In this post I’ll be reblogging some retweets from the past month broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events such as the upcoming general election, the Supreme Court’s decision on ObamaCare, and the ongoing investigation into the fiasco that is known as Operation Fast and Furious. Follow the conversation at xwoop and lolprez.
Barack Obama doesn’t care about white people, but he doesn’t much care for black either. The only people he cares about is George Clooney.
Romney admitted of putting a dog in it’s crate on top of a the family wagon, Obama admitted of eating dog. #DogsAgainstObama
Just like pork is the other white meat, Obama is the just another white president.
Obama Rule 33: If we can leak who leaked that leak we’ll leak the consequences.
The Obama Decree: If you are killed by the US military, by definition you must have been a military combatant even if you are a 15 y/o kid.
Obama’s Campaign Promise: We will tax you, drone you, or plant spyware virus in your network.
ObamaCare is one big penalty.
Show me the penalties.
… but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and penalties. – Benjamin Franklin
What’s in a name? that which we call a penalty by any other name would smell as sweet.
If it quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck, it must be a penalty.
A tax is a tax is a penalty.
All taxes are penalties.
If the federal agencies are sending guns to Mexico in an operation like Fast and Furious, what are they sending to Iraq, Syria, Libya, etc?
Fast and Furious = Drugs and Death
The cooperation from the Obama administration into Fast and Furious investigation has been anything but fast fast or furious.
Fast and Furious or Dumb and Dumber?
In America, guns walk more than people. #FastAndFurious
The Supreme Court ruling on Citizens United really means Money United.
In this case, we said we would look into it, we did look into, but we can’t look into it further here. – State Department Spokesperson
In capitalist america, bunker busting bombs discover oil.
The USA might as well change its name to NSA.
National security is not above liberty, freedom, privacy, and the rule and due process of law.
The US reserves the right to use military force in response to cyber attacks and yet it finds itself cyber attacking other nations.
No one does propaganda better than the American press.
The land of opportunity is based on inequality.
The Today show is losing ratings faster than Matt Lauer is losing his hair.
When the only objective of news networks is the bottom line, then there is no free press.
In drones we trust.
The best chance to win a fight, is to change the rules of the fight…
If an opponent is preparing for a boxing fight, he will be surprised when you kick him in the face.
The United States is almost in a many war theaters as it was in the World War II. #WWIII
The United States is involved in more covert wars than it was in the Cold War.
Afghanistan is a mess, as is Libya, as is Iraq, as is Egypt, and Obama/CIA keeps droning Pakistan, and interfering in Syria. #WWIII
What if Russia puts a radar missile defense in Iran?
Will President Obama be the first US president to be charged as a war criminal?
How large are your dreams? Do you measure them in feet or in miles?
What happens when you disrupt those disrupting? #meta #disrupt
What is the sound of one hand web surfing?
Can a can cancan?
If birds evolved from dinosaurs does that mean that birds can devolve back to dinosaurs?
Is there a vaccine for idiocy?
The largest threat to mankind is mankind itself.
I can’t wait for the day when there will be an Autonomous Algorithm Automobile Association of American membership…
Trees are your friends.
The future has been sold to a time traveling mining corporations.
Nature is the world’s greatest mathematician, inventor, engineer, and biz dev guy ever.
In this post I’ll be reblogging some retweets from the past month broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events such as the upcoming general election, Obama economics, and Romney’s Amercia. Follow the conversation at xwoop and lolprez.
I wonder if President Obama will drone someone for me if I give a campaign donation. It would be a better prize than dinner with Clooney.
Some call it Flip Flop, Obama calls it Evolution.
Obama’s New Campaign Promise: Capital punishment by lethal droning.
Obama wasn’t born in Hawaii or Kenya, he was born in Ferenginar.
When a Nobel Peace Price winner drones children, clearly there is something wrong with our concept of peace.
Is President Obama in the White House closet?
President Obama comes out of the closet… about how he feels about gays. #vote #gay
Prior to being President, Obama created zero jobs and zero economic value. And it’s debatable what he’s done since becoming president.
The American dream used to be making it as a self made man, today the American dream according to Obama is just getting by.
