The Puppyfication of America

I recently adopted a new puppy, a toy poodle which I have named Rufus. Rufus is the most adorable puppy, playful, warmhearted, and already my best friend. Even though I am in love with my puppy I’ve realized that he is really derpy and possibly not the smartest puppy in the pound. Looking at my toy poodle it is hard to imagine that he is a descendant of the gray wolf. Dogs were domesticated from wolves some 15,000 years ago. Wild wolves are great hunters, intelligent beasts, designed my nature to survived in the toughest environments. My puppy wouldn’t last a week without his kibble ‘n bits. But it’s not my puppy’s fault, the whole process of domestication makes animals dumber than their wild counterparts. Domestication de-evolves animals in an unnatural selective way into cute puppies, tasty beef, and dumb Americans.

The process of puppyfication, or domestication, does not only occur on animals whose traits we select and breed for, it is also affecting the American populace. American sensibilities and ideals are themselves changing by external factors such as our current education system and political correctness which is making Americans dumber. The United States was founded on the ideals of personal freedoms and liberties but now you can’t go visit grandma in Idaho without having your balls manhandled or your butt crack scanned using radiation. After the Civil War, the United States was by and large a pacifist nation and since World War II we haven’t seen a decade without being involved in a military conflict. During the Cold War, we were told that the communists are evil because they spy on their neighbors and now the Department of Homeland Security uses that same tactic in their “If you see something, say something” program. For generations, the American Dream was that if you work hard enough you can achieve anything, now it seems that the American Dream has been deferred to possibly sending your kids to college and put a little away for retirement.

I don’t have a time machine, but I can guarantee you that if we could travel back in time and talk to the founding fathers and describe to them what American has become that they would have surrendered their fight for independence because American independence is fast becoming a myth. George Washington would never have approved a Department of Homeland Security or Transportation Security Agency. Thomas Jefferson would not have condoned the Patriot Act or the Nation Defense Authorization Act. Abraham Lincoln would not have kept America at war and the Guantanamo Bay Detention Camp opened for this long. The whole of the American Civil War lasted for four years, we’ve been in the current War on Terror for over ten years, and War of Drugs for over twenty-five years. We have active and covert military campaigns and war theaters across the Muslim world including Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia, Pakistan, Iran, Syria, and others. Teddy Roosevelt would not install surveillance equipment in secret rooms in telecommunication companies, place GPS tracking devices in peoples cars, grant millions of wiretapping requests, and sweep civil liberties under the rug. Dwight Eisenhower would not have made a complicit deal with the military-industrial-financial complex and bail out banks instead of people, and police the population with military-grade drones.

The American public is trading in personal liberties for what the government says is public security. As this change is in process, the American people don’t seem to care. In fact, it seems that we the people care more about American Idol than presidential elections.

I don’t know when the puppyfication, or the homeland domestication, of the American people began. I can also see the difference between the American frontiers people that at great odds and personal danger fought tyranny and settled this country and modern American that settles to have his butt crack radiated when visiting grandma. Just like my toy poodle is breed to be cute and adorable may not resemble it’s wolves ancestors, so do modern Americans grilling in the backyard with drones flying overhead do not resemble the revolutionary heroes that founded this nation.

Retweet September 2011

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in September 2011 such as the ongoing Occupy Wall Street, and the continuing revolutions in the Middle East. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Occupy Everything

  • You are either a soldier or you have been sold out? #occcupywallstreet
  • Protests in the streets and bipartisanship in government.
  • Power to the 99%!
  • I guess #OccupyWallStreet protesters are terrorists because the NYPD Counter Terrorism unit is in full force.
  • #OccupyInternationalSpaceStation and #OccupyMoonBaseLunaOne
  • #OccupyWorldWideWide
  • #OccupyAllTheThings
  • Anthony Bologna is the Hosni Mubarak of #OccupyWallStreet.
  • Democracy is not a spectator sport. #OccupyWallStreet
  • There will be blood. #FalseFlag #OccupyWallStreet
  • NYPD want to rename #OccupyWallStreet to #OccupyJailCell
  • Wall Street causes economic depression, government bails them out. People go to jail for protesting government bail out but have to bail themselves out.
  • Police, protecting and serving the shit out of you! #OccupyWallStreet
  • I’m a human being not a commodity. #OccupyWallStreet
  • Due to recent budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. #OccupyWallStreet
  • I can’t afford a lobbyist. #OccupyWallStreet
  • Tear Down This Wall St. #OccupyWallStreet
  • Shoot sperm not bullets. #OccupyWallStreet

Got Gov?

