Pride and Prejudice

While Obama was delivering his speech at the British Parliament in the United Kingdom, I stumble upon these overly apologetic and hubris tweets by LeVar Burton, better known as the blind guy in Star Trek The Next Generation.

  • I am SO proud of my President in this moment!!! #statesman #worldleader #blackman
  • Historic speech before both Houses of Commons in UK… and he’s killin’ it! RT @macguyinnc Could you clarify as to why?
  • For those who have questioned my comment… I am proud not only because Obama is a black man, but because I am too!!!

As a Buddhist and a scholar, and I know that such hubris, attachment, and blind allegiance to someone based on color, religion, ethnicity has been at the heart of genocide, war, and discrimination. My natural response to blind partisanship is satire and so I tweeted the following.

  • @levarburton I thought you were proud because you are Obama’s mom.
  • @levarburton are you also proud of African despots, dictators, and tyrants?
  • @levarburton I am proud not only because Obama is a rich elitist working for corporate America, but because I am too!!!

Now interestingly enough, the comments made by LeVar Burton came less than a week of an interview on 60 Minutes with Al Sharpton who said outright that he and his National Action Network are not critical of President Obama, as he has been with ever other president, because of color of the President.

I don’t judge the President by the color of his skin but by whether or not he has keep his campaign promises. President Obama promised to get our troops out of Iraq, to close down Gitmo, and fix the broken economy and yet we still have troops in Iraq, prisoners in Gitmo, and Goldman Sachs running Wall Street.

Retweet April 2011

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in April 2011 such as the Royal Wedding, and the ongoing revolutions in the Middle East. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Obamatron

  • If the government shuts down will President Barrack Obama declare himself Sultan Hussein Obama?
  • The Obama 2012 campaign has begun… Obama to deliver speech from Facebook. I hope he will friend me.
  • Did the president just propose to share medical test results with your doctors on Facebook?
  • What is the president rambling about comparing the economy to cars “they still have clutch cars…?” I don’t think he has a drivers license.
  • We are both a nation of immigrants and a nation of laws – Obama
  • President Obama is the ringmaster of the sideshow, carnival, and circus of Obama barkers.
  • One way to prove if President Obama’s birth certificate is real is to look in the back and see if it’s “Made in China.”
  • Obama’s Birth Certificate for President 2012.
  • The fact that there was a birther debate for over two years proves President Obama lack of leadership outside his minions and Obamabots.
  • Real transparency ends the debate.
  • President Obama should just preemptively make available all public records and transcripts. He could just end the debate.
  • President Obama and the Obamabots fuel and seed the birther debate and the “sideshows and carnival barkers.
  • I have a birth certificate therefore I am.
  • Don’t be an Uncle Obama.
  • The name of my autobiography: I, Barry Soetoro
  • Obama promised to end the war in Iraq, but instead he got us involved in a civil war in Libya.
  • President Obama quietly accepted his transparency award from the open government community this week in a closed, undisclosed meeting.

Got Gov?

  • IRS agents don’t carry calculators, they carry guns.
  • Half of congress are trolls the other half are tools.
  • Welcome to the United Slaves of America.
  • Every time the TSA fondles your nuts a terrorist gets his wings.
  • In a transparent government there is no need for FOA requests because the information would already be in the public.
  • Just like real men are secure with themselves to wear pink, real democracies don’t scan the naked bodies of men, women, and children.
  • There is little surprise that Russian police confiscated thousands of books describing Russian police corruption.
  • What percent of China’s economy is based on copying, cloning, knock offs, piracy of American intellectual property?

War Racket

  • America will be in engaged in conflict across the globe for the next twenty years. This is World War III, we just don’t know it.
  • We are in the midst of World War III and we just don’t know it.
  • You can follow the money, or you can follow the oil.
  • Military speeding has besieged the economy.

Pronpaganda

  • Twitter is full of trolls, spooks, bots, and sockpuppets, and social media experts. I just don’t know which is worst to follow.
  • Does the US State Department run social media training camps in the Middle East?
  • Retweet Journalist is to journalism what back seat drivers and air chair quarterbacks are to NASCAR and football, respectively.
  • Dear @CNN, thanks for reporting all day on important news such as the royal wedding and not depressing news such a deadly tornado back home.
  • CNN should rename the network to SNN, Shill News Network.
  • The white house has a green room and a green screen room.

Royal Wedding

  • The royal wedding was a parade of bad teeth and bad hats.
  • The royal wedding is ruining my relationship.
  • The royal family is the biggest bunch of dead beat welfare recipients.
  • The only commentary about the monarchy and royal wedding is that of Thomas Paine.
  • If Price William had to battle for the crown of England as did his inbreeding barbarian ancestors he would end up being the court jester.

Questions

  • Is any employee worth $100 million dollars?
  • How do you monetize the bubble?
  • Why does naturally flavored sparkling water have aspartame?
  • What platform will reach the singularity first?
  • What the hell is Microsoft Project Server 2010 Accounts?
  • Does anyone use the Stickybits app?
  • Is social Google’s Vietnam?
  • Who moved my cheese? Who broke my test?
  • Is the point and shoot camera a thing of the past like film?
  • Is there a four square for time travellers?
  • You think Ansel Adams read his camera’s user guide?
  • Is there a haters convention?
  • Hacker or hustler?
  • Smart phones or spy phones?
  • Is Nicolas Cage the new Mel Gibson?
  • How do you monetize fear?
  • Why don’t we declare war on warmongers?