Since Obama took office, the number of Americans that have renounced their US citizenship has increased by more than 7 times.
Instead of raffling a $40k/plate dinner at George Clooney’s house President Obama should have raffled a job paying at least that much a year.
The second easiest thing Obama has done is order the death of Osama. The easiest thing he has done is take all the credit.
In this election, Obama will get more Facebook likes than votes.
@BarackObama doesn’t realize we are still in a recession. When Obama took office he blamed Bush, now he blames Romney. #obamanomics
Obama never ran a business, had to manage a balance sheet, or created a new job. Obama’s economics is based on debt. #obamanomics
@BarackObama do you have a bumper sticker for a heterosexual weed smoking 2nd amendment toting gold standard big pimping America fuck-yeah individual?
I’m starting to believe that the Obama campaign has no concept of how jobs work. These guys seem like they’ve never worked a day.
Obama is charging $40k a plate to have dinner with him and George Clooney, do you think he cares what you are having for dinner? #elite
Operation Fast and Furious is the Leave No Drug Cartel Behind program.
The reason why the government wants to try you with a jury of your peers is that they government thinks that you and your peers are stupid.
The whole of the US government is a giant web of conspiracies.
One Nation Under Drones
NYPD’s stop-and-frisk based on “reasonable suspicion” go against the 4th amendments’ unreasonable searches and seizures.
I am not afraid of some thief holding me up, but of the police patting me down.
You used to be innocent until proven guilty, now you are guilty if reasonable suspicious.
If the government was a publicly traded company, it would be shutdown.
The US is foiling its own terror plots.
Mitt Romney’s dad was born in Mexico… Which means that Mitt can and may have a Mexican passport and is of Mexican decent.
Under a @MittRomney presidency his own dad, who was born in Mexico, would not had been able to emigrate here.
In fact, I think that @MittRomney is an anchor baby. We should double check his birth certificate.
Next to the oldest profession is politician.
The reason why presidential candidates reach out to the youth vote is that the youth have few memories of past campaign promises.
Follow the kickbacks.
What state is Senator Lieberman from? Connecticut or Israel?
Cash is king and it gets presidents elected.
Banks are playing bailout musical chairs.
People may not understand the meaning of mortgage… It is French for “death contract.”
If there is such a thing as peak oil then there is going to be peak civilization.
One nation under austerity.
To big too fail never stopped anybody from failing… The bigger they are the harder they fall.
When financial groups run and manage health insurance companies and hospitals we are all screwed.
There are more lawyers and financial analysts making health coverage decisions than doctors and nurses.
Wall Street bankers are not too big to fail, they make errors and fail all the time. The American people are too docile to do anything about it.
All of the world’s oil belongs to us, and as such we are willing pay for it but it nevertheless belongs to us.
Greed is a weapon of mass destruction.
Private prison system is the beginning of modern and legalized slave trade.
Capitalism did not win out communism, greed did.
The Real Buffett Rule: I trust Warren Buffett to know his best to spend his money more than I trust Obama to spend mine.
Where’s the beef, where’s the jobs. It’s the economy, stupid. Read my lips, no more naked body scanners.
I have some neighbors that have like six cars… The DMV should charge a incremental percent for each additional car in a household.
Does CNN stand for Celebrity No News?!
The free press has been co-opted.
The whole idea of a free speech zone violates, rapes, and leaves for dead the unalienable and universal human right of free speech.
We are all brainwashed, it’s called the education system.
Remember how the media keep reporting that everyone was going to die because of the swine flu. That was classic.
99% = We The People
We will not be serving continental breakfast or providing free wi-fi at the revolution.
If we’re at peak oil does that mean we’ve also reached peak civilization?
Big money always trumps good science.
US Syria Plan: Observer -> Peace Keeper -> Consultant -> No Fly Zone -> Marines -> Soldiers -> Mercenaries -> Oil Company Men -> Oil Workers
There will be more police than athletes at the London 2012 Olympics.
One Nation Under War: we have a war on terror, war on the rich, war on drugs, war on pacifists, war on women, …
Oil is not infinite, and the only way to get American interventionists out of a country is for that country to not have any oil left.
