Best Goldman Sachs Elevator Gossip

The best twitter account right now must have to be @GSElevator, which tweets comments overheard in the Goldman Sachs elevators. The account has yet to be verified by the folks of Twitter but it sounds legit. I’m sure the folks at Goldman Sachs are thankful this twitter account doesn’t post things heard in Goldman Sachs bathrooms. Here are some of my recent favorite tweets from @GSElevator.

  • #1: We’re all God’s children. Some of us just deserve a higher allowance.
  • #1: Some chick asked me what I would do with 10 million bucks. I told her I’d wonder where the rest of my money went.
  • Skirt #1: Whenever I get stressed, I go shoe shopping.  [exits]. Suit #1 (to Suit #2): Obviously not for running shoes. 
  • #1: if you have a job where you have to wear a nametag, nobody gives a shit what your name is.
  • #1: The Obama administration has single-handedly revived the layaway industry.
  • #1: Rules are for the obedience of fools, and the guidance of people like us.
  • [classic] #1: Riding the subway reminds me why I am pro-choice.
  • #1: Europe is starting to make African leaders look competent.
  • #1: The fact that most people are too stupid to know how dumb they really are is the fabric holding our society together.
  • #1: Hey fat fuck, I already know what your resolution is.
  • #1: Whenever I see a black guy with my last name, I can’t help but wonder if my family used to own his.
  • #1: She’s only about 3 weeks of anorexia away from looking hot. #2: Maybe 4.
  • 1: Look thru her passport. You can usually tell if the relationship is worth pursuing. (Laughs) 3 stamps, and they all say ‘Cancun.’
  • #1: Obama is aging fast enough for Morgan Freeman to play him in a movie.
  • #1: Groupon… Food stamps for the middle class.
  • #1: Fact. Nearly 50% of all American workers have less than $10k saved for retirement. #2: Fuck. That wouldn’t cover a ski weekend.
  • #1: Either Facebook sucks, or my friends suck.
  • #1: I started winning the day I was conceived.
  • #1: Ronald Reagan always spent Christmas in DC so more Secret Servicemen could spend it with their families. #aloha
  • #1: I love watching Asian guys smell and swirl their wine obnoxiously. And then their faces get all blotchy. Pussies.
  • #1: I’m rich, but not give-up-my-US-passport rich… Yet.
  • #1: I help with the recruiting effort, or as I call it, the Office Beautification Project.
  • [classic] #1: I wish I invested in poverty. It’s up 60% since 2001. #2: We did.
  • #1: She wants the person I am 10% of the time, 100% of the time. #2: That’s you not being you. #EndIt
  • #1: Sending flowers to her office is like a big neon sign to her coworkers saying, “The asshole screwed up again.”
  • #1: If you want a friend, get a dog. If you want a friend with benefits, find some chick who’s in PR.
  • #1: In New York, don’t trust a banker with a pocket square. In London, it’s a pinky ring… And in Asia, don’t fucking trust anyone.
  • MD#1: Every horrible wife starts out as an adorable girlfriend.
  • [classic] #1: My garbage disposal eats better than 98% of the world.
  • #1: If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
  • #1: If I were single and always sober, I wouldn’t need to password lock my iPhone.
  • #1: Can we please stop calling them ‘hipsters’ and go back to calling them ‘pussies?’
  • [classic] #1: The Euro is dead. They’re just bickering over who pays for the funeral.
  • #1: A protester sees my Benz, and wants to rip me out of it. A real man sees my car, and wants to work hard so he can buy it one day.
  • Suit#1 (on cell phone): “Yes… Yes… I know… Yes… Ok, you too… Bye.” [hang ups]. “Jesus Christ, I hope my next wife doesn’t do this.”
  • #1: China is the only country that gets to have towns in just about every city in the world.

Blogmouth Year in Review 2011

The end of the year is a good time to reflect over the last year. 2011 was a water shed year, Osama bin Laden was killed in Pakistan, Occupy Wall Street occupied mostly public parks, the Arab Spring bloomed into bloodshed, US troops pulled out of Iraq after Iraq said so, and much more. All said and done, it was a good year. To help celebrate here are some of my favorite posts from 2011.

