Obama’s October Surprise

I’ll be surprised if there is no October surprise this election year. I could set an office pool and make some money of possible. Here is a short list of possible October surprise scenarios that the Obama campaign night pull.

  • Obama will drone a top al-Qaeda insurgent, like Osama’s former cook.
  • Obama will reveal that he has had an evolving relationship with George Clooney.
  • Obama will declare a no fly zone over Syria.
  • Obama will leak classified national security intel that zombies are real.
  • Obama will declassify alien technology housed in Area 51.

Retweet May 2012

In this post I’ll be reblogging some retweets from the past month broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events such as the upcoming general election, Obama economics, and Romney’s Amercia. Follow the conversation at xwoop and lolprez.

Obamanation

  • I wonder if President Obama will drone someone for me if I give a campaign donation. It would be a better prize than dinner with Clooney.
  • Some call it Flip Flop, Obama calls it Evolution.
  • Obama’s New Campaign Promise: Capital punishment by lethal droning.
  • Obama wasn’t born in Hawaii or Kenya, he was born in Ferenginar.
  • When a Nobel Peace Price winner drones children, clearly there is something wrong with our concept of peace.
  • Is President Obama in the White House closet?
  • President Obama comes out of the closet… about how he feels about gays. #vote #gay
  • Prior to being President, Obama created zero jobs and zero economic value. And it’s debatable what he’s done since becoming president.
  • The American dream used to be making it as a self made man, today the American dream according to Obama is just getting by.
  • Since Obama took office, the number of Americans that have renounced their US citizenship has increased by more than 7 times.
  • Instead of raffling a $40k/plate dinner at George Clooney’s house President Obama should have raffled a job paying at least that much a year.
  • The second easiest thing Obama has done is order the death of Osama. The easiest thing he has done is take all the credit.
  • In this election, Obama will get more Facebook likes than votes.
  • @BarackObama doesn’t realize we are still in a recession. When Obama took office he blamed Bush, now he blames Romney. #obamanomics
  • Obama never ran a business, had to manage a balance sheet, or created a new job. Obama’s economics is based on debt. #obamanomics
  • @BarackObama do you have a bumper sticker for a heterosexual weed smoking 2nd amendment toting gold standard big pimping America fuck-yeah individual?
  • I’m starting to believe that the Obama campaign has no concept of how jobs work. These guys seem like they’ve never worked a day.
  • Obama is charging $40k a plate to have dinner with him and George Clooney, do you think he cares what you are having for dinner? #elite

Got Gov?

  • Operation Fast and Furious is the Leave No Drug Cartel Behind program.
  • The reason why the government wants to try you with a jury of your peers is that they government thinks that you and your peers are stupid.
  • The whole of the US government is a giant web of conspiracies.
  • One Nation Under Drones
  • NYPD’s stop-and-frisk based on “reasonable suspicion” go against the 4th amendments’ unreasonable searches and seizures.
  • I am not afraid of some thief holding me up, but of the police patting me down.
  • You used to be innocent until proven guilty, now you are guilty if reasonable suspicious.
  • If the government was a publicly traded company, it would be shutdown.
  • The US is foiling its own terror plots.

Politricks

  • Mitt Romney’s dad was born in Mexico… Which means that Mitt can and may have a Mexican passport and is of Mexican decent.
  • Under a @MittRomney presidency his own dad, who was born in Mexico, would not had been able to emigrate here.
  • In fact, I think that @MittRomney is an anchor baby. We should double check his birth certificate.
  • Next to the oldest profession is politician.
  • The reason why presidential candidates reach out to the youth vote is that the youth have few memories of past campaign promises.
  • Follow the kickbacks.
  • What state is Senator Lieberman from? Connecticut or Israel?
  • Cash is king and it gets presidents elected.

Econemy

  • Banks are playing bailout musical chairs.
  • People may not understand the meaning of mortgage… It is French for “death contract.”
  • If there is such a thing as peak oil then there is going to be peak civilization.
  • One nation under austerity.
  • To big too fail never stopped anybody from failing… The bigger they are the harder they fall.
  • When financial groups run and manage health insurance companies and hospitals we are all screwed.
  • There are more lawyers and financial analysts making health coverage decisions than doctors and nurses.
  • Wall Street bankers are not too big to fail, they make errors and fail all the time. The American people are too docile to do anything about it.
  • All of the world’s oil belongs to us, and as such we are willing pay for it but it nevertheless belongs to us.
  • Greed is a weapon of mass destruction.
  • Private prison system is the beginning of modern and legalized slave trade.
  • Capitalism did not win out communism, greed did.
  • The Real Buffett Rule: I trust Warren Buffett to know his best to spend his money more than I trust Obama to spend mine.
  • Where’s the beef, where’s the jobs. It’s the economy, stupid. Read my lips, no more naked body scanners.
  • I have some neighbors that have like six cars… The DMV should charge a incremental percent for each additional car in a household.

Propagandon’t

  • Does CNN stand for Celebrity No News?!
  • The free press has been co-opted.
  • The whole idea of a free speech zone violates, rapes, and leaves for dead the unalienable and universal human right of free speech.
  • We are all brainwashed, it’s called the education system.
  • Remember how the media keep reporting that everyone was going to die because of the swine flu. That was classic.
  • 99% = We The People
  • We will not be serving continental breakfast or providing free wi-fi at the revolution.
  • If we’re at peak oil does that mean we’ve also reached peak civilization?
  • Big money always trumps good science.