  • I thought the FBI has better things than to help celebrities with their naked pictures.
  • If you elect any monkey to the presidency, democrat or republican, nothing would have change either way?
  • The federal government is not America!
  • Drone Nation Under God
  • Video and audio recording is just the tip of the iceberg of what police are monitoring, screening, and scanning for in public places.
  • New reality, the US kills its own citizens with or without due process (Anwar al-Awlaki), with or without evidence (Troy Davis).
  • DOJ paid $16 for a muffin, I wonder how much they pay for a hooker.
  • Government spending: $16 muffins, $8 coffee, $435 claw hammers, $640 toilet seat, $7k coffee makers, $8 million drupal websites…
  • TSA Choice: Molestation or Radiation


  • None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. – Goethe
  • We still have racism, God knows, but it so different now, it’s so much better. – Al Gore


  • Being president has been the best financial decision made by Bobama. #TheOnePercent
  • Shake it up, stop complaining, stop grumbling, stop crying, stop stealing, stop smacking, stop crackalacking, stop pimping. – President Obama


  • Convenience fees aren’t so convenient.
  • Greece had it better when it was under the boot of the Ottoman Empire than now that it is under the thumb of the EU.
  • Solyndra is the green energy Enron.


  • Freedom of choice is no freedom is there is no choice.
  • This seems accurate and specific, msnbc is reporting “Satellite expected to re-enter over Canada or Africa by Saturday or Sunday”
  • The news media: if it’s not on a teleprompter or press release they don’t know what to make of real news.
  • The news is another word for PR.
  • The network news are as bad about forecasting terror attacks as they are about hurricanes.


  • If light travels faster than the speed of light does it time travel?
  • Which is worse, a rebel without a cause or a youth without a rebellion?
  • So you think the FBI uses FaceBook’s public developer APIs or internal undocumented APIs?


  • Love is indivisible and innumerable.
  • Swag life.
  • I’m watching What Would You Do? I would tweet about it.
  • We are the future unless you are living in the past.
  • Nothing is a surprise when you are a time traveling psychic.
  • My favorite section at the super market is the Mexican aisle, where else would you find “snack style pickled pork skins.”
  • In an alternative universe, Michael Bay is a demolition engineer.
  • Life is an adventure, pack accordingly.
  • Jay-Z should sample Safety Dance.
  • Tired. Sleepy. Hungry.
  • Watching Irene and The City. This shit storm is boring.
  • Power to the tweeple.
  • The future is cyclical and maniacal.
  • Time is telescoping.
  • And then God said, “Let there be electromagnetic radiation” and there was wave-particle photons.
  • There is no such thing as freedom of speech if you don’t speak up.
  • I make protest signs using baseball bats, nails, and cardboard paper.
  • Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chowder

In Da Future

  • In the future, someone will be convicted based on their shadow.
  • In the future, the police will run you over with their scooter then arrest you for assaulting a police officer and damaging police property.
  • In the future, not using your real name in G+ or Facebook would be considered identity theft.
  • In the future, illegal alien robots will steal your job.
  • In the future justice will be outlawed.
  • In the future, you’ll be able to buy a dishwasher with zero percent down and now taxes with free delivery on Patriot Day.

Future of Security Screening

The federal government, TSA, FAA, and other agencies know that airport security is security theater. The current airport screening policies, mechanisms, and technology is a joke and potentially dangerous to TSA staff and passengers as is the case with the naked body scanners. Current screening procedures and equipment keep changing ever few years but the future of airport screening is clear. TSA’s wet dream is to have everybody walk through the same screening machine. In the future, you will see that the screening checkpoint will be a enclosed tunnel where people will walk in a single file, much like the scene in Total Recall.