Occupy Revolution

Politicalol

Feardom

Pronpaganda

Retweet 2011

Occupy Idiocracy

Early in the movement I was sympathetic to the Occupy Wall Street protesters. I heart felt the sentiments of the 99% and raised my voice against what seemed like excess police force against protesters. But that sentiment has turned because I came to the conclusion that the Occupy Wall Street movement are puppets to the same system they are protesting. These puppet protesters have more bureaucracy on building consensus that I believe they will be in effect as a long term movement to bring about real change. Stated another way, there is no Che Guevara, no Mao Zedong, and definitely no Nelson Mandela amongst the ranks of the propaganda protesters that make up the Occupy Wall Street movement.

The Occupy Wall Street has been co-opted and cowed to believe that their consensus, hand gestures, and mic-check will changed anything. Mahatma Gandhi protested with his body, he and his followers be were beaten and yet they overcame with non violence. No one will overcome anything with mic-check. The whole idea of mic-check is oxymoronic. The reason why the occupiers came up this stupid concept was because the police did not allow them to have bullhorns. LOL. Why don’t the Occupy Wall Street protesters protest for their right to protest with a megaphone or bullhorn?

I still believe that we need real change, but unfortunately I feel the Occupy Wall Street movement has been co-opted to be ineffective to bring about that change.

Retweet November 2011

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in November 2011 such as the ongoing Occupy Wall Street, and the continuing revolutions in the Middle East. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Obamanation

  • President Obama pardons Wall Street turkeys and gives them billion dollar bailouts to stuff themselves.
  • The emperor has no clothes and you have no constitutional rights.
  • Money don’t buy you the presidency, oh wait it does help to outspend other candidates 100 to 1.
  • Barack Obama’s whole extended family and friends occupy the White House.
  • Being president has been the best financial decision made by Bobama.

Got Gov?

  • Speak softly and carry a large fleet of aircraft carriers.
  • The sun never sets on the American covert operations and CIA drone strikes.
  • The US is outsourcing its future.
  • The American dream is an illusion.
  • Occupy Freedom
  • Occupy The American Dream.
  • Free yourself, occupy something.
  • Beware: You may be blatantly illegal.
  • Judges hold grudges

Econemy

  • In a capitalist society, every holiday is celebrated by buying something.
  • No jobs, no future, no soup for you.
  • Humming the Blue Collar Blues.
  • The American Dream is made in China, like pretty much everything else.
  • Money don’t buy you love, but you can sure get a lap dance.
  • More jobs, less filling.

Randumb

  • I’m losing my religion/medication.
  • Sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes I feel like a nap.
  • After Black Friday, Cyber Monday. After Cyber Monday, Broke-ass Wednesday.
  • Keep calm and get over it.
  • My feelings, the undiscovered continent.
  • Forget counting sheep, I count hundreds.
  • Money can’t buy you swag.
  • Money can’t buy you common sense.

In Da Future

  • In the future, someone will be convicted based on their shadow.
  • In the future, not using your real name in G+ or Facebook would be considered identity theft.
  • In the future, there will be an iPhone app that can express your genes.
  • In the future, you will be charged for conspiracy for conspiring with yourself and other multiple personalities.
  • In the future, if you hate yourself you will be charged with a hate crime.

