Not A Kill List, But I Won’t Minding If These People Died

Unlike President Obama, I don’t have a kill list.  In fact, I don’t even believe in capital punishment.  That said I do think that there are some people that offer very little value to the embitterment of the human race. World wide, there are an estimated 7 billion people and sometimes it feels that at least least 2 billion of them are douchebags. Here is a short list of idiots, bots, clones, drones, bullies, trolls, elitist, bourgeoisie, and douchebags that I would not mind if they just drop dead from some natural cause… Or freak accident.

  • Brad Pitt
  • Anne Hathaway
  • Justin Bieber
  • Tyler, the Creator
  • Janelle Monae
  • Cenk Uygur, the old creeper at The Young Turks
  • Bill Nye, the Science Guy
  • Neil DeGrasse
  • Quvenzhane Wallis
  • George Clooney
  • The Kardashians including Kayne West
  • Jaden and Willow Smith
  • Marco Rubio
  • Rachel Maddow
  • Adria Richards
  • Anil Dash
  • Ugly and Bitter People
  • All Hipsters
  • Media Whores
  • Social Media Consultants
  • Faux Geeks and Wannabe Nerds
  • People with hidden agendas
  • The Governor on The Walking Dead
  • Anyone that gets high off their own supply
  • Technology evangelists and developer relations program managers that don’t know how to program
  • Self proclaim entrepreneurs that sell $1,000 membership courses on entrepreneurship online using a WordPress blog
  • Life style startup founders that use Ruby on Rails to develop time tracking apps.
  • Celebrities that name their kids dumb shit like Blue Ivy Vodka, Suri Curry, Prince Pineapple, Egypt Kenya Morocco Zimbabwe, Brooklyn Krypton, Alpha Alef, Bomber Hellfire, Freedom Fries, Liberty Licorice, etc.
  • Meta-bullies, bullies that bully bullies

The Puppyfication of America

I recently adopted a new puppy, a toy poodle which I have named Rufus. Rufus is the most adorable puppy, playful, warmhearted, and already my best friend. Even though I am in love with my puppy I’ve realized that he is really derpy and possibly not the smartest puppy in the pound. Looking at my toy poodle it is hard to imagine that he is a descendant of the gray wolf. Dogs were domesticated from wolves some 15,000 years ago. Wild wolves are great hunters, intelligent beasts, designed my nature to survived in the toughest environments. My puppy wouldn’t last a week without his kibble ‘n bits. But it’s not my puppy’s fault, the whole process of domestication makes animals dumber than their wild counterparts. Domestication de-evolves animals in an unnatural selective way into cute puppies, tasty beef, and dumb Americans.

The process of puppyfication, or domestication, does not only occur on animals whose traits we select and breed for, it is also affecting the American populace. American sensibilities and ideals are themselves changing by external factors such as our current education system and political correctness which is making Americans dumber. The United States was founded on the ideals of personal freedoms and liberties but now you can’t go visit grandma in Idaho without having your balls manhandled or your butt crack scanned using radiation. After the Civil War, the United States was by and large a pacifist nation and since World War II we haven’t seen a decade without being involved in a military conflict. During the Cold War, we were told that the communists are evil because they spy on their neighbors and now the Department of Homeland Security uses that same tactic in their “If you see something, say something” program. For generations, the American Dream was that if you work hard enough you can achieve anything, now it seems that the American Dream has been deferred to possibly sending your kids to college and put a little away for retirement.

I don’t have a time machine, but I can guarantee you that if we could travel back in time and talk to the founding fathers and describe to them what American has become that they would have surrendered their fight for independence because American independence is fast becoming a myth. George Washington would never have approved a Department of Homeland Security or Transportation Security Agency. Thomas Jefferson would not have condoned the Patriot Act or the Nation Defense Authorization Act. Abraham Lincoln would not have kept America at war and the Guantanamo Bay Detention Camp opened for this long. The whole of the American Civil War lasted for four years, we’ve been in the current War on Terror for over ten years, and War of Drugs for over twenty-five years. We have active and covert military campaigns and war theaters across the Muslim world including Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia, Pakistan, Iran, Syria, and others. Teddy Roosevelt would not install surveillance equipment in secret rooms in telecommunication companies, place GPS tracking devices in peoples cars, grant millions of wiretapping requests, and sweep civil liberties under the rug. Dwight Eisenhower would not have made a complicit deal with the military-industrial-financial complex and bail out banks instead of people, and police the population with military-grade drones.