Scene From Total Recall

Scene From Total Recall

It’s clear that the government would prefer if everybody goes through an excessive full body naked scan to board a flight. It’s also clear that government agencies are usurping unprecedented power, that they are removing our civil liberties, our privacy, our rights one by one. The Department of Homeland Security would prefer of everybody goes through the same invasive machine, they want to remove the option of a pat down, remove the option or going through a metal detector, or other means.

The future of security checkpoint screening is to have everybody walk in a single file in a tunnel as they are scan multiple times at multiple frequencies with multiple naked body scanners. An array of naked body scanners can be installed along a long passageway that can capture passengers biometric information such as, retinal scans, facial scans, posture, walking sample, body temperature, heart rate, tattoos scans through clothing, etc. Video and audio recording is just the tip of the iceberg of what police will monitor, screen, and scan in public places for in the near future.

TSA Wants to Transport People in Train Cattle Freight Wagons

Recent reports are emerging about the latest atrocity committed by the TSA. TSA agents had a 95 year-old wheel chair bound woman suffering from late-stage leukemia to remove her adult diaper before she could be screen. Because, you never know, your 95 year-old grandma could be a Al Queda sleeper cell agent. In addition to having the elderly strip, the TSA agents have frisked toddlers. We’ve successfully killed Osama, dumped his body at sea, we’ll soon begin to withdrawal the nearly 100,000 soldiers from Afghanistan, but the TSA will still check your nuts and grab your boobs for your own safety before boarding a flight.

I honestly believe that the TSA would like all Americans to travel in railway cattle freight wagons, much like the victims of the holocaust.



Retweet April 2011

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in April 2011 such as the Royal Wedding, and the ongoing revolutions in the Middle East. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.


  • If the government shuts down will President Barrack Obama declare himself Sultan Hussein Obama?
  • The Obama 2012 campaign has begun… Obama to deliver speech from Facebook. I hope he will friend me.
  • Did the president just propose to share medical test results with your doctors on Facebook?
  • What is the president rambling about comparing the economy to cars “they still have clutch cars…?” I don’t think he has a drivers license.
  • We are both a nation of immigrants and a nation of laws – Obama
  • President Obama is the ringmaster of the sideshow, carnival, and circus of Obama barkers.
  • One way to prove if President Obama’s birth certificate is real is to look in the back and see if it’s “Made in China.”
  • Obama’s Birth Certificate for President 2012.
  • The fact that there was a birther debate for over two years proves President Obama lack of leadership outside his minions and Obamabots.
  • Real transparency ends the debate.
  • President Obama should just preemptively make available all public records and transcripts. He could just end the debate.
  • President Obama and the Obamabots fuel and seed the birther debate and the “sideshows and carnival barkers.
  • I have a birth certificate therefore I am.
  • Don’t be an Uncle Obama.
  • The name of my autobiography: I, Barry Soetoro
  • Obama promised to end the war in Iraq, but instead he got us involved in a civil war in Libya.
  • President Obama quietly accepted his transparency award from the open government community this week in a closed, undisclosed meeting.

Got Gov?

  • IRS agents don’t carry calculators, they carry guns.
  • Half of congress are trolls the other half are tools.
  • Welcome to the United Slaves of America.
  • Every time the TSA fondles your nuts a terrorist gets his wings.
  • In a transparent government there is no need for FOA requests because the information would already be in the public.
  • Just like real men are secure with themselves to wear pink, real democracies don’t scan the naked bodies of men, women, and children.
  • There is little surprise that Russian police confiscated thousands of books describing Russian police corruption.
  • What percent of China’s economy is based on copying, cloning, knock offs, piracy of American intellectual property?

War Racket

  • America will be in engaged in conflict across the globe for the next twenty years. This is World War III, we just don’t know it.
  • We are in the midst of World War III and we just don’t know it.
  • You can follow the money, or you can follow the oil.
  • Military speeding has besieged the economy.


  • Twitter is full of trolls, spooks, bots, and sockpuppets, and social media experts. I just don’t know which is worst to follow.
  • Does the US State Department run social media training camps in the Middle East?
  • Retweet Journalist is to journalism what back seat drivers and air chair quarterbacks are to NASCAR and football, respectively.
  • Dear @CNN, thanks for reporting all day on important news such as the royal wedding and not depressing news such a deadly tornado back home.
  • CNN should rename the network to SNN, Shill News Network.
  • The white house has a green room and a green screen room.

