel?
  • Is what you like how you are like?


  • 95% of statistics confuse 82% of the population.
  • Two 50%s don’t add up to one 100%.
  • Headache in the membrane.
  • Time is not digital, it is a fractal.
  • Misfortune Cookie: What you are doing now is probably illegal, in bed.
  • I bet prehistoric animals would have been delicious, like a T-Rex t-bone steak.
  • Uncle Sam: The Puppet Master
  • Hate grows with compound interest.
  • Killing the Buddha in the name of! And now you do what they told you! And now you do what they told you!
  • I would like the my unauthorized autobiography to be named either Same Difference, It Wasn’t Me, or Who Dat Up In Herre?
  • Don’t trust the 800 pound gorilla as far as you can trow it especially if it is riding the elephant in the room.
  • People’s perception of others is often wrong, worse yet is our perception of other people’s perception of us.
  • Create a purple cow, make your competitors into a donkeys, and milk the golden goose out of everything it is worth.
  • Even a tough cookie softens up with a little milk.
  • A flower’s petal is nature version of a solar panel.
  • Math is the sum of all my fears.
  • Ignorance is always refreshening.
  • Engaged should be the new married.
  • Stuck between space and time.
  • Sometimes cheap is better than free.
  • In the future everything will buzz, tweet, or beep.
  • Control freaks usually want to control what they can’t do.
  • People pleasers don’t please themselves.
  • What you don’t know won’t hurt you unless you think the worst if everyone all the time.
  • There is no better time for happiness than now.
  • Allegedly Tiger Woods likes green jackets and golden showers
  • Tiger Woods and Jesse James should be on Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew.


  • OH: Homelessness, such a turnoff.
  • OH: Your high horse is a pink pony, get off it. It makes you look stupid.
  • OH: You are going to choke on my positive energy.
  • OH: Did you cancel your mind?
  • OH: What is the point of caffeine free coke? Do I have to put coffee or crack into my coke?


  • On certain countries in the middle east, women’s equal rights movements means they can also be suicide bombers.
  • I’ve heard of the Tea Party Movement, now the Coffee Party Movement, I’m waiting to start the Beer Party after my buzz goes down.


  • You are not a robot, you are just programmed to think like one.
  • The news are re-enactments.

War Racket

  • There is a cold war between China and Google.
  • To prolong war is to a crime against humanity.
  • The problem with having a large standing army is that someone will eventually want to deploy it.


  • If China doesn’t care about basic human rights, why do companies think it cares about their copyrights?
  • Google deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for leaving China and giving up that market to Microsoft/Yahoo would collaborate with the gestapo.

Tweeting from Space

NASA astronaut Mike Massimino, may have not been the first person in space or on the moon. He was the first person to use the social networking site Twitter from space. One short message for man, one tweet for mankind. His tweet from outer spaces reads as follows.

From orbit: Launch was awesome!! I am feeling great, working hard, & enjoying the magnificent views, the adventure of a lifetime has begun!

As of date, Astronaut Mike Massimino has over 1.3 million followers. NASA’s official verified account lists 19 astronauts on Twitter, including astronaut Jose Hernandez. Astronaut Jose Hernandez was the first person to tweet from space in English and Spanish. As a Mexican-American, Joe Hernandez, tweets in both English and Spanish about his training and experience. Here is his first tweet from space.

Settling in and realizing my dream… Micro G is great. Finished setting up the computers and ready for bed! Don’t need pillow!

A minute later, he tweeted in Spanish.

Espero la cosecha de mi sueno sirva como inspiracion a todos! Acabo de configurar las computadoras. Buenas noches!

Current NASA astro twitterers include TJ Creamer, Soichi Noguichi, and Jeff Williams. Astronaut Soichi Noguichi is a currently in space on the International Space Station and is the most prolific twitterer. Many of his numerous tweets include twitpics from pictures he has taken from space. Seeing his profile page on twitpic is just awe inspiring.