Quotes

  • What is the ROI of your mom? – @garyvee
  • Creativity is a renewable resource. – Biz Stone
  • The chef doesn’t know the secret in the secret sauce? – Chef Ramsey
  • Clutch cars, do they still have them? – Obama

Randumb

  • I dream in stereophonic sound.
  • Mixed signals: just say no + just do it = just say do it
  • I would love to eat dinosaur flavored Japanese style noodles instead of the chicken ones I am eating now.
  • Remixing ZZZZZzzzzz and dreams.
  • Everybody is a marketter.
  • The name of my autobiography: FML, the story of my life.
  • A pot pie is not what I thought it would be, completely different than pot brownie.
  • The cost and stress of doing your taxes should be tax deductible.
  • In the future everything will taste like aspartame, and not like chicken.
  • Making and microwaving are not the same thing, don’t say on when you mean the other.
  • In business you can patent a business process, porn industry is a large business, why not patent sex moves as a business process.
  • Some guys are better bachelors than they are boyfriends.
  • I love trolls, they are good for the lulz.
  • I have a barcode there for I exist.

Retweet Revolution

  • 1. Start a armed rebellion. 2. Open a central bank. 3. ????? 4. Profit 5. New national anthem.
  • Rock the revolution.
  • Not every rebel force is lead by a Luke Skywalker.
  • Big winner in Libyan Revolution of 2012 is Qatar.
  • Obama promised there wouldn’t be any boots in the ground in Libya, I guess CIA operatives don’t use boots.

Retweet March 2011

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in December 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Obamatron

  • President Barrack Obama to crown himself Sultan Hussein Obama.
  • Would Sultan Hussein Obama intervene in Bahrain, Syria, Yemen, Ivory Coast, Britain?
  • Show me the money, the real unemployment figures, the federal reserves back office deals, and your birth certificate.
  • President Obama sought approval for war and aggression towered Libya in the UN instead of from congress.
  • Obama doesn’t need congress to declare war if he gets his marching orders from a UN resolution.
  • President Obama is a token president.
  • Do as you are told – President Obama

Got Gov?

  • ‘We the people’ has been rewritten to ‘we the lobbyists.’
  • The default policy for government should be freedom not feardom.
  • The president is not above the law of the land.
  • United Slaves of America.
  • If the press cows to government censorship requests, is there really freedom of press?
  • 50% of all Al Queda members are CIA.
  • There is a secret government black op agency known as CIAQ, Central Intelligence Al-Queda.
  • If the government shuts down, I will proclaim myself emperor of these United States, except for Idaho.
  • IRS agents don’t carry calculators, they carry guns.
  • Half of congress are trolls the other half are tools.
  • If Hollywood ran the government, Charlie Sheen would be president, Mel Gibson Vice President, and Lady Gaga would the the Secretary of State, and American Idol judges would run the Supreme Court.
  • Donald Trump should make The Apprentice: Congress Edition
  • This is not a Twitter revolution or Facebook uprising. Was the American Revolution known as a pamphlet uprising?
  • Snooki for Secretary of State.
  • If Apple’s legal team wrote the constitution Jobs would tax you 30% for exercising your rights 2 life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
  • AT&T gives the NSA better service than its customers.
  • AT&T to merge with the NSA, to be called NSAT&T.

Politricks

  • Mossad and Hamas should kiss and make up.
  • If you wand great Paris souvenirs then go to China.
  • Half of the British royal family’s income comes from the revenue and television rights of royal weddings.

War Racket

  • Worst than going to war is going to war with no clear objectives, targets, and command.
  • A tomahawk cruise missile fired hundreds of miles away is an act of war just as much as deploying soldiers.
  • Nothing beats the smell of tomahawk cruise missiles in the air in the morning.
  • Let’s us remember that the colonialism that the new world endured for 500 years was a coalition of the willing.
  • The default setting in US drone’s target system is to seek and destroy any tribal meeting or wedding party.
  • The best defense is a good surface to air defense.
  • We are in an information war and the front line is social media, Twitter, Facebook, blogs, YouTube…
  • Let freedom ring with the ricochet of a bullet.

Social Propaganda

  • Who needs the gestapo when you have Facebook and sockpuppets as friends.
  • There is no better marketing event than a natural disaster or national tragedy.
  • If you condense a cable news network’s broadcast for a 24 hour period for original content you would only get 10 minutes.
  • What need is there for @CNN and other cable news outlet if they show the same few clips from YouTube for 36 hours straight.
  • NY Times or CIA Times?
  • No wonder America has an obesity problem, depending on the time and channel up at 1/4 of commercials are about food, delicious yummy food…

Questions

  • If you were a piece of wood what type of wood would you be?
  • How many presidents can you pick up from a police lineup?
  • Does the FBI have a backdoor in Foursquare and other location base applications?
  • Does Black Water have an air force?
  • Why isn’t Mother Nature on anybodies terror watchlist?
  • How do you protest a ban on protests?
  • What wealthy CEO or Hollywood actor will run for CA governor next?
  • What is more important to you, your reputation or character?
  • If you were a color in the rainbow what shade would you be?
  • How many items do you have in your wishlist?
  • If it’s a party in your mouth, where does the after party move to?
  • How happy is a clam?