The American public is trading in personal liberties for what the government says is public security. As this change is in process, the American people don’t seem to care. In fact, it seems that we the people care more about American Idol than presidential elections.

I don’t know when the puppyfication, or the homeland domestication, of the American people began. I can also see the difference between the American frontiers people that at great odds and personal danger fought tyranny and settled this country and modern American that settles to have his butt crack radiated when visiting grandma. Just like my toy poodle is breed to be cute and adorable may not resemble it’s wolves ancestors, so do modern Americans grilling in the backyard with drones flying overhead do not resemble the revolutionary heroes that founded this nation.

In Capitalist America

I find the In Soviet Russia jokes really funny. If you are not familiar with these, here is classic example.

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, Party always find you!

Recently someone posted the following question on reddit which spurred over a thousand comments: Do Russians have “In Capitalist America” jokes? Here are some of the In Capitalist America jokes from that thread of comments.

  • In capitalist America, government law violates you!
  • In capitalist America, home leaves you!
  • In capitalist America, Corporations buy you!
  • In capitalist America, your wallet owns you!
  • In capitalist America, corporations regulate you!
  • In capitalist America capitalist violates law, government and you!
  • In socialist America, broke bums get mad when others achieve success.
  • In capitalist America, corporations create the laws.
  • In capitalist America, home leaves you!
  • In capitalist America, poor feeds you!
  • In capitalist America, bunker busting bombs discover oil.
  • In capitalist America, the capital is not in America.
  • In capitalist America, the capitalists are not American.
  • In capitalist America, money gets to vote too.

American Censorship

You will be hard press to find someone in the United States that won’t list the freedom of speech as a fundamental enjoyed by Americans. Unfortunately, in the United States we don’t enjoy the benefits of true freedom of speech. Speech is regulated and restricted in a variety of ways, there is a large and growing things that you can say, or at best shouldn’t say online. But aside from secret federal laws, there is another prevalent form of American censorship that often takes the form of public boycotts.

A good example of modern day American censorship is the case of Miami Marlins coach Ozzie Guillen who was suspended five games for something he said in an interview. He didn’t say any words out of spite or anger or malice, he simply stated his opinion. Unfortunately for Mr. Guillen, his opinion went against that of most people in Miami. In an interview with Time magazine, Guillen is reported as saying that he respects Fidel Castro for staying in power throughout the years in spite of those that want him deposed.

Only in America do you have a dichotomy of having the freedom of speech and yet not being able to say things like the N-word. And now, you can’t use the F-word, J-word, R-word, S-word, and a whole lot of words. You can’t say anything nice about Fidel Castro, or Adolf Hitler. Even saying that Castro has a cool beard and Hitler had a nice mustache will get you a wide range of backlash, especially if you are a public figure.

I know that someone is already taking what I saying out of context, so let me be clear. I am not saying that I like Castro’s beard or policy and by no means am I saying anything nice about Hitler or Stalin or Mao. I am just saying that it is sad that in a country that spent so much in fighting against the oppression that these dictators and tyrants represented we ourselves suppress and censor people for having ideas different than the norm. Worse than Fidel, more horrendous that Hitler, more atrocious than Stalin is group think.

What You Tweet Will Be Held Against You

Two things that most governments don’t get, sarcasm and how the internet works. If you asked me what countries routinely monitor Facebook and Twitter, I would have replied repressive and corrupt governments such as China or Belarus. But recent events reveal that the United States and other first world nations are actively monitoring for dissident not social networking sites.

The FBI is said to be looking to monitor all public information posted on social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter. The FBI put out a request for proposal on a social networking and monitoring application. You have the right to ignore a friend request from the FBI.

Maybe the FBI is lagging behind social media compared to other agencies because already shortly after news broke out about the deportation of two British tourists after they tweeted the following: Free this week, for quick gossip/prep before I go and destroy America?

Tweeting that you going to do anything not nice to America will get you deported and barred from entering the country again. I don’t doubt that in the future, as part of the citizen naturalization process, a social media background check will be conducted before you can be made a citizen.

South Korea has detained a South Korean citizen for posting sarcastic comments and images on Twitter about North Korea and maybe charged for retweeting North Korean propaganda under South Korea’s National Security Law. So tweeting, retweeting, and following a North Korean organization is a national security violation in South Korea!?