Glacier Lake in Southern Patagonia

Glacier Lake in Southern Patagonia

Southern Alps of New Zealand

Southern Alps of New Zealand

Images by Astro Soichi

Favorite Tweets January 2010

There are some funny people on Twitter. Whenever I find a funny, witty, or thought provoking I usually retweet it and favorite it. Here is a small collection of recent tweets that stoop out to me.

  • @Twiggy185: people often say that motivation doesn’t last. well neither does bathing that’s y we recommend it daily
  • @wafflesgirls: the sun is god’s ninja star
  • @brooksbayne: little people have their own gnomenclature
  • @jeffcannata: I wish I had a way to find out which song has been stuck in my head most times in my lIfe.
  • @peterc: OH: Can vegans eat animal crackers?
  • @jeffreytmoore: too many things tied together – #LinkedIn, #Twitter, #Facebook #FourSquare – social media overload!!!!!
  • @davenavarro6767: Wearing only black means never having to separate your laundry.
  • @gabbycat: Dear laundry, just go do yourself!
  • @lecitykitty: I write emotional algebra.
  • @zeldman: The ends justify the memes.

Text That Get No Reply

Recently the hashtag #textthatgetnoreply was trending on Twitter. Here are a few funny tweets that I saved as favorites from this trend.

  • @Dacrizzy: #textthatgetnoreply Hey Is this Elmo Sanchez?
  • @beckers_dog: #textthatgetnoreply Hey sexy!
  • @capsling: #textthatgetnoreply are you asleep?
  • @AustinatDIMEmag: #textthatgetnoreply I’m stranded out here. Need a ride.
  • @ezb14: #textthatgetnoreply Quick: How many feet in a yard?
  • @minusthejosh16: #textthatgetnoreply Who is this?
  • @mdrwhitener: #textthatgetnoreply From Kennedi: I’m upstairs, can you bring me some water?
  • @LyricalMontster: #textthatgetnoreply “U cheatin on me?”……….ummm yes???
  • @Dacrizzy: #textthatgetnoreply I just finished applying my vagisil. Whats up?
  • @AMENdeezy: #textthatgetnoreply (female voice) I’m on my periooood
  • @prettimzyaya: #textthatgetnoreply “WAKE UP”
  • @BIGxTRE: #textthatgetnoreply Were u still gonna help me move dis weekend??
  • @Piinkkiissess: #textthatgetnoreply Are you Up?
  • @jahhh: #textthatgetnoreply can i borrow some money?
  • @corymorlidge: #textthatgetnoreply “lol” – How do you even respond to that? It kills ANY conversation.
  • @EFF_Boy: #textthatgetnoreply hey i forgot to take the morning after pill. Can we meet for coffee?
  • @trvsdotcom: #textthatgetnoreply So we still cool?
  • @fafinista: who’s home? #textthatgetnoreply

Balloon Boy

The are report of evidence that the whole ordeal that Balloon Boy put the nation through was a hoax orchestrated by Balloon Boy’s reality television obsessed dad. Balloon Boy and other hashtags associated to him where trending all day when this happened. People where glued to Twitter for information about Balloon Boy. Here are some choice tweets gathered from Twitter as it was happening live.