Randumb

  • The intelligentsia is stupid.
  • Ideas don’t have an ideology.
  • If you are still in bed, you are only #winning if there are two other people there with you!
  • New survey says that most Americans don’t trust surveys.
  • crouching #tigerblood and hidden #dragonfire.
  • There is no such thing as white collar on white collar crime.
  • The audacity of dope
  • Just because I have a big heart doesn’t mean I have a small brain.
  • There is gold diggers and then there is nickel diggers.
  • I want a unicorn pi~nata!
  • If Michelangelo was alive today, his masterpiece David would be posed as if infront of a mirror taking a picture of himself with an iPhone.
  • I’m a time machine that only goes forward in time at the constant speed of one minute per minute.
  • It’s siesta time somewhere in the world.
  • Me so hungry.
  • This came to me in a dream: DTF FTW
  • I wish I could read in the dark.
  • The end is eh.
  • I think I wanna start a punk rock band, the Naked Body Scanners.

In The Future

  • In the future, the past will become unpredictable.
  • Living in the future is so retro.
  • In the near future smart phones will be free. Phone makers will make their money on app and media sales.
  • In the future, political polls will override, over rule, and out weight the constitution.
  • In the future, autotune will win every category in the Grammy’s.
  • In the future everyone will be a social media expert.

Overheard

  • OH: She took a shower so that she could take a bath.
  • OH: It’s like kissing a cookie.
  • OH: unicorns ain’t gangsta!
  • OH: Your Indian name is Chief Cuts The Cheese.
  • OH: I like my women like I like my burrito, wet and spicy.
  • OH: I ordered a Hawaiian pizza with extra Hawaiian.

Mcdon’t

  • McDonald’s should just come out and make the McCardboard.
  • For St. Patrick’s, McDs has a Shamrock Shake. For Cinco de Mayo they should have a Tequila Shake.
  • Does anyone actually like the Shamrock Shake at McDs?
  • @mcdonalds if I am forced to ask for ketchup and asked to explicitly say how many I need what other cost cutting measures are you doing?
  • Hey @mcdonalds, since when is it policy to not give customers what they want? Why was I denied a caramel and strawberry sundea?

Cookie Cartel

  • The Girl Scouts cookies are sold by unpaid child labor and I am not entirely sure it is dolphin safe.
  • There is nothing “sugar and spice” about the Girl Scouts cookie distribution empire.
  • Girl Scouts have this cookie business locked, it’s like a cookie cartel!

Retweet February 2011

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in December 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Obamatron 3000

  • The salary of a president is $374K, but President Obama made over $5 million last year in 2009.
  • IBM Watson has more personality than President Obama. IBM Watson for president 2012!
  • @barackobama have we invented time travel? Because I thought you were to close Gitmo one year into your term. Maybe your clock runs slow.
  • Lil Wayne would have made a better first black president than Obama.
  • The audacity of dope
  • We got to out build, out innovate, out educate as well as out hustle the rest of the world. – President Obama
  • To win the future you’ve got to bet on debt. – President Obama
  • To win the future you’ve got to bet on black. – President Obama
  • Win The Future By Borrowing From It – President Obama
  • I completely oppose the dictatorship of Mubarak Obama.
  • Within the span of two years we went from “Yes We Can” to “Oh No He Didn’t”

Got Gov?

  • The new world order is of the corporations, by the elites, and for slaves.
  • How do you protest a ban on protests?
  • Warrants? We no need no stinking warrants to read yo email and Facebook account! – FBI
  • An Intelligence Officer in the federal government might make less than $60/year. How intelligent can the guy be to take this job?
  • You know the government is too big when there is a official job tittle for a White House Social Secretary that earns in the 6 figures.
  • All your income are belong to the IRS.
  • You are either a slave of the state or an enemy of the state.
  • The CIA is in the malware and virus writing business, basically they are spook script kiddies.
  • The government has a back door to your high speed router.
  • The feds have seized domain names from individuals, will they next seize Twitter and Facebook accounts?
  • The US finances two sort of organizations dictators and banks.

Politricks

  • There are laws against panhandling, there should be a law against pandering.
  • What former tech CEO will run for governor of California next?
  • If Hollywood ran the government, Charlie Sheen would be president, Mel Gibson Vice President, and Lady Gaga would the the Secretary of State
  • What wealthy CEO or Hollywood actor will run for CA governor next?
  • The land of the free and the home of the brave and the naked body scanners.
  • FBI: Facebook Bureau of Investigations
  • How is it that a government agency will release a computer virus but some kid that guesses a politicians email password gets jail time?
  • The law is not above the law.

Revolutions

  • The way Gaddafi has used war planes and high caliber weapons on civilians you would think he was a general with the IDF.
  • Political protests are sweeping through the Middle East and Wisconsin.
  • Wondering who will be the next dictator of Egypt.
  • The people have spoken and regimes have crumble.
  • First Tunisia, now Egypt, next England!!!
  • Mummy Mubarak to step down!!!
  • Congratulations to the people of Egypt.
  • The will of the people is mightier than the edicts of dictators.
  • Mubarack Obama to step down!!!!
  • If you can tweet you can start a revolution.
  • If the American Revolution would be held today the Federalist Papers would be known as the Facebook Status Updates.
  • The will of the people is always mightier than the will of a dictraitor.
  • Dictators are traitor to their country.
  • No one questions a hanging chad if it’s punched through with a bullet.
  • Some vote with a rigged voting machine, other with cold hard cash, and others with an AK-47.