Oil is great!
All your oil belongs to us.
Was Dear John written by the War Department?
There are no such things as a random bullet.
If NASA would have found oil instead of water in Mars we would already had colonized it.
Gay marriage is like a Boca Burger.
Hipsters are the swinger vote.
The Zoloft Defense: Assault someone under the influence of Zoloft and you may get out of jail free.
The Secret: Positive thinking and a AK-47 can change the world.
A lot of human morality is based on jealousy.
The Bachelorette should be renamed to The Douchebags.
Apparently there is no such thing as a dumb question or a dumb tweet.
Inside every dream wedding is a nightmare divorce.
What is the short abbreviated name for the Comedy Awards? The Commies?
There is no ideology only ego.
There is nothing royal about the royal family.
In Da Future
In the future, there will be little difference between a known journalist and known terrorist.
In the future, you’ll pay taxes at the local, state, federal, and united nations level.
In the future, there will be a vaccine to cure you of your humanity.
In the future, the White House counsel will declare the Supreme Court unconstitutional.
The national food in #Amercia must be the #potatoe.
Romney thinks we live in #Amercia and Obama thinks Westminster Abbey is in a time bubble in 2008.
I think Romney will win the presidency in #Amercia.
Romney doesn’t only misspell #Amercia but also his own name to #Rmoney.
Romney app didn’t misspell America… He was sending code indicating who really runs AmerCIA.
In this post I’ll be reblogging some retweets from the past month broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events such as the upcoming general election as well as the continuing military droning in the Middle East. Follow the conversation at xwoop and lolprez.
Obama is a better campaigner than he is as a president.
O.B.A.M.A: One Big Awful Mistake America
Obama paid 20.5% of his income in income taxes. Why doesn’t he pay his fair share?
Under the Obama administration the GSA is partying it up in Vegas, Secret Service paying (or not paying) or hooker in Colombia, what else?
The most corrupt organization in the world must be the police.
American foreign policy is established, enforced, and powered by cash, hookers, and coke.
All laws are Trojan horses that erode and reduce and limit our freedoms, liberties, and unalienable rights.
Citizenship is only for those that agree with the executive branch, all else are deemed enemy combatants.
The Presidential Rule: the longer a president is in office, the corruptible he becomes.
The general public loves to forget the atrocities of war, but military leaders love to learn from them.
The holocaust was not the first holocaust, and it wasn’t the last holocaust in history.
All wars are civil wars, because we are all the same people just made to fear each other.
Civil War is an oxymoron and belligerents are just morons.
I think we are well beyond peak sushi!
My heartbeat is my workout.
Ideas are free but originality will cost you!
The one truth is that there is no one true universal truth.
Here is a new drink I made up: teen angst = 2/3 hand sanitizer, 1/3 orange juice, rim the glass with bath salts
Style or swag?
What do you do when you are bullied by your teacher?
How cool is the average person?
Who wouldn’t love paid administrative leave?
How do climate change shills explain Anchorage, AK setting a new snowfall record? #global #warming #warmmonger
OH: If you talking to yourself keep it to yourself.
OH: So my idea was brilliant, but only for a minute.
OH: I’m so sick of people that complain all day.
OH: What language do people speak here nowadays?
OH: Don’t worry about people that don’t matter.
OH: You, me, and your period have gone through a lot.
The end of the year is a good time to reflect over the last year. 2011 was a water shed year, Osama bin Laden was killed in Pakistan, Occupy Wall Street occupied mostly public parks, the Arab Spring bloomed into bloodshed, US troops pulled out of Iraq after Iraq said so, and much more. All said and done, it was a good year. To help celebrate here are some of my favorite posts from 2011.
Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in December 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.
Bailouts, tax cuts, and deficits.
You don’t need a wikileak to know that the coordinated attack on wikileaks is by a covert government agency.
Do you think there is an office pool in some CIA break room to see when Julian Assagne will be neutralized?
The US has a policy to not negotiate with terrorists, but it is also known to fund and train them.
Since US forces can’t find Osama in Afghanistan, the TSA is searching in American travelers’ underpants.
We are enslaved in the name of freedom.