War Racket

  • US Syria Plan: Observer -> Peace Keeper -> Consultant -> No Fly Zone -> Marines -> Soldiers -> Mercenaries -> Oil Company Men -> Oil Workers
  • There will be more police than athletes at the London 2012 Olympics.
  • One Nation Under War: we have a war on terror, war on the rich, war on drugs, war on pacifists, war on women, …
  • Oil is not infinite, and the only way to get American interventionists out of a country is for that country to not have any oil left.
  • Oil is great!
  • All your oil belongs to us.
  • Was Dear John written by the War Department?
  • There are no such things as a random bullet.
  • If NASA would have found oil instead of water in Mars we would already had colonized it.

Randumb

  • Gay marriage is like a Boca Burger.
  • Hipsters are the swinger vote.
  • The Zoloft Defense: Assault someone under the influence of Zoloft and you may get out of jail free.
  • The Secret: Positive thinking and a AK-47 can change the world.
  • A lot of human morality is based on jealousy.
  • The Bachelorette should be renamed to The Douchebags.
  • Apparently there is no such thing as a dumb question or a dumb tweet.
  • Inside every dream wedding is a nightmare divorce.
  • What is the short abbreviated name for the Comedy Awards? The Commies?
  • There is no ideology only ego.
  • There is nothing royal about the royal family.

In Da Future

  • In the future, there will be little difference between a known journalist and known terrorist.
  • In the future, you’ll pay taxes at the local, state, federal, and united nations level.
  • In the future, there will be a vaccine to cure you of your humanity.
  • In the future, the White House counsel will declare the Supreme Court unconstitutional.

Amercia

  • The national food in #Amercia must be the #potatoe.
  • Romney thinks we live in #Amercia and Obama thinks Westminster Abbey is in a time bubble in 2008.
  • I think Romney will win the presidency in #Amercia.
  • Romney doesn’t only misspell #Amercia but also his own name to #Rmoney.
  • Romney app didn’t misspell America… He was sending code indicating who really runs AmerCIA.

Democracy or Donationcracy

We are lying to ourselves when we say that we live in a free democracy. It is estimated that candidates raised in excess of $1.6 billion in the presidential election in 2008. For the 2012 elections, political pundits estimate that candidates will raise as much as $2 billion. In 2008, Obama spent $10.94/vote and McCain spent $5.78. When candidates raise and spend this much money, no ones vote is free. It is the case that usually the candidates that raises the most money wins the most votes. In 2008, then Senator Obama raised a little over two times that raised by Senator McCain. As of March, President Obama had raised more than twice that of Governor Romney.

In the end, elections are run by the bottom line and the money raised. The more money a candidate has in his war chest the more they can spend in marketing. Even though every voter has a vote, the more an election costs the more every voter is disenfranchised from the political system. When a large portion of a campaign is spent attracting large donors in %50k/plate dinners the typical voter is going to get left out of the political system.

America’s Open Secrets

Most politicians have skeletons in their closets, you almost have to be a successful politicians. Politicians don’t only know where the bodies are buried, they often order them buried. To win elections you need money and money don’t come cheap. Politicians will debate each other on foreign policies, tax increases, education cuts but like the mafia, they don’t snitch on each other. The media is a complicit to this, the media in a sense is the reference, dirty and has money riding on the results and as such it chooses not to question or address certain aspects of a politician’s life. For example, just about everyone close to JFK’s administration knew about his philandering ways but no one mentioned it. That is why I was surprised when the media took up the debate of President Obama’s birth certificate. I mean, there are real issues facing America and the late night local news does not mention these, but they sure did spend a lot of time alluding to the birthplace of President Obama. This made me think, what other open secrets is the media keeping? What other issues are the media choosing to neglect for soft piece on the royal wedding?

Intelligence

  • The Chinese are actively hacking and infiltrating American networks.
  • Chinese intelligence has infiltrated many top companies and research facilities.
  • China has a spy ring much larger than the uncovered Russian spy ring of 2010.
  • China has acquired most of our stealth and next generation military technology.
  • Berkley is a hot bed of intelligence recruiting.
  • No American in their right mind goes hiking along the North Korean or Iranian border.

Politicians

  • Obama was raised Muslim.
  • Janet Napolitano is gay.
  • Joe Biden is either the only honest guy in Washington or an idiot.
  • Timothy Geithner didn’t pay his taxes for years.
  • The Clinton Bush Haiti Fund has only given the Haitian a fraction of the money it collected.

Osama

  • Everyone in the intelligence community knew Osama was in Pakistan for years.
  • President Obama step outside the the law and international treaties to assassinate Osama.
  • Osama was assassinated, this was a mafia style shot in the head murder.
  • Osama was killed only because he no longer useful for to the government.

Election 2012

  • President Obama is American’s first black token president.
  • Norman Freeman, playing a black president in Deep Impact, did as much to get Obama elected as he did for himself as a US senator.
  • President Obama will win the 2012 elections.
  • President Obama will raise nearly a billion dollars in donations, a large portion of which are untraceable ‘internet donations.’
  • Republicans know they can’t win.