Econemy

  • Wall Street: The Fourth Branch of government.
  • In cash we trust.
  • Monsanto has figured out how to grow genetically modified money on trees.
  • Home is where your mortgage is.
  • In information economy you bribe public officials not with dirty money but with dirty insider information.
  • Corporatism is not capitalism.

Propagandon’t

  • There is no such thing as white collar on white collar crime.
  • Let freedom ring with the ricochet of a bullet.
  • They should have a naked body scanner at the red carpet at the Oscars.
  • This CNN broadcast has been modified to fit your screen and our agenda.
  • The revolution will be produced for 24 hour cable news.
  • The problem with @CNN is that their anchors talk too much about what they know so little about.
  • WTF: Win The Future
  • China can advertise in Times Square but I can’t Google in Tiananmen Square.

Question

  • Is the federal government too big to fail?
  • Bahrain or Bloodrain?

Randumb

  • Charity is big business.
  • Riots, rebellions, and revolutions in the morning!
  • Ethnic cleansing is a dirty business.
  • Many of the political assassins in American history have three names, for example Lee Harvey Oswald and Jared Lee Loughner.

In Da Future

  • In the future, money will have QR codes and RFID chips.
  • In the future, picture taking, map drawing, and evasive driving will be made illegal.
  • In the future, it will be considered illegal to quote/teach/defend the Constitution.
  • In the future, the chains of bondage will be virtual.

Duchery

  • To me @urbanhomestead’s tactics are no better than @MonsantoCo’s. I wonder if get have the same lawyer.
  • @urbanhomestead patents pollination in plants, sues the green giant.
  • Blogging is often confused with reporting and freedom of speech. – Dervaes Family Institute For Trademark Lawsuits
  • @urbanhomestead you can’t usurp a home grown and grass root community with a trademark.
  • @urbanHomestead to send Twitter a cease and desist for allowing the #urbanhomestead hashtag.
  • @urbanhomestead to send @urbanoutfitters and @KeithUrban a ‘fyi cease and desist’ letter for trademark infringement for using the word Urban
  • Hey @urbanhomestead I just purchased The Urban Homestead: Your Guide to Self-sufficient Living in the Heart of the City by Kelly Coyne!
  • I hate to inform @urbanhomestead but you can’t claim copyright or trade mark infringement on a book name or title. Stop your attack!
  • @urbanhomestead just patented drip irrigation and the domestication of snow peas, oh, and don’t use their trademarks without consent.

Activists’ Action Plan

The Atlantic has a great post on a 26-page pamphlet that they have deemed an Activists’ Action Plan for the political protests in Egypt. The pamphlet has tips and advice for protesters demanding reform in their country. The pamphlet includes diagrams and tactics for dealing with the riot police and security forces.

One page includes advice on necessary clothing and accessories, such as a leather jacket or sweatshirt with a hood, garbage can lid or pot lid to use a shield, protected glasses, scarf to cover mouth, spray paint, gloves, and comfortable shoes.

Necessary Clothing and Accessories

Necessary Clothing and Accessories

Another page describes how to deal with riot police vehicles, such as those with water cannons use to disperse crowds. One tip is to use spray paint to paint over the windshields of police vehicles and surveillance cameras.

How to Use the Accessories

How to Use the Accessories

The Atlantic did not post the whole pamphlet, just a few translated page.

Favorite Tweets December 2010

There are some funny people on Twitter. Whenever I find a funny, witty, or thought provoking I usually retweet it and favorite it. Here is a small collection of recent tweets that stoop out to me.