It’s not a free country, it’s a credit country.
Lady Liberty is a crack whore for oil.
I don’t want something that needs to be approved by a regulatory body in my body.
Constitutional monarchies are largely ceremonial, so is the constitution.
Some people in the current administration want to replace freedom with feardom.
for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR FEARDOM!
Don’t Ask, Don’t Read The Repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Act of 2010.
Whenever someone says that they are backed by “irrefutable facts” they are making it up.
Whenever someone says that they have the smoking gun, ask for the smoking gunman.
There is a three party system in American, the Republicans, the Democrats, and Annonymous.
No one respects your political views, not even those you vote for.
One dollar, one vote.
We the sheeple.
Once elected, they ain’t effective.
Hope don’t float.
If they outright lie while campaigning what don’t you think they lie about once elected?
Designed by Apple in California. Manufactured by Foxxcon in China.
More money more bills.
Some kids play baseball, other kids make the baseballs for $2/day.
Saying a corporation is too big to fail is like saying you are too big to eat.
The capitalism trumps innovation.
Martin Luther King JR’s estate charges academic authors $50 for each sentence of the “I Have a Dream” speech that they reprint.
“Sensory trademarks” include a duck quacking (AFLAC), a lion roaring (MGM), yodelling (Yahoo!), giggling (Pillsbury).
91 pending trademarks bear Donald Trump’s name, including “Donald J. Trump the Fragrance” and “Trump’s Golden Lager.”
Micro lenders only leads to micro loan sharks.
NPR: National Propaganda Radio @NPR
Nationalism needs an enemy.
If you are listening to this you are the resistance.
Noticed that http://OFA.BO/ resolves to @BarackObama’s campaign website. BO is the TLD for Bolivia. What happened, Barack.ly wasn’t free?
Are news networks embedded in the military or the military embedded in the news network?
Censorship is only bad when it’s done by another country, it’s good for the homeland when it’s done by your country.
Suspicious Activities Report is the new world order witch hunt.
There is a lot of chedder in the intel for terror arrests in xmas by interstate corporate sponsored eggtremists.
Notice how ‘terror arrests’ sounds a lot like ‘terrorists.’
What ever happened to all that talk about Global Warming? It’s so cold that all of NY and parts of hell have frozen over.
There are conspiracy theorists, and there are conspiracy engineers.
Is the Internet half empty or half full?
Inception is a movie about implanting an idea someone’s mind through their dreams, what idea was implanted while watching the movie?
Is good the enemy of great?
If the Swiss army knife has all those blades, how does the Swiss army thank look like?
Whatever happened to Brownie the brown nose reindeer?
Which is better, a Star Wars or Lord of the Ring movie marathon?
What is your soundtrack to 2010?
When everyone thinks differently at the same time, is it really that different?
If you could invent a new holiday what would it be?
Which is worst a flake or a fake?
Why so serious?
What is your favorite Christmas movie?
Can you fake authenticity?
Is it racist to have a white sale on black Friday?
The world is the world’s greatest theme park, go out for a ride.
It’s been raining for a week now that everything is soaking wet. I think I need to go to work in a wet suit.
There is a reason why the term committed is both used to describe a long term relationship and your state in a insane asylum.
People will always have an opinion even when they don’t have a thought.
Life is not like a box of chocolate, it’s more like a can of worms.
Natural endorphin is a natural gateway drug.
My experience and background is broad and multi-trans-dimensional.
I’m the CEO of my blog.
People make me laugh. people + lol = peoplol.
I have a mind altering migraine in the membrane.
Embarrass always ends with an ASS.
Let a thousand tweets retweet.
They see me tweetin, they hatin.
The future was here.
Three Little Words: I don’t care!
Let my people dance!
Novelty is not long lasting.
Having an out of body OMG moment.
I CAN HAZ ZZZZZzzzzz….
Space is so random.
I love how my hair is styled when I wake up.
Sex is the new love.
Love is not the cure, it is the disease.
There is no ease in dying from a disease.
Effort > Excuses
Happily ever now!
Happily ever after is a lie.
Love is straight.
OH: A little hazard pay never hurt anybody.
OH: my fingers are getting in the way of my typing.