  • @cheninboutwell: dear #balloonboy, you owe me an hour of my life back.
  • @tollehaus: What parent *hasn’t* left their huge helium balloon tethered within reach of their young children? Let’s not get all judgy… #balloonboy
  • @ComputerFriends: Wonder how much the bill will be for ‘hiding in the attic’ #balloonboy
  • @greg_a_elliott: is selling Balloon Boy Brand HIDING BOXES! Get yours today! Perfect for home, tavern or office! WHEREVER YOU SCREW UP BAD! #balloonboy #hype
  • @AaronKlein: #Balloonboy is found in his garage. “Uh…mom and dad are looking for you, man. Oh yeah, and Katie Couric called.”
  • @Tinkbell1422: #balloonboy is the little douchebag that stiffed me at work today lemme catch his ass watch..
  • @thext: has anybody considered looking for #balloonboy inside the house before spending 1/2 million dollars to rescue him from his f’n UFO?
  • @shervin: Balloon boy is ‘grounded’, literally. #balloonboy
  • @jjuunniiee: #balloonboy would be grounded for the rest of his life if he were my kid.
  • @oheredia: i guess #balloonboy was actually #atticboy
  • @budweiserplease: this whole #balloonboy incident is exactly why i’m never having kids. i would always lose them. speaking of, has anyone seen my dog?
  • @princessangela: Yo Balloon Boy, I’m a let you finish, but Anne Frank had the best attic hideout spot of all time. #balloonboy
  • @caitlint: Was #balloonboy sponsored by Redbull?
  • @toddadamson: What’s TMZ saying about #balloonboy?
  • @shmeilia: i dont know whether to be scared for balloon boy or super jealous of him for having a homemade hot air balloon in the 1st place! #balloonboy
  • @BeeJayEmCee: (Lmfaoooo)– Hold on #balloonboy, imma let you finish, but Amelia Earhart had one of the best disappearances in flight OF ALL TIME!!
  • @SpAM_CAN: Wasn’t #balloonboy livestreamed the whole time? Couldn’t they wind the tape back?
  • @csmyers88: WHERE IS #balloonboy in Nevernever land????
  • @dja17: CNN has stopped caring about #balloonboy and has switched to health care lmao == Cause it’s fake
  • @jayilla: this #balloonboy reminds me of the Simpsons episode when bart fell down the well lol. . . .
  • @TheFagCasanova: Pixar have gone all out to promote ‘Up’ haven’t they? #Balloonboy
  • @nydblockny: older brother reported #balloonboy as missing… sounds like he killed him by mistake and then set that shit off.
  • @matthewjoseph: I blame aliens #balloonboy
  • @infidel118i: It’s fucking ironic #balloonboy ‘s name is FALCON, yo. Hope the kid werent in it though.
  • @nAn18: Kids in my day used to buy magic beans to grow a beanstalk to reach the clouds. Fuckin science, keep on flyin #balloonboy

Twitter Tweet Links September 2009

Here are some worthwhile articles regarding Twitter for September 2009.

Retweet September 2009

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in September 2009. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.


  • Why is Facebook down on a quite Friday night! Having network issues is like so last year.
  • Failbook is down. The one day I need to log into it to update my status it is down, my life is ruined, how could they do this to me???
  • I live close to Facebook, I can walk down and turn on the servers if they need me to.
  • If you play Farm Ville to much they will send you to the Funny Farm Ville.
  • Facebook is down and I can’t get to my Farm Ville, quick call FEMA!!!
  • At what level can I buy hemp/weed on Farm Ville.
  • Are you into Farm Ville? I am waiting until Gansta Ville.
  • I can’t wait until a tornado hits Farm Ville.
  • Facebook makes you use your real identity so it is easier for your exe to stalk you.
  • Facebook makes you realize you where once cool, what happened to you?
  • Facebook makes you realize you need new friends!
  • Facebook Makes You wanna punch someone in their Facebook.

Yo Kayne Swift

  • Yo Obama, imma gonna let you finish but Canada had the best health care of all time.
  • Yo Joe Wilson, i’mma gonna let you finish, but the Don’t Taze Me Bro guy is one the best hecklers of all time.
  • Yo H1N1, i’mma gonna let you finish, but the Black Plague is one the best pandemics of all time.
  • Yo Facebook, i’mma gonna let you finish, but the Twitter is one the best status jiggamajigy of all time.
  • Yo All Your Base Are Belong to Us, I’m really happy for you. I’m gonna let you finish, but Kanye West is now the best meme of all time.