  • @markos: Obama said the country was founded on compromise? What was that, the Revolutionary Compromise?
  • @5tevenw: The best gift you can give is a hug: 1 size fits all and nobody ever minds if you return it!!
  • @af: Best iPhone signature I’ve ever seen: “this msg is shrt bcuz it was sent frm my stupid iphone 4g which I hate but feel the need 2 have.”
  • @DamnItsTrue: Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns -> most women’s problems begin with men.
  • @bazecraze: Mom asked me today how to sign up for Twitter. So I told her it was $12.99 a month. Crisis averted.
  • @danmartell: “Money grows on the tree of persistence” Japanese Proverb
  • @swedal: Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?
  • @Ictericia: La ciudad es una composición de ventanas.
  • @youloveB: Love my women with high heels & high standards
  • @renogood: Demi’s in rehab, Miley’s smoking salvia, Zac Efron & Vanessa Hudgens have split. Disney has more drama than Jersey Shore.
  • @techknow: I am an idea artist, making you think is my master piece.
  • @dianadiggity: Take a shower, your attitude stinks.
  • @OmgAnnalie: As soon as I stop wanting something, I get it. What’s the point of that?
  • @PF_TELLUGLYLIES: only time will tell how long i can wait
  • @melizeche: If Assange was in China doing the same thing, the West would have called him a dissident and given him a Nobel prize #freeassange
  • @512: I wish I could Ctrl+Alt+Delete out of everything.
  • @Askmeifigaf: Whats the difference between gorgeous, beautiful and sexy?
  • @davepell: Groupon seems to be the one company in their universe NOT willing to take a discount.
  • @bobmcwhirter: I’m now corporately ethical and compliant. I have the certificates to prove it. I’d show them to you, but they’re trade secrets.
  • @MissElleCee: Just received a 6 page email from my sister with our NYE itinerary. Hopefully I will be drunk for pages 2-6 #nutjob
  • @BrettGreene: Best. Relationship Status. Ever. Just read: “I’m in a relationship w/ Facebook …and it’s complicated.”
  • @shwood: The most disquieting aspect of the Kinect occurs at 30 seconds after booting, when it looks up and down to size you up. #HAL9000
  • @lowhanyew: More contentment; less resentment.
  • @trinitysaij: Nothing says Xmas more than a star wars marathon on spike tv
  • @shauninman: Video Skyping with in-laws is a comedy of computer errors.
  • @jacksonh: Damn, was hoping santa would do the dishes.
  • @RaiselM: Sweden celebrates Christmas on the 24th. They need the extra day to assemble their gifts from IKEA.
  • @jdickerson: State of Union address will be after visit by Chinese President Hu Jintao. Makes sense: give annual report after meeting with top investor.
  • @wilshipley: Dear HP: Printing to one of your stupid printers shouldn’t involve you installing new fucking kernel drivers.
  • @noreaga: Most people forget that they are forgetful

Retweet December 2010

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in December 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Got Gov?

  • Bailouts, tax cuts, and deficits.
  • You don’t need a wikileak to know that the coordinated attack on wikileaks is by a covert government agency.
  • Do you think there is an office pool in some CIA break room to see when Julian Assagne will be neutralized?
  • The US has a policy to not negotiate with terrorists, but it is also known to fund and train them.
  • Since US forces can’t find Osama in Afghanistan, the TSA is searching in American travelers’ underpants.
  • We are enslaved in the name of freedom.
  • It’s not a free country, it’s a credit country.
  • Lady Liberty is a crack whore for oil.
  • I don’t want something that needs to be approved by a regulatory body in my body.
  • Constitutional monarchies are largely ceremonial, so is the constitution.
  • Some people in the current administration want to replace freedom with feardom.
  • for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR FEARDOM!

Politricks

  • Don’t Ask, Don’t Read The Repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Act of 2010.
  • Whenever someone says that they are backed by “irrefutable facts” they are making it up.
  • Whenever someone says that they have the smoking gun, ask for the smoking gunman.
  • There is a three party system in American, the Republicans, the Democrats, and Annonymous.
  • No one respects your political views, not even those you vote for.
  • One dollar, one vote.
  • We the sheeple.
  • Once elected, they ain’t effective.
  • Hope don’t float.
  • If they outright lie while campaigning what don’t you think they lie about once elected?

Econemy

  • Designed by Apple in California. Manufactured by Foxxcon in China.
  • More money more bills.
  • Some kids play baseball, other kids make the baseballs for $2/day.
  • Saying a corporation is too big to fail is like saying you are too big to eat.
  • The capitalism trumps innovation.
  • Martin Luther King JR’s estate charges academic authors $50 for each sentence of the “I Have a Dream” speech that they reprint.
  • “Sensory trademarks” include a duck quacking (AFLAC), a lion roaring (MGM), yodelling (Yahoo!), giggling (Pillsbury).
  • 91 pending trademarks bear Donald Trump’s name, including “Donald J. Trump the Fragrance” and “Trump’s Golden Lager.”
  • Micro lenders only leads to micro loan sharks.

Propagandon’t

  • NPR: National Propaganda Radio @NPR
  • Nationalism needs an enemy.
  • If you are listening to this you are the resistance.
  • Noticed that http://OFA.BO/ resolves to @BarackObama’s campaign website. BO is the TLD for Bolivia. What happened, Barack.ly wasn’t free?
  • Are news networks embedded in the military or the military embedded in the news network?
  • Censorship is only bad when it’s done by another country, it’s good for the homeland when it’s done by your country.
  • Suspicious Activities Report is the new world order witch hunt.
  • There is a lot of chedder in the intel for terror arrests in xmas by interstate corporate sponsored eggtremists.
  • Notice how ‘terror arrests’ sounds a lot like ‘terrorists.’
  • What ever happened to all that talk about Global Warming? It’s so cold that all of NY and parts of hell have frozen over.
  • There are conspiracy theorists, and there are conspiracy engineers.

Question

  • Is the Internet half empty or half full?
  • Inception is a movie about implanting an idea someone’s mind through their dreams, what idea was implanted while watching the movie?
  • Is good the enemy of great?
  • If the Swiss army knife has all those blades, how does the Swiss army thank look like?
  • Whatever happened to Brownie the brown nose reindeer?
  • Which is better, a Star Wars or Lord of the Ring movie marathon?
  • What is your soundtrack to 2010?
  • When everyone thinks differently at the same time, is it really that different?
  • If you could invent a new holiday what would it be?
  • Which is worst a flake or a fake?
  • Why so serious?
  • What is your favorite Christmas movie?
  • Can you fake authenticity?
  • Is it racist to have a white sale on black Friday?