OH: That’s a hype thing to do.
OH: xmas wrapping paper is so expensive, that is your xmas present.
OH: You are so messy you are a mess.
OH: All I did was open it and it turned on by itself.
Million Dollar Idea: Fortune cookies with ads and coupons instead of pseudo eastern philosophy.
Million Dollar Idea: ads on the side of metal detectors, such as stores, airports, etc.
Million dollar idea: caffeinated stem cells’ juice.
Million dollar idea of the day: BBQ tofu!
Million Dollar Idea: Bacon Juice
I can’t wait until e-ink can be used in clothes. Can you imagine your t-shirt design changing based on emotional state?
I’mma paint the curve in front my house red. I don’t know why my neighbors always parking their jalopy in front my house.
In Da Future
In the future, cartoons will deemed pornographic because cartoon character don’t have pants and are often naked.
In the future, the FBI will tap your Facebook wall, Foursquare check-ins, Twitter status updates, and Yelp reviews without a search warrant.
In the future, a realist will be called a cynic.
In the future, all electronic devices will have a secret root user and root kit pre-installed.
Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in November 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.
If President Obama would to walk through a naked body scanner it would show that he is a fake.
Where in the World is Carmen Santiago? Who in the World is Barry Soetoro?
Instead of Hope, President Obama’s campaign slogan for 2012 should be Grope!
The Art of Civil Disobedience: [redacted] [classified] [censored] [national security treat level purple]
Rapid rail is an oxymoron like clean coal.
The media loves to segregate people into black and white, blue state and red state, male and female, and 18-30 years and 30-whatever.
I belong to the church of Our Lady of No Regrets.
Feliz dia de los muertos y zombies!
Art is meant to be felt up not held up.
I’m thankful for being thankful.
I am a dream machine.
Traffic jam at In-N-Out drive thru, more at 11.
The 3G here feels like it lost a G.
Pomegranate is the flavor of the year.
Some cultures have holidays where they fast, up to a month, we have a two day holiday devoted to consumption.
Some songs are only meant to be heard with a bottle of tequila at hand.
If the Internet would re-imagine Santa, he would say LOL instead of ho! ho! ho! and kids would leave bacon out for him instead of cookies.
CDs, DVDs, Blu Rays, game cartridges, etc are future antiques sitting on someones shelf.
Randumb is the best dumb there is.
My bed is a hotbed of hot.
Just breath. Just believe. Just be.
Once you go Black Friday, you don’t go back.
OH: Your food gave diarrhea and your sex gave me gonorrhea.
OH: The turkey made you lazy.
OH: I’m done looking at my moms wish list. It’s really an uninspiring list.
OH: He has a little too much holiday spirit in his cup.
OH: Your feelings on stuff is ruining your relationships.
OH: Can I tie you up in tinsel?
OH: Girl has nothing to show and she is showing it.
OH: Everyone needs a little glitter in their life.
OH: We we have now is only like 0.1 of what we need, but it is like 10 times better than what we had before.
OH: Harrison Ford is a clone but is no Cloney
In The Future
In the future, to travel we would have to wear TSA approved travel gowns and slippers, much like medical gowns.
In the future, the government will repress opponents by calling them copyright pirates or terrorist.
In the future, civil disobedience will be in the form of retweet.
In the future, there will be a new venereal disease vector, TSA genital groping.
In the future, if a baby is born in transit the TSA pass him or her through a x-ray scanner before the mom can hold the baby.
In the future, a baby being born will need to agree to term of service and end user license agreements.
In the future, the FBI will raid your home because of the heirloom tomatoes you are growing in your backyard.
I practice safe sex and safe enhanced security groping. It good to be safe from terrorists and TSA spread STDs.
I been hearing all these stories of the TSA fondling and codling with transports, I’ll be wearing a condom next time I travel to be safe.
TSA: TSA Sexual Assualt
What is the TSA’s exit plan?
Worst governmental agencies in history: the Hitler’s SS, Hussein’s Republican Guards, and Obama’s TSA.
The TSA would just as well force everyone to walk around naked so they could get a better view.
TSA want to check your private package personally! Opt out! Cock out! Opt out!