Retweet October 2011

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in October 2011 such as the ongoing Occupy Wall Street, and the continuing revolutions in the Middle East. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Occupy Everything

  • What will make bigger news, mass arrests of protesters or the latest iPhone release rumors? #occcupywallstreet
  • NYPD want to rename #OccupyWallStreet to #OccupyJailCell
  • Epic fail by OPD injuring a veteran/protester. #noflyzone #occupyoakland
  • At the Occupy San Francisco protest I saw a few folks with blue paint in their face, a la Braveheart. Must be to defect face recognition.
  • NYPD entraps and arrest hundreds of protesters and still the media does nothing. The media has sold its free speech for corporate money.
  • Your occupation has been co-opted.
  • We the 99% hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.
  • Police, protecting and serving the shit out of you! #OccupyWallStreet
  • I’m a human being not a commodity. #OccupyWallStreet
  • Due to recent budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. #OccupyWallStreet
  • I can’t afford a lobbyist. #OccupyWallStreet
  • Tear Down This Wall St. #OccupyWallStreet
  • Shoot sperm not bullets. #OccupyWallStreet
  • Wall Street causes depression, government bails them out. People go to jail for protesting government bail out have to bail themselves out.
  • #OccupyEverything
  • #OccupyOakland
  • #OccupySandHillRoad
  • #OccupyInternationalSpaceStation and #OccupyMoonBaseLunaOne
  • #OccupyWorldWideWide
  • #OccupyAllTheThings

Quotes

  • I’m all for leaking when it’s organized. – White House Chief of Staff Bill Daley
  • We don’t need a warrant, we’re ICE, the warrant is coming out of my balls. – US Immigration and Customs Enforcement ICE officer

Got Gov

  • Warning: You may be blatantly illegal.
  • Drone Nation Under God
  • Video and audio recording is just the tip of the iceberg of what police are monitoring, screening, and scanning for in public places.
  • FBI: FaceBook, Inc.
  • To serve, and protect, and crack heads. – Police Department
  • Protests in the streets and bipartisanship in government.

Politricks

  • The next leader of Libya will be in office no less than 12 years, Afghan President Hamid Karzai has already been in office for 8 years.
  • Libya’s NTC is off to a great start by making it’s first act of murder. Gaddafi was taken alive but he has since mysteriously died.

Econemy

  • You don’t close your bank account, the back forecloses on you.
  • If you don’t get it a home you will go get it somewhere else. This is true for corporate taxes and that is why Google is incorporated in Ireland and pays so little taxes.

Propagandon’t

  • The American dream is an illusion.
  • Not every conspiracy is a theory.
  • The news media: if it’s not on a teleprompter or press release they don’t know what to make of the news.
  • There is no such thing as freedom of speech if you don’t speak up.

Questions

  • Are living in the future, or living in the past?
  • Which is worse, a rebel without a cause or a youth without a rebellion?
  • So you think the FBI uses FaceBook’s public developer APIs or internal undocumented APIs?

Retweet September 2011

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in September 2011 such as the ongoing Occupy Wall Street, and the continuing revolutions in the Middle East. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Occupy Everything

  • You are either a soldier or you have been sold out? #occcupywallstreet
  • Protests in the streets and bipartisanship in government.
  • Power to the 99%!
  • I guess #OccupyWallStreet protesters are terrorists because the NYPD Counter Terrorism unit is in full force.
  • #OccupyInternationalSpaceStation and #OccupyMoonBaseLunaOne
  • #OccupyWorldWideWide
  • #OccupyAllTheThings
  • Anthony Bologna is the Hosni Mubarak of #OccupyWallStreet.
  • Democracy is not a spectator sport. #OccupyWallStreet
  • There will be blood. #FalseFlag #OccupyWallStreet
  • NYPD want to rename #OccupyWallStreet to #OccupyJailCell
  • Wall Street causes economic depression, government bails them out. People go to jail for protesting government bail out but have to bail themselves out.
  • Police, protecting and serving the shit out of you! #OccupyWallStreet
  • I’m a human being not a commodity. #OccupyWallStreet
  • Due to recent budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. #OccupyWallStreet
  • I can’t afford a lobbyist. #OccupyWallStreet
  • Tear Down This Wall St. #OccupyWallStreet
  • Shoot sperm not bullets. #OccupyWallStreet

Got Gov?