Randumb

  • The world is the world’s greatest theme park, go out for a ride.
  • It’s been raining for a week now that everything is soaking wet. I think I need to go to work in a wet suit.
  • There is a reason why the term committed is both used to describe a long term relationship and your state in a insane asylum.
  • People will always have an opinion even when they don’t have a thought.
  • Life is not like a box of chocolate, it’s more like a can of worms.
  • Natural endorphin is a natural gateway drug.
  • My experience and background is broad and multi-trans-dimensional.
  • I’m the CEO of my blog.
  • People make me laugh. people + lol = peoplol.
  • Shift happens.
  • I have a mind altering migraine in the membrane.
  • Embarrass always ends with an ASS.
  • Let a thousand tweets retweet.
  • They see me tweetin, they hatin.
  • The future was here.
  • Three Little Words: I don’t care!
  • Let my people dance!
  • Novelty is not long lasting.
  • Having an out of body OMG moment.
  • I CAN HAZ ZZZZZzzzzz….
  • Space is so random.
  • I love how my hair is styled when I wake up.
  • Sex is the new love.
  • Love is not the cure, it is the disease.
  • There is no ease in dying from a disease.
  • Effort > Excuses
  • Happily ever now!
  • Happily ever after is a lie.
  • Love is straight.

Overheard

  • OH: A little hazard pay never hurt anybody.
  • OH: my fingers are getting in the way of my typing.
  • OH: That’s a hype thing to do.
  • OH: xmas wrapping paper is so expensive, that is your xmas present.
  • OH: You are so messy you are a mess.
  • OH: All I did was open it and it turned on by itself.

Ideatron

  • Million Dollar Idea: Fortune cookies with ads and coupons instead of pseudo eastern philosophy.
  • Million Dollar Idea: ads on the side of metal detectors, such as stores, airports, etc.
  • Million dollar idea: caffeinated stem cells’ juice.
  • Million dollar idea of the day: BBQ tofu!
  • Million Dollar Idea: Bacon Juice
  • I can’t wait until e-ink can be used in clothes. Can you imagine your t-shirt design changing based on emotional state?
  • I’mma paint the curve in front my house red. I don’t know why my neighbors always parking their jalopy in front my house.

In Da Future

  • In the future, cartoons will deemed pornographic because cartoon character don’t have pants and are often naked.
  • In the future, the FBI will tap your Facebook wall, Foursquare check-ins, Twitter status updates, and Yelp reviews without a search warrant.
  • In the future, a realist will be called a cynic.
  • In the future, all electronic devices will have a secret root user and root kit pre-installed.

Favorite Tweets November 2010

There are some funny people on Twitter. Whenever I find a funny, witty, or thought provoking I usually retweet it and favorite it. Here is a small collection of recent tweets that stoop out to me.

LOL

  • @DamnItsTrue: Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns -> most womens probIems begin with men. #DamnItsTrue
  • @carlmaxim: Sarah Palin says Julian Assange should be hunted down like Osama bin Laden. So he should be safe for at least a decade. #WikiLeaks
  • @rachelsklar: Chasing straight vodka with pickles. You know it.
  • @ericgonzalez: OH: “I can’t get AT&T reception at AT&T park” #lolz
  • @swedal: Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?
  • @lolprez: #rally4sanity is a rally without a cause.
  • @LyrIcSmasHER: In math but I feel like I’m in spanish
  • @Krissy90220: Makeup is one hell of a drug
  • @michaelnichols: Words of encouragement from my coworker: “Be Positive! Shit Rainbows!”
  • @summertomato: OH: “I didn’t really cook all this, but I did cut the cheese.”
  • @tnylgn: Eating Halloween candy and ignoring the doorbell. A little game I like to call fuck you I paid for it.
  • @wafflesgirls: i only illegally download music for my stolen ipod

TRU

  • @TheFragileKate: Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful :)
  • @Pres_Bartlet: Meg Whitman’s personal spending on her campaign: $163 million. National Endowment for the Arts 2010 budget: $161.4 million.
  • @ShesMorgan: We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
  • @God_Damn_Batman: So Harry Potter’s parents were murdered before his eyes, now he wears a black cloak and fights evil? EXPECT A CALL FROM MY LAWYERS ROWLING!!
  • @maxklein: The easiest way to rob a bank is to have one
  • @LyrIcSmasHER: Hope is a distant memory
  • @SarahBlakeInc: Will I take Amazon Gift Cards as payment? Sure, when the light company does
  • @EssyDoesIt: Rule #1 … im #1 .

TSA

  • @sacca: Just saw a TSA agent check whether a laser pointer was working by shooting it directly into her eye. Should I admire her dedication?
  • @mistersterling: I’m considering shoving McDonald’s Happy Meal toys in my pants when I get to the airport. Hilarious consequences for sure.
  • @TSAagent: This #SecurityTheatre is starting to feel less like a theatre and more like a strip club. #TSA #TSAagent #BadTouch

TECH

  • @the_tech_bubble: Hey Groupon, $6 billion isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? Actually, $6 billion is pretty cool.
  • @davepell: Groupon seems to be the one company in their universe NOT willing to take a discount.
  • @avalanche123: “Java is a DSL for taking large XML files and converting them to stack traces”
  • @KieranO: What did all the Social Media Experts do for a living before social media?
  • @yurechko: “@arrington is the Glenn Beck of technology”
  • @tonystubblebine: A good tech conference always makes me want to leave early and write code. Having trouble sitting still at #w2s
  • @mktgdouchebag: I wonder how the person who first said “That’s for me to know and you to find out” is adjusting to Facebook.