Royal Wedding

  • The royal wedding was a parade of bad teeth and bad hats.
  • The royal wedding is ruining my relationship.
  • The royal family is the biggest bunch of dead beat welfare recipients.
  • The only commentary about the monarchy and royal wedding is that of Thomas Paine.
  • If Price William had to battle for the crown of England as did his inbreeding barbarian ancestors he would end up being the court jester.


  • Is any employee worth $100 million dollars?
  • How do you monetize the bubble?
  • Why does naturally flavored sparkling water have aspartame?
  • What platform will reach the singularity first?
  • What the hell is Microsoft Project Server 2010 Accounts?
  • Does anyone use the Stickybits app?
  • Is social Google’s Vietnam?
  • Who moved my cheese? Who broke my test?
  • Is the point and shoot camera a thing of the past like film?
  • Is there a four square for time travellers?
  • You think Ansel Adams read his camera’s user guide?
  • Is there a haters convention?
  • Hacker or hustler?
  • Smart phones or spy phones?
  • Is Nicolas Cage the new Mel Gibson?
  • How do you monetize fear?
  • Why don’t we declare war on warmongers?


  • What is the ROI of your mom? – @garyvee
  • Creativity is a renewable resource. – Biz Stone
  • The chef doesn’t know the secret in the secret sauce? – Chef Ramsey
  • Clutch cars, do they still have them? – Obama


  • I dream in stereophonic sound.
  • Mixed signals: just say no + just do it = just say do it
  • I would love to eat dinosaur flavored Japanese style noodles instead of the chicken ones I am eating now.
  • Remixing ZZZZZzzzzz and dreams.
  • Everybody is a marketter.
  • The name of my autobiography: FML, the story of my life.
  • A pot pie is not what I thought it would be, completely different than pot brownie.
  • The cost and stress of doing your taxes should be tax deductible.
  • In the future everything will taste like aspartame, and not like chicken.
  • Making and microwaving are not the same thing, don’t say on when you mean the other.
  • In business you can patent a business process, porn industry is a large business, why not patent sex moves as a business process.
  • Some guys are better bachelors than they are boyfriends.
  • I love trolls, they are good for the lulz.
  • I have a barcode there for I exist.

Retweet Revolution

  • 1. Start a armed rebellion. 2. Open a central bank. 3. ????? 4. Profit 5. New national anthem.
  • Rock the revolution.
  • Not every rebel force is lead by a Luke Skywalker.
  • Big winner in Libyan Revolution of 2012 is Qatar.
  • Obama promised there wouldn’t be any boots in the ground in Libya, I guess CIA operatives don’t use boots.

Retweet December 2010

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in December 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Got Gov?

  • Bailouts, tax cuts, and deficits.
  • You don’t need a wikileak to know that the coordinated attack on wikileaks is by a covert government agency.
  • Do you think there is an office pool in some CIA break room to see when Julian Assagne will be neutralized?
  • The US has a policy to not negotiate with terrorists, but it is also known to fund and train them.
  • Since US forces can’t find Osama in Afghanistan, the TSA is searching in American travelers’ underpants.
  • We are enslaved in the name of freedom.
  • It’s not a free country, it’s a credit country.
  • Lady Liberty is a crack whore for oil.
  • I don’t want something that needs to be approved by a regulatory body in my body.
  • Constitutional monarchies are largely ceremonial, so is the constitution.
  • Some people in the current administration want to replace freedom with feardom.
  • for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR FEARDOM!


  • Don’t Ask, Don’t Read The Repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Act of 2010.
  • Whenever someone says that they are backed by “irrefutable facts” they are making it up.
  • Whenever someone says that they have the smoking gun, ask for the smoking gunman.
  • There is a three party system in American, the Republicans, the Democrats, and Annonymous.
  • No one respects your political views, not even those you vote for.
  • One dollar, one vote.
  • We the sheeple.
  • Once elected, they ain’t effective.
  • Hope don’t float.
  • If they outright lie while campaigning what don’t you think they lie about once elected?


