KimJongNumberUn Will Destroy All The Things

Kim Jong-Un has been trending on Twitter since he became the head of the government of North Korea with the passing of his father, the Kim Jong-Il. Most recently, Kim Jong-Un has been trending because of rumors of his death have gone viral on social networking sites. As it’s customary, for every trending topic there must be a satire account on Twitter and so there is a fake Kim Jong-Un account @KimJongNumberUn. Event though the @KimJonNumberUn account is not real, I sounds real enough. Here are a few choice tweets from @KimJongNumberUn.

  • I could not sleep last night worrying about one of those four madmen getting nuclear weapons. #cnndebate #flprimary
  • Still four of them? What was the point of the last debate if no one was executed? #cnndebate
  • If the Arizona governor stuck her finger in my face, you know what I’d call that? A free snack.
  • My critics say I’m out of touch. But if that’s true, how come I have so many friends on MySpace? #BOOM
  • Here’s my state of the union: it’s fuckin dope. Peace out yall.
  • In case you’re wondering where Facebook’s privacy policy came from, they stole it from the N Korean government. #PROPS
  • Once a year I, too, gather all my political opponents in one room, to shoot them. #SOTU
  • Sending people to a crowded freezing place and making them watch indie films is one form of torture we haven’t tried.
  • The negative ads Americans use to destroy other politicians seem crazily expensive compared to our system of poisoning.
  • So the Republican leader pays no taxes and gets rich on the labor of others? American bastards have stolen our system.
  • Dope news, y’all – just decided that our national bird will be Angry.
  • IF SOUTH KOREA POKES ME ON FACEBOOK I WILL CONSIDER THAT AN ACT OF WAR #SHITJUSTGOTREAL
  • The US claims it stands for human rights, and yet it banned Four Loko. #hypocrisy
  • Does my population make me look fat?
  • I have 20,000 followers after only 7 days. Not bad for a dude who banned the Internet. #pimpin
  • At moments like this it terrifies me that the US has nuclear weapons. #GOPDebate
  • Yall played this dope new game Farmville? Imaginary farms grow imaginary food. Just like North Korea. #sofaking #dope
  • Willing to trade nuclear fuel rod for XBox 360 in good condition. IM me on MySpace.

Balloon Boy

The are report of evidence that the whole ordeal that Balloon Boy put the nation through was a hoax orchestrated by Balloon Boy’s reality television obsessed dad. Balloon Boy and other hashtags associated to him where trending all day when this happened. People where glued to Twitter for information about Balloon Boy. Here are some choice tweets gathered from Twitter as it was happening live.

  • @cheninboutwell: dear #balloonboy, you owe me an hour of my life back.
  • @tollehaus: What parent *hasn’t* left their huge helium balloon tethered within reach of their young children? Let’s not get all judgy… #balloonboy
  • @ComputerFriends: Wonder how much the bill will be for ‘hiding in the attic’ #balloonboy
  • @greg_a_elliott: is selling Balloon Boy Brand HIDING BOXES! Get yours today! Perfect for home, tavern or office! WHEREVER YOU SCREW UP BAD! #balloonboy #hype
  • @AaronKlein: #Balloonboy is found in his garage. “Uh…mom and dad are looking for you, man. Oh yeah, and Katie Couric called.”
  • @Tinkbell1422: #balloonboy is the little douchebag that stiffed me at work today lemme catch his ass watch..
  • @thext: has anybody considered looking for #balloonboy inside the house before spending 1/2 million dollars to rescue him from his f’n UFO?
  • @shervin: Balloon boy is ‘grounded’, literally. #balloonboy
  • @jjuunniiee: #balloonboy would be grounded for the rest of his life if he were my kid.
  • @oheredia: i guess #balloonboy was actually #atticboy
  • @budweiserplease: this whole #balloonboy incident is exactly why i’m never having kids. i would always lose them. speaking of, has anyone seen my dog?
  • @princessangela: Yo Balloon Boy, I’m a let you finish, but Anne Frank had the best attic hideout spot of all time. #balloonboy
  • @caitlint: Was #balloonboy sponsored by Redbull?
  • @toddadamson: What’s TMZ saying about #balloonboy?
  • @shmeilia: i dont know whether to be scared for balloon boy or super jealous of him for having a homemade hot air balloon in the 1st place! #balloonboy
  • @BeeJayEmCee: (Lmfaoooo)– Hold on #balloonboy, imma let you finish, but Amelia Earhart had one of the best disappearances in flight OF ALL TIME!!
  • @SpAM_CAN: Wasn’t #balloonboy livestreamed the whole time? Couldn’t they wind the tape back?
  • @csmyers88: WHERE IS #balloonboy in Nevernever land????
  • @dja17: CNN has stopped caring about #balloonboy and has switched to health care lmao == Cause it’s fake
  • @jayilla: this #balloonboy reminds me of the Simpsons episode when bart fell down the well lol. . . .
  • @TheFagCasanova: Pixar have gone all out to promote ‘Up’ haven’t they? #Balloonboy
  • @nydblockny: older brother reported #balloonboy as missing… sounds like he killed him by mistake and then set that shit off.
  • @matthewjoseph: I blame aliens #balloonboy
  • @infidel118i: It’s fucking ironic #balloonboy ‘s name is FALCON, yo. Hope the kid werent in it though.
  • @nAn18: Kids in my day used to buy magic beans to grow a beanstalk to reach the clouds. Fuckin science, keep on flyin #balloonboy