I figured out what TSA stands for, Thuggishly Screen Americans!
Can’t wait until the government starts a national database of naked body scanner pictures.
It’s not security when your own government use scare tactics.
You give up all civil rights when you give up your genitalia to government officials, because by then the government has you by the balls!
Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in October 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.
After two years into his administration, why do I feel like President Obama pulled a Nigerian scam on the American people!
Words that have lost their meaning in 2010: transparency, open, hope
Are you down with the GOP? Yeah, you know me!
War on Terror really means war x terror, resulting in more of both not less of each.
Playboy should do a an issue where all the pictures are taken from the naked body scanners used by the TSA at airport security checkpoints.
What the TSA considers optional procedures are another name for beta testing and they are testing on the public!
To opt-out is a constitutional right!
Aside from the Bible, the most often misinterpreted and misunderstood document is the constitution!
China is one giant fiefdom of corporate sweatshops.
The next world war will be over the moon’s resources!
Ron Paul and The Rent Is Too Damn High Party Guy for president 2012!!!
There are four kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics, and campaign promises!If Hitler were alive today, he would be the president of the RIAA.
As a business woman, if Meg Whitman has spent $140 million of her own cash for her campaign, what does she expect as a ROI on that?
It is calculated that Meg Whitman has spent $140 million of her own money on her campaign. Talk about trying to buy an election.
#rally4sanity is a rally without a cause.
Democracy, based on a true story.
The Oscars should have a new award category, Best Political Campaign Smear Ad!
Liquidity is king.
What industry can we outsource next? Agriculture?
All blue color jobs will be outsourced to robots.
American pride is well ahead of the American economy.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could outsource wood chucking?
What a folly to believe you are saving money by buying something on sale, especially if you can do without it!
Capitalism is driven in large part by selling to people that don’t have the money things that they do not need.
When talking about Pakistan, the news often speaks of the “tribal area.”. Where is the tribal area of the US? Washington, DC!
The political correctness police is just as bad as the secret police in making examples of those that honestly speak their mind.
We all remembered the Alamo, but the reason why we should remember the Alamo we did not remember.
Another word for Cap and Trade is carbon emission fiefdom.
Another word for Cap and Trade is rations.
Education requires student participation.
The news has a statistical error rate of 30%!
Freedom begets freedom.
If the universe was a painting would it be more like a Michelangelo, Picasso, or Banksy?
Is there such a thing as too much data?
Where in the world is sesame street located at?
If a zombie eats a green 1-up mushroom does it come back to life?
What is the current temperature of the universe?
What is up with teams named after years, the 49ers, the 76ers?
If your name is it, what is the word used to describe something as belonging to you? Is it, it’s or its?
I meme therefore I am.
Grammatical rules are meant to be broken!
The future is an origami folded onto a fractal.
In the end, gravity always win!
Pumpkin is a great flavor, I should patent it.
Don’t let you conscious mind cock block your subconscious mind.
Some people are sex machines others sex robots.
I tweet therefore I am.
Stress is a gateway emotion!
Chocolate rain is a great example of a purple cow.
What is up with teams named after years, the 49ers, the 76ers? I wanna start a new team, the 10Kers BC!
3D TV is to real 3D what reality TV is to regular reality.
Give me a S. Give me a I. Give me a C. Give me a tissue. What does that spell? I’m sickie…
Man, I have a bad case of funk shui!
There no vacation for a parent!
Dim Sum is the Chinese version of Spanish Tapas.
Love hurts deeply!
Love is the other four letter word.
Love means never having to say your sorry but always admitting its you fault, “It’s my fault honey, I’ll fix that.”
It’s a thin line between love and hate, and the more passionately someone hates someone else the more that line bleeds into love.
OH: Are you going to tweet that?
OH: What we have now is only like 0.1 of what we need, but it’s like 10 times better than what we had before.
OH: I’m not paying the heating bill for ghosts.
OH: that’s what happens when a post is auto-generated from a Twitter account with tweets entered on an iPhone by someone with fat fingers.
OH: I’m tough on you because I need you to be tough!
OH: You should be a computer security researcher since you seem to be the first to contract every computer virus known to man.