  • Designed by Apple in California. Manufactured by Foxxcon in China.
  • More money more bills.
  • Some kids play baseball, other kids make the baseballs for $2/day.
  • Saying a corporation is too big to fail is like saying you are too big to eat.
  • The capitalism trumps innovation.
  • Martin Luther King JR’s estate charges academic authors $50 for each sentence of the “I Have a Dream” speech that they reprint.
  • “Sensory trademarks” include a duck quacking (AFLAC), a lion roaring (MGM), yodelling (Yahoo!), giggling (Pillsbury).
  • 91 pending trademarks bear Donald Trump’s name, including “Donald J. Trump the Fragrance” and “Trump’s Golden Lager.”
  • Micro lenders only leads to micro loan sharks.


  • NPR: National Propaganda Radio @NPR
  • Nationalism needs an enemy.
  • If you are listening to this you are the resistance.
  • Noticed that http://OFA.BO/ resolves to @BarackObama’s campaign website. BO is the TLD for Bolivia. What happened, wasn’t free?
  • Are news networks embedded in the military or the military embedded in the news network?
  • Censorship is only bad when it’s done by another country, it’s good for the homeland when it’s done by your country.
  • Suspicious Activities Report is the new world order witch hunt.
  • There is a lot of chedder in the intel for terror arrests in xmas by interstate corporate sponsored eggtremists.
  • Notice how ‘terror arrests’ sounds a lot like ‘terrorists.’
  • What ever happened to all that talk about Global Warming? It’s so cold that all of NY and parts of hell have frozen over.
  • There are conspiracy theorists, and there are conspiracy engineers.


  • Is the Internet half empty or half full?
  • Inception is a movie about implanting an idea someone’s mind through their dreams, what idea was implanted while watching the movie?
  • Is good the enemy of great?
  • If the Swiss army knife has all those blades, how does the Swiss army thank look like?
  • Whatever happened to Brownie the brown nose reindeer?
  • Which is better, a Star Wars or Lord of the Ring movie marathon?
  • What is your soundtrack to 2010?
  • When everyone thinks differently at the same time, is it really that different?
  • If you could invent a new holiday what would it be?
  • Which is worst a flake or a fake?
  • Why so serious?
  • What is your favorite Christmas movie?
  • Can you fake authenticity?
  • Is it racist to have a white sale on black Friday?


  • The world is the world’s greatest theme park, go out for a ride.
  • It’s been raining for a week now that everything is soaking wet. I think I need to go to work in a wet suit.
  • There is a reason why the term committed is both used to describe a long term relationship and your state in a insane asylum.
  • People will always have an opinion even when they don’t have a thought.
  • Life is not like a box of chocolate, it’s more like a can of worms.
  • Natural endorphin is a natural gateway drug.
  • My experience and background is broad and multi-trans-dimensional.
  • I’m the CEO of my blog.
  • People make me laugh. people + lol = peoplol.
  • Shift happens.
  • I have a mind altering migraine in the membrane.
  • Embarrass always ends with an ASS.
  • Let a thousand tweets retweet.
  • They see me tweetin, they hatin.
  • The future was here.
  • Three Little Words: I don’t care!
  • Let my people dance!
  • Novelty is not long lasting.
  • Having an out of body OMG moment.
  • I CAN HAZ ZZZZZzzzzz….
  • Space is so random.
  • I love how my hair is styled when I wake up.
  • Sex is the new love.
  • Love is not the cure, it is the disease.
  • There is no ease in dying from a disease.
  • Effort > Excuses
  • Happily ever now!
  • Happily ever after is a lie.
  • Love is straight.


  • OH: A little hazard pay never hurt anybody.
  • OH: my fingers are getting in the way of my typing.
  • OH: That’s a hype thing to do.
  • OH: xmas wrapping paper is so expensive, that is your xmas present.
  • OH: You are so messy you are a mess.
  • OH: All I did was open it and it turned on by itself.


