In Capitalist America

I find the In Soviet Russia jokes really funny. If you are not familiar with these, here is classic example.

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, Party always find you!

Recently someone posted the following question on reddit which spurred over a thousand comments: Do Russians have “In Capitalist America” jokes? Here are some of the In Capitalist America jokes from that thread of comments.

  • In capitalist America, government law violates you!
  • In capitalist America, home leaves you!
  • In capitalist America, Corporations buy you!
  • In capitalist America, your wallet owns you!
  • In capitalist America, corporations regulate you!
  • In capitalist America capitalist violates law, government and you!
  • In socialist America, broke bums get mad when others achieve success.
  • In capitalist America, corporations create the laws.
  • In capitalist America, home leaves you!
  • In capitalist America, poor feeds you!
  • In capitalist America, bunker busting bombs discover oil.
  • In capitalist America, the capital is not in America.
  • In capitalist America, the capitalists are not American.
  • In capitalist America, money gets to vote too.

LOL Hitler

The meaning of symbols change, sometimes from a religious meaning to one synonymous with hatred, such as the swastika. In recent history, the swastika was used as a symbol for Hitler’s Third Reich, under whose emblem an approximate six million Jews, Poles, Gypsies, and other were exterminated. Originally the swastika was not a symbol of hate or murder, it was a religious symbol used by different peoples at different times going back to early civilizations. It is still used today in Hindu homes as a religious symbol, not much unlike the Christian cross or the Jewish star of David. The swastika, again is going through a metamorphosis transformation, especially as the Anti-Defamation League has downgraded the swastika as a Jewish hate symbol. The swastika is still considered a symbol of hate, but not one that specifically targets Jews, it is has broaden it’s horizon to other minorities so to speak.

But the swastika is not the only Nazi symbol that is going through a similar change in meaning, Hitler himself is getting a PR make over. During World Ware II, Hitler was portrayed in American propaganda posters as an tyrannical ape, evil incarnate, or a diabolical villain. In 2005 Prince Harry of Wales has been photograph wearing a Halloween costume of a Nazi soldier. Socialite Paris Hilton was seen doing what seemed like a Nazi salute at a club in 2010. By no means would I ever consider Prince Harry or Paris Hilton as Nazi sympathizers so people are left with the question, why did they behave as such?

There is a growing number of viral internet memes that juxtapose Hitler and something considered cute, like kittens. There is a website devoted to Cats that Look Like Hitler. The website has all sorts of pictures with whose hair color make it resemble the Fuhrer. Another internet meme is that of a little kid dressed up as Hitler himself holding a near empty glass of orange juice with the LOL caption that reads I HAVE ELIMINATED ALL THE JUICE. Another popular Hitler viral meme is to take the clip from the movie The Downfall where Hitler throws a tantrum and dub it in English about some other current event such as the BP oil spill.

I Have Eliminated All The Juice

I Have Eliminated All The Juice

Is Hitler funny? I don’t think Hitler would have doing well in The Last Comic Standing but many are remixing a dark sense of humor with elements of the Third Reich. The swastika, the Nazi symbol, and even Hitler himself are being transformed via viral internet memes to a degree that even the Anti-Defamation League might one day even downgrade Hitler himself as a Jewish hate symbol.

Favorite Tweets January 2010

There are some funny people on Twitter. Whenever I find a funny, witty, or thought provoking I usually retweet it and favorite it. Here is a small collection of recent tweets that stoop out to me.

  • @Twiggy185: people often say that motivation doesn’t last. well neither does bathing that’s y we recommend it daily
  • @wafflesgirls: the sun is god’s ninja star
  • @brooksbayne: little people have their own gnomenclature
  • @jeffcannata: I wish I had a way to find out which song has been stuck in my head most times in my lIfe.
  • @peterc: OH: Can vegans eat animal crackers?
  • @jeffreytmoore: too many things tied together – #LinkedIn, #Twitter, #Facebook #FourSquare – social media overload!!!!!
  • @davenavarro6767: Wearing only black means never having to separate your laundry.
  • @gabbycat: Dear laundry, just go do yourself!
  • @lecitykitty: I write emotional algebra.
  • @zeldman: The ends justify the memes.

One Tweet Breakup

Here is a collection of humorous tweets from the recent trending hashtag #1tweetbreakup.

  • @SaafirJ: #1tweetbreakup I found a man who can tweeet 150 characters..
  • @Maestro: #1tweetbreakup i’m tired of being followed. i need myspace
  • @clstilwell: #1tweetbreakup You’re a Twitter whore & I don’t want any sloppy 389,896 th’s
  • @IsaacHayes3: #1tweetbreakup and I won’t need all 140 characters cause woman I just found out you slept with 140 characters! Done.
  • @BKcirca1989: #1tweetbreakup you mistweeted me
  • @Hard88: #1tweetbreakup You don’t think I’m a trending topic. I’m through with you.
  • @Yimisia: #1TweetBreakUp I deserve somebody that will tweet me right.
  • @Yimisia: #1TweetBreakUp I need space… on my timeline.
  • @austriasian: #1TweetBreakUp i feel like i need to follow other people, will still tweet each other right?
  • @reosnipes_MOMS: #1tweetbreakup i cant do this anymore, im unfollowing you
  • @WriteLilMonster: #1tweetbreakup i saw you @replying all them ppl & flirting, dont lie
  • @iSpeakLife2u: #1tweetbreakup she just couldn’t tweet me right, so I had to end it…smh
  • @Missitalyxox: #1tweetbreakup you stole all my followers..we are thru!
  • @ruckermusic: #1tweetbreakup: I think we should follow other people lol
  • @uuTellMeWhy: #1tweetbreakup i’m following someone else.
  • @AudiFarizan: #1tweetbreakup I think it’s more than 140 character to write it down
  • @LilMzSexAppeal: #1tweetbreakup Its not you….its your tweets
  • @501_Kevo: #1tweetbreakup relationships wass for facebook, we on twitter now gotta move on.
  • @sha_asshole: #1tweetBreakUP ima not a playa i jst tweet a lot
  • @OfficialNiko: #1tweetbreakup I think it’s time we follow other people. .