OH: There’s always been pros and cons left and right day and night then and now, always.
OH: Your logic doesn’t follow, so neither do I.
OH: This tastes like space Chinese food.
OH: Don’t you worry about it. When you start worrying about me that’s when I get worried.
OH: Oh, no, Obama is the President of the United States, he would never lie to the people, why would you think that?
McDs should have a truth in advertising campaign and name their products to better descriptive names like McFatty, McGrub, and McTasteless.
If you farm generic genetically engineered fish twice the size and in half the time then you’ll get none of the flavor.
Monsanto should make a cooking book, Genetically Modified Foods for the Soul
In addition to fish, meat, diary, and vegetables there is a new food group, bioengineered.
Happy Halloween! Trick or tweet!!!
If grown people come to trick or treat and they don’t have a costume they are getting veggie stix!
People getting rid of Easter candy on Halloween: http://twitpic.com/32u2ca
Why are people giving out Easter candy on Halloween.
Who you gonna call? Watching Ghostbusters!
Watching The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror marathon!
Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in September 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.
Fees are the new taxes.
No new wars. No new taxes.
Laws are made to make everyone out to be criminals.
Just how the US government has a Department of the Interior it should have a Department of the Pursuit of Happiness.
Stupidity is not illegal, in fact it’s usually written right into the law.
We are a nation of laws and loopholes. We are a nation of citizens and cheats.
The US is a one party system, Republicans and Democrat are two side of the same coin, two pockets in the same special interest.
The Situation for Senate.
Tax subsidy is an oxymoron.
Life, liberty and the pursuit of capital!
Capitalism teaches people that a persons value in society is based on his or her financial net worth.
Investment bankers are high with your own supply.
Is time a wave or a particle?
Ice cream or cake?
Do two majors (major major) add up to one problem?
Which is best fish sticks or meatballs?
Is there a Jehovah Witness do not call list?
Do you feel better when you save or splurge?
Why do you need drugs to kick the habit of taking drugs?
Why am I carrying all these cards, credit cards, reward cards, gift cards, hotel key cards?
What’s the Finnish word for finish?
Are you working or working it?
Is TV reality celebrity a new career choice?
Is there anything higher than cloud 9?
Can you have OCD but be to lazy to be compulsive?
What cartoon character you relate with the most?
Happy Friday the 13th! Does Hallmark have a card for the occasion?
The Great Traffic Jam of China: China does everything in epic proportions, from walls to traffic congestion?
If you could take one pill for either happiness, beauty, or intelligence which pill would you take?
If everything is said to taste like chicken, why don’t McChicken nuggets taste like chicken?
There is a thin line between love and hate, and between alimony and all-da-money.
If I was to write a book I think it would be called Love in the Time of Porn.
I thought I’ve seen it all, backseat driver, arm chair quarterback, and now behind the spotlight reality celebrity.
Simplified Chinese Characters is an oxymoron.
New national security threat: extremist bed bugs!
Does <3 = less than three?
In a social drinker, I drink while on social networking sites.
I’m too lazy to be obsessive!
All words are made up words!
Secret of Life: Don’t Give Up
You are not your network.
If you can’t make it anywhere you can’t make it nowhere.
WILL DANCE FOR BEATS!
Things that happen to us are not like quick sand. Don’t get stuck in something that happened a long time back.
The best book you can give to any one is a blank sketch book.
At HomeTown Buffet with my home town homies.
If only dreams can go viral.
Feelings have meaning.
Nerdy is the new sexy.
All the advice you ever need: Live well, love much, laugh often, drink plenty of water, go regularly, hate the game not the player, …
Some women, instead of breast implants, should get a brain transplant.
Don’t waste too much time explaining your life to people that are not part of it.
What’s the grosses item on the McD’s menu? The mushroom angus wrap was pretty bad.
I never understood why the show Doctor Who was named that, since the Doctor is a time traveler wouldn’t s better name be Doctor When?
Million Dollar Ideas
Million dollar idea of the day: Motion detector audible buzzer device that acts as a scare crow/pigeon but is not heard by people.
Million dollar idea of the day: they have queen and king size beds, standardize on a new empress mattress size.