  • Million Dollar Idea: Fortune cookies with ads and coupons instead of pseudo eastern philosophy.
  • Million Dollar Idea: ads on the side of metal detectors, such as stores, airports, etc.
  • Million dollar idea: caffeinated stem cells’ juice.
  • Million dollar idea of the day: BBQ tofu!
  • Million Dollar Idea: Bacon Juice
  • I can’t wait until e-ink can be used in clothes. Can you imagine your t-shirt design changing based on emotional state?
  • I’mma paint the curve in front my house red. I don’t know why my neighbors always parking their jalopy in front my house.

In Da Future

  • In the future, cartoons will deemed pornographic because cartoon character don’t have pants and are often naked.
  • In the future, the FBI will tap your Facebook wall, Foursquare check-ins, Twitter status updates, and Yelp reviews without a search warrant.
  • In the future, a realist will be called a cynic.
  • In the future, all electronic devices will have a secret root user and root kit pre-installed.

Blogmouth Year in Review 2010

The end of the year is a good time to reflect over the last year. 2010 was a water shed year, California held a election for governor, the TSA tightened security at airports, a massive health care bill was signed into law by President Obama, the war on terror continued and started to change focus from Osama to American travelers. All said and done, it was a good year. To help celebrate here are some of my favorite posts from 2010.

Retweet 2010




Retweet November 2010

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in November 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.


  • If President Obama would to walk through a naked body scanner it would show that he is a fake.
  • Where in the World is Carmen Santiago? Who in the World is Barry Soetoro?
  • Instead of Hope, President Obama’s campaign slogan for 2012 should be Grope!


  • The Art of Civil Disobedience: [redacted] [classified] [censored] [national security treat level purple]
  • Rapid rail is an oxymoron like clean coal.
  • The media loves to segregate people into black and white, blue state and red state, male and female, and 18-30 years and 30-whatever.


  • I belong to the church of Our Lady of No Regrets.
  • Feliz dia de los muertos y zombies!
  • Art is meant to be felt up not held up.
  • I’m thankful for being thankful.
  • I am a dream machine.
  • Traffic jam at In-N-Out drive thru, more at 11.
  • The 3G here feels like it lost a G.
  • Pomegranate is the flavor of the year.
  • Some cultures have holidays where they fast, up to a month, we have a two day holiday devoted to consumption.
  • Some songs are only meant to be heard with a bottle of tequila at hand.
  • If the Internet would re-imagine Santa, he would say LOL instead of ho! ho! ho! and kids would leave bacon out for him instead of cookies.
  • CDs, DVDs, Blu Rays, game cartridges, etc are future antiques sitting on someones shelf.
  • Randumb is the best dumb there is.
  • My bed is a hotbed of hot.
  • Just breath. Just believe. Just be.
  • Once you go Black Friday, you don’t go back.


  • OH: Your food gave diarrhea and your sex gave me gonorrhea.
  • OH: The turkey made you lazy.
  • OH: I’m done looking at my moms wish list. It’s really an uninspiring list.
  • OH: He has a little too much holiday spirit in his cup.
  • OH: Your feelings on stuff is ruining your relationships.
  • OH: Can I tie you up in tinsel?
  • OH: Girl has nothing to show and she is showing it.
  • OH: Everyone needs a little glitter in their life.
  • OH: We we have now is only like 0.1 of what we need, but it is like 10 times better than what we had before.
  • OH: Harrison Ford is a clone but is no Cloney

In The Future

  • In the future, to travel we would have to wear TSA approved travel gowns and slippers, much like medical gowns.
  • In the future, the government will repress opponents by calling them copyright pirates or terrorist.
  • In the future, civil disobedience will be in the form of retweet.
  • In the future, there will be a new venereal disease vector, TSA genital groping.
  • In the future, if a baby is born in transit the TSA pass him or her through a x-ray scanner before the mom can hold the baby.
  • In the future, a baby being born will need to agree to term of service and end user license agreements.
  • In the future, the FBI will raid your home because of the heirloom tomatoes you are growing in your backyard.