Worst Lies

Here is a collection of humorous tweets from the recent trending hashtag #worstlies.

  • @rjay2hot4u: #worstlies I tried callin u back but kept goin strait 2 ur voicemail
  • @O_Marks_Da_Spot #worstlies I’ll always be here for you…even if you serving a 30 year prison bid
  • @mysone: #worstlies – I aint that type of girl, N never did that before
  • @MrSuperJay: “I have nothing to Lie to You about..” Honestly just heard this one. #worstlies
  • @mz_frenchie: #worstlies Its not you….its me..( Lies..its definitely you lol )
  • @georgie_vip: #worstlies Looks don’t matter.
  • @ShaneEMiller: #worstlies I forgot my wallet at the house, can u spot me, I’ll get u next time!
  • @feyisolaa: #worstlies i was drunk
  • @gscottking: #worstlies I Have Indian and Trinidadian in me, i got good hair —#CMON NO U DONT
  • @fierce_native: #worstlies He’s just my friend.
  • @ConKreteDoll: #worstlies ive never done that
  • @SB_jad0re: RT @RAVISHINGtai: #worstlies ill never make u cry
  • @bowx23: #worstlies I never had sexual relations with that woman!
  • @DjHypa: RT @ShaunieLeigh818 #worstlies IMA PAY U BACK WHEN I GET MY TAX RETURN CHECK
  • @iL8on: #WorstLies I didn’t get your text.
  • @gorgeousSHANTI: #worstlies I’m not white I’m german
  • @TiffanyNicole08: #worstlies size doesn’t matter…….:/
  • @alienamedROXY: #worstlies i dont mess with my baby momma, she just be over here because of my child.
  • @DJALLSTAR: #worstlies he just my friend on Twitter I don’t know him. #checkherdm asap!!
  • @jrickz: RT @brikasha: #worstlies i was JUST about to call you, but you called first
  • @THANKmeLAT3R: #worstlies I’m on my way
  • @yooitzkc: “My dog ate my homework”. #worstlies
  • @ChiNichole: #worstlies “thats my cousin”
  • @TroubleGod: #Worstlies yea i stay wit my parents but they live wit me #Wheretheydothatat
  • @Topmodeltiff: #WorstLies “im jus tryna get 2 kno u ma”….im not stupid nigga u jus tryna get 2kno my friend name vagina #curve duke lol
  • @DjBlakWidow24: #worstlies ” she came up on me…..I aint kiss her….she kiss me “
  • @tooSKYhigh: #worstlies “I’m not drunk, I know exactly what I’m doing”
  • @cutenconvinced: #worstlies : “imam just stick the head in”.
  • @June_CaliBred: #worstlies we’re just friends
  • @MishGoddess: #WorstLies – I don’t need his money, I got my own shit.
  • @Blkberryaddic “I am in the process of getting a divorce.” #worstlies

The Pre-Prenuptial

A prenuptial is simply not enough, I feel there is a legitimate need for a pre-prenuptial agreement. Typically a prenuptial states what the women is entitled after a divorce. A pre-prenuptial outlines what a husband is entitled after marriage.

Sorry Bow Wow

I love Twitter Trends. One of my favorite was the backlash of Unfollow Diddy back in May, 2009. Recently, Bow Wow was trending on Twitter under the hashtag #sorrybowwow.

  • @j_keys_85: #sorrybowwow but did u buy ur rhyming skills at toys-r-us? lol
  • @nailprincess1: #sorrybowwow you a paper thug
  • @WillieBman: #sorrybowwow clubs don’t serve a glass of warm milk for ya!
  • @mjames4040: #sorrybowwow that yoda is taller than you
  • @imfrombrooklyn: #sorrybowwow YOU are the weakest link, GOODBYE!!
  • @richyungflashy: #sorrybowwow You can’t be takin seriously when you sit down and your feet swing
  • @S3SHA: Thank u for choosing unique auto but #sorrybowwow it’s against the law 2 install carseats in the driver seat!
  • @S3STARLO: #sorrybowwow its not our fault ya moms throwin ya 28th bday bash at chucky cheeses lmaooooooooo
  • @myfabolouslife: #sorrybowwow Ur the child star of hip hop.. Ure like Webster, Gary Coleman..
  • @myfabolouslife: #sorrybowwow we don’t hav sippy cups at the club!
  • @donabiola: #postsecret ciara left you cos, even if you used your whole body, you still reach the bottom #sorrybowwow
  • @MsGiGi00: #sorrybowwow but aren’t you like four? You still got similac on your breath….sitcho ass down!
  • @youngfoch: #sorrybowwow but your boss Lil Wayne was on Fabs album and Lil Wanye was on his….neither will be on your next CD
  • @BoyYb: #sorrybowwow but you will never be mentioned for music mondays…
  • @KamiKaze1911: #sorrybowwow kids use your cds as ninja stars on halloween
  • @SouletryKid: #sorrybowwow but if u jumped in a bucket of blue paint I would swear u were a smurf… (LOL)
  • @Jdashmajesty: #sorrybowwow your career is heading in so many direction and still none of them are looking up