Million dollar idea of the day: Install translucent palm tree shaped solar panels at parking lots. It provides shade and generates energy.
Million dollar idea of the day: flavored drink that once frozen in the refrigerator turns into a smoothie/slurpee, no blender required.
Million dollar idea of the day: Wasabi Toothpaste
Million dollar idea of the day: Bling band-aid
It doesn’t really matter of the universe is expanding or shrinking, it matters if your mind is.
In Da Future
In the future, a camera will be considered a weapon.
In the future all forms marriages will be abolish.
In the future, weed will come with the terms of service and user agreement.
In the future, there will be behavior detection officers amongst us monitoring your every move.
In the future, the constitution will be redacted.
In the future, telling someone the time will be considered an insult.
In the future, Facebook and Google will have a thought crime division which will report you to the authorities for pre-crime activities.
In the future, a new car will come with power windows, dashboard cam, 4G/wifi, twitter account, facebook connect, app store, and a keg.
It is said that a man’s home is his castle, in the future a man’s home will be his prison.
In the future, politics will be known as the p-word.
In the future there will be apps for your TV, your car, your clothes, your passport, and your brain.
The future called, said it would call again later.
Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in August 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.
We need to win the hearts and minds of our prison population!
NAFTA’s greatest success has been the drug trade.
On this Labor Day weekend, let’s save the saved and created jobs!
A government back-door to encrypted communications is an oxymoron? It defeats the purpose of having it encrypted!
Politicians need to understand that saying all the right words does not give your platform meaning or purpose.
Why cant a politician answer a simple yes or no question with a simple yes or no?
Everybody knows the expression, mo money mo problems. In politics its, mo elections mo special interests.
Saying that women is a better politician because they are less likely to be corrupt or lead us to war is both ignorant and sexiest.
Money may not buy you love, but it sure can buy plenty of elections!
If only we can offshore and outsource politicians!
Vote for Pedro!
Capitalism is a pyramid scheme.
Mo money mo taxes!
Money is blinding!
There is no such thing as a conspiracy theorist, there are simply conspiracy scientists, much like how climatologist think of themselves.
The revolution will not be televised, it will be fought in your television!
A campaign promise is an oxymoron, much like military intelligence.
Peace in our time just ran out of time.
If you expect a flight to be delayed, is it really delayed or on schedule?
If half the time I am half asleep, how sleepy am I right now?
What does it mean when your boss sends you a job application to the circus? Does it mean he’s willing to be a reference?
If you can’t admit your failure, how will you recognize your successes?
What is the speed of time?
If you are not doing your thing, whose thing are you doing?
Do raisins ever go bad?
Why is it that the drink menu is always larger than the food menu?
Listening to some jammy jams in my pajamin pjs.
Will be waking up at 5AM tomorrow. SMH FML OMG FUK ARG LOL
No ketchup for my nom om om omelet. Epic FML 2.0!
Watching Cops. Piece of advice to perps, if you got baggy pants don’t run from the cops, looks like you in a potato sack race.
Eating some chipotle humus… I know it sounds like a terror organization but this stuff is the bomb.
I <3 California rolls. I wonder, if Texas has sushi rolls how would they taste? I bet they have BBQ tuna and deep fried wasabi.
Which is the greatest show bra of all time? Madonna’s cone bra, Lady Gaga’s fireworks bra, or Katy Perry’s whip cream bra?
I make the choices that bend decisions.
Everything that is remembered, will be forgotten.
From the perspective of the tuna, it doesn’t care if it’s dolphin safe.
It’s after 7PM and still over 100 degrees!!!
Rumors have been known to travel at the speed of sound.
Complaining does not mean cooperating.
Chocolate rain is a great example of a purple cow.
In Da Future
In the future, government jobs will be outsource and off-shored.
In the future, if you ask for your fourth amendment rights, you’ll be considered guilty.
In the future, to vote you have to adhere to a End User License Agreement.
In the future, a happy meal will come with a End User License Agreement.
In the future, we will be asking, which came first the egg or the vaccine?
In the future, you will be able to make a police statement by Twitter, but I would not want the police to follow me on Twitter.