Retweet October 2010

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in October 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Got Government?

  • After two years into his administration, why do I feel like President Obama pulled a Nigerian scam on the American people!
  • Words that have lost their meaning in 2010: transparency, open, hope
  • Are you down with the GOP? Yeah, you know me!
  • War on Terror really means war x terror, resulting in more of both not less of each.
  • Playboy should do a an issue where all the pictures are taken from the naked body scanners used by the TSA at airport security checkpoints.
  • What the TSA considers optional procedures are another name for beta testing and they are testing on the public!
  • To opt-out is a constitutional right!
  • Aside from the Bible, the most often misinterpreted and misunderstood document is the constitution!
  • China is one giant fiefdom of corporate sweatshops.
  • The next world war will be over the moon’s resources!

Politricks

  • Ron Paul and The Rent Is Too Damn High Party Guy for president 2012!!!
  • There are four kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics, and campaign promises!If Hitler were alive today, he would be the president of the RIAA.
  • As a business woman, if Meg Whitman has spent $140 million of her own cash for her campaign, what does she expect as a ROI on that?
  • It is calculated that Meg Whitman has spent $140 million of her own money on her campaign. Talk about trying to buy an election.
  • #rally4sanity is a rally without a cause.
  • Democracy, based on a true story.
  • The Oscars should have a new award category, Best Political Campaign Smear Ad!

Econemy

  • Liquidity is king.
  • What industry can we outsource next? Agriculture?
  • All blue color jobs will be outsourced to robots.
  • American pride is well ahead of the American economy.
  • How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could outsource wood chucking?
  • What a folly to believe you are saving money by buying something on sale, especially if you can do without it!
  • Capitalism is driven in large part by selling to people that don’t have the money things that they do not need.

Propagandon’t

  • When talking about Pakistan, the news often speaks of the “tribal area.”. Where is the tribal area of the US? Washington, DC!
  • The political correctness police is just as bad as the secret police in making examples of those that honestly speak their mind.
  • We all remembered the Alamo, but the reason why we should remember the Alamo we did not remember.
  • Another word for Cap and Trade is carbon emission fiefdom.
  • Another word for Cap and Trade is rations.
  • Education requires student participation.
  • The news has a statistical error rate of 30%!
  • Freedom begets freedom.

Question

  • If the universe was a painting would it be more like a Michelangelo, Picasso, or Banksy?
  • Is there such a thing as too much data?
  • Where in the world is sesame street located at?
  • If a zombie eats a green 1-up mushroom does it come back to life?
  • What is the current temperature of the universe?
  • What is up with teams named after years, the 49ers, the 76ers?
  • If your name is it, what is the word used to describe something as belonging to you? Is it, it’s or its?

Randumb

  • I meme therefore I am.
  • Grammatical rules are meant to be broken!
  • The future is an origami folded onto a fractal.
  • In the end, gravity always win!
  • Pumpkin is a great flavor, I should patent it.
  • Don’t let you conscious mind cock block your subconscious mind.
  • Some people are sex machines others sex robots.
  • I tweet therefore I am.
  • Stress is a gateway emotion!
  • Chocolate rain is a great example of a purple cow.
  • What is up with teams named after years, the 49ers, the 76ers? I wanna start a new team, the 10Kers BC!
  • 3D TV is to real 3D what reality TV is to regular reality.
  • Give me a S. Give me a I. Give me a C. Give me a tissue. What does that spell? I’m sickie…
  • Man, I have a bad case of funk shui!
  • There no vacation for a parent!
  • Dim Sum is the Chinese version of Spanish Tapas.
  • Love hurts deeply!
  • Love is the other four letter word.
  • Love means never having to say your sorry but always admitting its you fault, “It’s my fault honey, I’ll fix that.”
  • It’s a thin line between love and hate, and the more passionately someone hates someone else the more that line bleeds into love.

Overheard

  • OH: Are you going to tweet that?
  • OH: What we have now is only like 0.1 of what we need, but it’s like 10 times better than what we had before.
  • OH: I’m not paying the heating bill for ghosts.
  • OH: that’s what happens when a post is auto-generated from a Twitter account with tweets entered on an iPhone by someone with fat fingers.
  • OH: I’m tough on you because I need you to be tough!
  • OH: You should be a computer security researcher since you seem to be the first to contract every computer virus known to man.
  • OH: There’s always been pros and cons left and right day and night then and now, always.
  • OH: Your logic doesn’t follow, so neither do I.
  • OH: This tastes like space Chinese food.
  • OH: Don’t you worry about it. When you start worrying about me that’s when I get worried.
  • OH: Oh, no, Obama is the President of the United States, he would never lie to the people, why would you think that?

Craporation

  • McDs should have a truth in advertising campaign and name their products to better descriptive names like McFatty, McGrub, and McTasteless.
  • If you farm generic genetically engineered fish twice the size and in half the time then you’ll get none of the flavor.
  • Monsanto should make a cooking book, Genetically Modified Foods for the Soul
  • In addition to fish, meat, diary, and vegetables there is a new food group, bioengineered.