Demo Democracy

  • It takes a village to raise a child and a state to keep him down.
  • Though on crime, weak on jobs.
  • Four Horsemen: Big Government, Corporatism, Ecosystem Collapse, Lead & Mercury Poisoning
  • Make love not war, drop beatz not bombs, fight the power not each other!
  • Happy 60th BDay People’s Republic of China, You don’t like a day past 3000 years of civilization! What kind of cake do you like?
  • It is a education seeing the continual failures in education, instead of lead no kids behind you should leave no school district behind.
  • ACORN: We Help You Bust a Nut
  • Hope is the new Obey.


  • Do Da Obama Dance!
  • Prez Obama calls Kayne West a ‘jackass’, Kayne West calls Bill Clinton the best black president.
  • Kayne West is like Jesus, Barack Obama is like Pontius Pilate.
  • Uncle Obama called Kayne West a jackass, but bailout bankers he calls critical to our economic recovery.
  • Osama called Obama a douche, because Obama called Kayne a jackass, because Kayne called Beyonce the greatest.
  • Obama wants to fine/tax folks if they can’t afford/maintain health insurance, what is next, they will fine you if you drink to much coffee?
  • Obama might as well fine/tax fat people!


  • White people don’t riot, they bailout.
  • Who says crime doesn’t pay? Just see the stock growth for private correctional facility operators CXW.
  • Music has sex, drugs, and rock and roll. The finance industry has hookers, blow, and government bailouts.
  • Let bankers be bankers is like saying let children be children.
  • The economic recovery must be in full swing, the market has rallied to near 10k, hedge funds avg up +10%, Google/Flickr/etc are hiring.
  • I guess we are out of the recession if Adobe can afford $1.8 for a company that does not add to their core business.

Random Philosophy

  • We are destined for great things, first thing is to believe it, second thing is to act on it, third is to persevere on it, then patent it!
  • I want fries with that, therefore I am. We are all philosophers, but we don’t all work at McDs.
  • When you hit 42 years of age, the question to the meaning of life new meaning and everything else takes on a new meaning.
  • OH: I have a degree in Fashion Science.
  • The Internet is a zoo and there is one rule: Don’t Feed The Trolls!
  • Know better sooner!
  • Cost != Worth vs. Net Worth != Self Worth
  • Work: The real Never Ending Story!
  • When there is a kid in the house every room is a kid’s room.
  • T Diet – Tacos, Tortas, Tamales, Tostadas, etc.
  • I don’t have what I don’t have but what I gave I got myself.
  • Sometimes art imitates life, sometimes life imitates art, but other times art imitates art but that alone does not make it art.
  • True love loves you long time.
  • Nothing is the end of the world, not even the apocalypse.
  • What is common about common sense is the lack of it.
  • It is possible to be better.
  • In front of every slow poke driving grandma, there is a Prius driver holding up traffic.
  • If you think you are wise you are a dummy in disguise.


  • Graffiti artists are like dogs: they mark their territory. – Muro
  • If there is any doubt, there is no doubt. – Jason Calacanis
  • You are your people. – Jason Calacanis
  • Starting is easy, finishing is hard. – Jason Calacanis
  • Failure is the precursor to success – Jason Calacanis
  • Great entrepreneur gets a dollar out of a nickel, a donkey entrepreneur get a nickel out of a dollar. – Jason Calacanis
  • We are not the center of everything that happens to us. – Alain De Botton
  • California is on the verge of becoming the first failed state in America. – Kenneth Starr
  • At the end of the day, finance is all about faith. Money does not exist unless you believe in it. – Gillian Tett
  • It’s important to realize that I was actually black before the election. – Prez Obama
  • The only training the TSA gets is how to yell at you. – Adam Curry


  • Your local news will not report it if it doesn’t come from a multinational conglomerate news wire or Bloomberg dashboard.
  • Network news run on the disinformation channel, the truth is that network news anchor don’t even know the news.
  • The media is not the puppet master, it is the puppet strings.