  • I thought the FBI has better things than to help celebrities with their naked pictures.
  • If you elect any monkey to the presidency, democrat or republican, nothing would have change either way?
  • The federal government is not America!
  • Drone Nation Under God
  • Video and audio recording is just the tip of the iceberg of what police are monitoring, screening, and scanning for in public places.
  • New reality, the US kills its own citizens with or without due process (Anwar al-Awlaki), with or without evidence (Troy Davis).
  • DOJ paid $16 for a muffin, I wonder how much they pay for a hooker.
  • Government spending: $16 muffins, $8 coffee, $435 claw hammers, $640 toilet seat, $7k coffee makers, $8 million drupal websites…
  • TSA Choice: Molestation or Radiation

Quote

  • None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. – Goethe
  • We still have racism, God knows, but it so different now, it’s so much better. – Al Gore

Obamanation

  • Being president has been the best financial decision made by Bobama. #TheOnePercent
  • Shake it up, stop complaining, stop grumbling, stop crying, stop stealing, stop smacking, stop crackalacking, stop pimping. – President Obama

Econemy

  • Convenience fees aren’t so convenient.
  • Greece had it better when it was under the boot of the Ottoman Empire than now that it is under the thumb of the EU.
  • Solyndra is the green energy Enron.

Propagandon’t

  • Freedom of choice is no freedom is there is no choice.
  • This seems accurate and specific, msnbc is reporting “Satellite expected to re-enter over Canada or Africa by Saturday or Sunday”
  • The news media: if it’s not on a teleprompter or press release they don’t know what to make of real news.
  • The news is another word for PR.
  • The network news are as bad about forecasting terror attacks as they are about hurricanes.

Question

  • If light travels faster than the speed of light does it time travel?
  • Which is worse, a rebel without a cause or a youth without a rebellion?
  • So you think the FBI uses FaceBook’s public developer APIs or internal undocumented APIs?

Randumb

  • Love is indivisible and innumerable.
  • Swag life.
  • I’m watching What Would You Do? I would tweet about it.
  • We are the future unless you are living in the past.
  • Nothing is a surprise when you are a time traveling psychic.
  • My favorite section at the super market is the Mexican aisle, where else would you find “snack style pickled pork skins.”
  • In an alternative universe, Michael Bay is a demolition engineer.
  • Life is an adventure, pack accordingly.
  • Jay-Z should sample Safety Dance.
  • Tired. Sleepy. Hungry.
  • Watching Irene and The City. This shit storm is boring.
  • Power to the tweeple.
  • The future is cyclical and maniacal.
  • Time is telescoping.
  • And then God said, “Let there be electromagnetic radiation” and there was wave-particle photons.
  • There is no such thing as freedom of speech if you don’t speak up.
  • I make protest signs using baseball bats, nails, and cardboard paper.
  • Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chatter Chowder

In Da Future

  • In the future, someone will be convicted based on their shadow.
  • In the future, the police will run you over with their scooter then arrest you for assaulting a police officer and damaging police property.
  • In the future, not using your real name in G+ or Facebook would be considered identity theft.
  • In the future, illegal alien robots will steal your job.
  • In the future justice will be outlawed.
  • In the future, you’ll be able to buy a dishwasher with zero percent down and now taxes with free delivery on Patriot Day.

You Are Being Occupied

Protesters are not occupying Wall Street, at best they are occupying a public park several blocks away from Wall Street. The protesters themselves are occupied, they are sounded by agent provocateurs, enforcement officers from several dozens of local, state, and federal agencies, they’ve been infiltrated by plain clothes police and operatives, they are arrested at the whims of police, beat women down and arrest them for resisting arrest, run over legal observers, they are entrapped by the hundreds into walking in the middle of a bridge only to be arrested by walking on the bridge. The Occupy Wall Street protesters are not occupying anything, they themselves are occupied.

I Am The 99%

One of they rallying cry of the Occupy Wall Street movement is “We are the 99%.” People are taking that message to online communities such as Reddit. For example, on the popular image subreddit pics people are posting images of handwritten “I Am The 99” stories. Some of them are incredibly touching and immensely moving.

Here are some links to more…

I AM THE 99

I AM THE 99