Halloween

  • Happy Halloween! Trick or tweet!!!
  • If grown people come to trick or treat and they don’t have a costume they are getting veggie stix!
  • People getting rid of Easter candy on Halloween: http://twitpic.com/32u2ca
  • Why are people giving out Easter candy on Halloween.
  • Who you gonna call? Watching Ghostbusters!
  • Watching The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror marathon!

Retweet September 2010

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in September 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Got Gov?

  • Fees are the new taxes.
  • No new wars. No new taxes.
  • Laws are made to make everyone out to be criminals.
  • Just how the US government has a Department of the Interior it should have a Department of the Pursuit of Happiness.
  • Stupidity is not illegal, in fact it’s usually written right into the law.
  • We are a nation of laws and loopholes. We are a nation of citizens and cheats.
  • The US is a one party system, Republicans and Democrat are two side of the same coin, two pockets in the same special interest.
  • The Situation for Senate.
  • Tax subsidy is an oxymoron.

Econemy

  • Life, liberty and the pursuit of capital!
  • Capitalism teaches people that a persons value in society is based on his or her financial net worth.
  • Investment bankers are high with your own supply.

Question

  • Is time a wave or a particle?
  • Ice cream or cake?
  • Do two majors (major major) add up to one problem?
  • Which is best fish sticks or meatballs?
  • Is there a Jehovah Witness do not call list?
  • Do you feel better when you save or splurge?
  • Why do you need drugs to kick the habit of taking drugs?
  • Why am I carrying all these cards, credit cards, reward cards, gift cards, hotel key cards?
  • What’s the Finnish word for finish?
  • Are you working or working it?
  • Is TV reality celebrity a new career choice?
  • Is there anything higher than cloud 9?
  • Can you have OCD but be to lazy to be compulsive?
  • What cartoon character you relate with the most?
  • Happy Friday the 13th! Does Hallmark have a card for the occasion?
  • The Great Traffic Jam of China: China does everything in epic proportions, from walls to traffic congestion?
  • If you could take one pill for either happiness, beauty, or intelligence which pill would you take?
  • If everything is said to taste like chicken, why don’t McChicken nuggets taste like chicken?

Randumb

  • There is a thin line between love and hate, and between alimony and all-da-money.
  • If I was to write a book I think it would be called Love in the Time of Porn.
  • I thought I’ve seen it all, backseat driver, arm chair quarterback, and now behind the spotlight reality celebrity.
  • Simplified Chinese Characters is an oxymoron.
  • New national security threat: extremist bed bugs!
  • Does <3 = less than three?
  • In a social drinker, I drink while on social networking sites.
  • I’m too lazy to be obsessive!
  • All words are made up words!
  • Secret of Life: Don’t Give Up
  • You are not your network.
  • If you can’t make it anywhere you can’t make it nowhere.
  • WILL DANCE FOR BEATS!
  • Things that happen to us are not like quick sand. Don’t get stuck in something that happened a long time back.
  • The best book you can give to any one is a blank sketch book.
  • At HomeTown Buffet with my home town homies.
  • If only dreams can go viral.
  • Feelings have meaning.
  • Nerdy is the new sexy.
  • All the advice you ever need: Live well, love much, laugh often, drink plenty of water, go regularly, hate the game not the player, …
  • Some women, instead of breast implants, should get a brain transplant.
  • Don’t waste too much time explaining your life to people that are not part of it.
  • What’s the grosses item on the McD’s menu? The mushroom angus wrap was pretty bad.
  • I never understood why the show Doctor Who was named that, since the Doctor is a time traveler wouldn’t s better name be Doctor When?

Million Dollar Ideas

  • Million dollar idea of the day: Motion detector audible buzzer device that acts as a scare crow/pigeon but is not heard by people.
  • Million dollar idea of the day: they have queen and king size beds, standardize on a new empress mattress size.
  • Million dollar idea of the day: Install translucent palm tree shaped solar panels at parking lots. It provides shade and generates energy.
  • Million dollar idea of the day: flavored drink that once frozen in the refrigerator turns into a smoothie/slurpee, no blender required.
  • Million dollar idea of the day: Wasabi Toothpaste
  • Million dollar idea of the day: Bling band-aid
  • It doesn’t really matter of the universe is expanding or shrinking, it matters if your mind is.

In Da Future

  • In the future, a camera will be considered a weapon.
  • In the future all forms marriages will be abolish.
  • In the future, weed will come with the terms of service and user agreement.
  • In the future, there will be behavior detection officers amongst us monitoring your every move.
  • In the future, the constitution will be redacted.
  • In the future, telling someone the time will be considered an insult.
  • In the future, Facebook and Google will have a thought crime division which will report you to the authorities for pre-crime activities.
  • In the future, a new car will come with power windows, dashboard cam, 4G/wifi, twitter account, facebook connect, app store, and a keg.
  • It is said that a man’s home is his castle, in the future a man’s home will be his prison.
  • In the future, politics will be known as the p-word.
  • In the future there will be apps for your TV, your car, your clothes, your passport, and your brain.
  • The future called, said it would call again later.
  • I make up the future as I go.