  • I practice safe sex and safe enhanced security groping. It good to be safe from terrorists and TSA spread STDs.
  • I been hearing all these stories of the TSA fondling and codling with transports, I’ll be wearing a condom next time I travel to be safe.
  • TSA: TSA Sexual Assualt
  • What is the TSA’s exit plan?
  • Worst governmental agencies in history: the Hitler’s SS, Hussein’s Republican Guards, and Obama’s TSA.
  • The TSA would just as well force everyone to walk around naked so they could get a better view.
  • TSA want to check your private package personally! Opt out! Cock out! Opt out!
  • I figured out what TSA stands for, Thuggishly Screen Americans!
  • Can’t wait until the government starts a national database of naked body scanner pictures.
  • It’s not security when your own government use scare tactics.
  • You give up all civil rights when you give up your genitalia to government officials, because by then the government has you by the balls!

Favorite Tweets November 2010

There are some funny people on Twitter. Whenever I find a funny, witty, or thought provoking I usually retweet it and favorite it. Here is a small collection of recent tweets that stoop out to me.


  • @DamnItsTrue: Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns -> most womens probIems begin with men. #DamnItsTrue
  • @carlmaxim: Sarah Palin says Julian Assange should be hunted down like Osama bin Laden. So he should be safe for at least a decade. #WikiLeaks
  • @rachelsklar: Chasing straight vodka with pickles. You know it.
  • @ericgonzalez: OH: “I can’t get AT&T reception at AT&T park” #lolz
  • @swedal: Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?
  • @lolprez: #rally4sanity is a rally without a cause.
  • @LyrIcSmasHER: In math but I feel like I’m in spanish
  • @Krissy90220: Makeup is one hell of a drug
  • @michaelnichols: Words of encouragement from my coworker: “Be Positive! Shit Rainbows!”
  • @summertomato: OH: “I didn’t really cook all this, but I did cut the cheese.”
  • @tnylgn: Eating Halloween candy and ignoring the doorbell. A little game I like to call fuck you I paid for it.
  • @wafflesgirls: i only illegally download music for my stolen ipod


  • @TheFragileKate: Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful :)
  • @Pres_Bartlet: Meg Whitman’s personal spending on her campaign: $163 million. National Endowment for the Arts 2010 budget: $161.4 million.
  • @ShesMorgan: We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
  • @God_Damn_Batman: So Harry Potter’s parents were murdered before his eyes, now he wears a black cloak and fights evil? EXPECT A CALL FROM MY LAWYERS ROWLING!!
  • @maxklein: The easiest way to rob a bank is to have one
  • @LyrIcSmasHER: Hope is a distant memory
  • @SarahBlakeInc: Will I take Amazon Gift Cards as payment? Sure, when the light company does
  • @EssyDoesIt: Rule #1 … im #1 .


  • @sacca: Just saw a TSA agent check whether a laser pointer was working by shooting it directly into her eye. Should I admire her dedication?
  • @mistersterling: I’m considering shoving McDonald’s Happy Meal toys in my pants when I get to the airport. Hilarious consequences for sure.
  • @TSAagent: This #SecurityTheatre is starting to feel less like a theatre and more like a strip club. #TSA #TSAagent #BadTouch


  • @the_tech_bubble: Hey Groupon, $6 billion isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? Actually, $6 billion is pretty cool.
  • @davepell: Groupon seems to be the one company in their universe NOT willing to take a discount.
  • @avalanche123: “Java is a DSL for taking large XML files and converting them to stack traces”
  • @KieranO: What did all the Social Media Experts do for a living before social media?
  • @yurechko: “@arrington is the Glenn Beck of technology”
  • @tonystubblebine: A good tech conference always makes me want to leave early and write code. Having trouble sitting still at #w2s
  • @mktgdouchebag: I wonder how the person who first said “That’s for me to know and you to find out” is adjusting to Facebook.

TSA USA Grope Fest

Instead of a link fest, a collection of links on a given topic, I decided to do a grope fest in honor of the intrusive new procedures enforced by the TSA. Apparently, as many Americans have come to find out, TSA stands for TSA Sexual Assault. When running for president, then presidential candidate Obama ran on a platform of hope. Now, two years into his presidency, American hope has transformed to grope. You give up all constitutional rights when you give up your genitalia to government officials to be frisked and handled, because by then the government has you by the balls! I don’t know about you, but there is a no fly zone in my pants so government official keep you hands to yourself. Talk about the overreach hand of government.

TSA Grope Checkpoint

TSA Grope Checkpoint