There are some funny people on Twitter. Whenever I find a funny, witty, or thought provoking I usually retweet it and favorite it. Here is a small collection of recent tweets that stoop out to me.

• @markos: Obama said the country was founded on compromise? What was that, the Revolutionary Compromise?
• @5tevenw: The best gift you can give is a hug: 1 size fits all and nobody ever minds if you return it!!
• @af: Best iPhone signature I’ve ever seen: “this msg is shrt bcuz it was sent frm my stupid iphone 4g which I hate but feel the need 2 have.”
• @DamnItsTrue: Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns -> most women’s problems begin with men.
• @bazecraze: Mom asked me today how to sign up for Twitter. So I told her it was $12.99 a month. Crisis averted.
• @danmartell: “Money grows on the tree of persistence” Japanese Proverb
• @swedal: Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?
• @Ictericia: La ciudad es una composición de ventanas.
• @youloveB: Love my women with high heels & high standards
• @renogood: Demi’s in rehab, Miley’s smoking salvia, Zac Efron & Vanessa Hudgens have split. Disney has more drama than Jersey Shore.
• @techknow: I am an idea artist, making you think is my master piece.
• @dianadiggity: Take a shower, your attitude stinks.
• @OmgAnnalie: As soon as I stop wanting something, I get it. What’s the point of that?
• @PF_TELLUGLYLIES: only time will tell how long i can wait
• @melizeche: If Assange was in China doing the same thing, the West would have called him a dissident and given him a Nobel prize #freeassange
• @512: I wish I could Ctrl+Alt+Delete out of everything.
• @Askmeifigaf: Whats the difference between gorgeous, beautiful and sexy?
• @davepell: Groupon seems to be the one company in their universe NOT willing to take a discount.
• @bobmcwhirter: I’m now corporately ethical and compliant. I have the certificates to prove it. I’d show them to you, but they’re trade secrets.
• @MissElleCee: Just received a 6 page email from my sister with our NYE itinerary. Hopefully I will be drunk for pages 2-6 #nutjob
• @BrettGreene: Best. Relationship Status. Ever. Just read: “I’m in a relationship w/ Facebook …and it’s complicated.”
• @shwood: The most disquieting aspect of the Kinect occurs at 30 seconds after booting, when it looks up and down to size you up. #HAL9000
• @lowhanyew: More contentment; less resentment.
• @trinitysaij: Nothing says Xmas more than a star wars marathon on spike tv
• @shauninman: Video Skyping with in-laws is a comedy of computer errors.
• @jacksonh: Damn, was hoping santa would do the dishes.
• @RaiselM: Sweden celebrates Christmas on the 24th. They need the extra day to assemble their gifts from IKEA.
• @jdickerson: State of Union address will be after visit by Chinese President Hu Jintao. Makes sense: give annual report after meeting with top investor.
• @wilshipley: Dear HP: Printing to one of your stupid printers shouldn’t involve you installing new fucking kernel drivers.
• @noreaga: Most people forget that they are forgetful