Public Statement from the NSA on Planned Fourth of July Demonstrations

Public statement made by the NSA regarding planned Fourth of July demonstrations.

The Fourth of July reminds us as Americans of the perceived freedoms and regulated rights all citizens of our country are guaranteed by our Constitution. Among those is freedom of speech, often exercised in protests of various kinds. NSA does not object to any lawful, peaceful protest but be advised that we will be monitoring your freedom of speech and anything you say or ever had said may be used against you in a secret court of law. NSA and its employees work diligently and lawfully every day, around the clock and around the world, to protect the public and private interest of our clients.

Retweet June 2012

In this post I’ll be reblogging some retweets from the past month broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events such as the upcoming general election, the Supreme Court’s decision on ObamaCare, and the ongoing investigation into the fiasco that is known as Operation Fast and Furious. Follow the conversation at xwoop and lolprez.

Obamanation

  • Barack Obama doesn’t care about white people, but he doesn’t much care for black either. The only people he cares about is George Clooney.
  • Romney admitted of putting a dog in it’s crate on top of a the family wagon, Obama admitted of eating dog. #DogsAgainstObama
  • Just like pork is the other white meat, Obama is the just another white president.
  • Obama Rule 33: If we can leak who leaked that leak we’ll leak the consequences.
  • The Obama Decree: If you are killed by the US military, by definition you must have been a military combatant even if you are a 15 y/o kid.
  • Obama’s Campaign Promise: We will tax you, drone you, or plant spyware virus in your network.

Obamacare

  • ObamaCare is one big penalty.
  • Show me the penalties.
  • … but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and penalties. – Benjamin Franklin
  • What’s in a name? that which we call a penalty by any other name would smell as sweet.
  • If it quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck, it must be a penalty.
  • A tax is a tax is a penalty.
  • All taxes are penalties.

Got Gov?

  • If the federal agencies are sending guns to Mexico in an operation like Fast and Furious, what are they sending to Iraq, Syria, Libya, etc?
  • Fast and Furious = Drugs and Death
  • The cooperation from the Obama administration into Fast and Furious investigation has been anything but fast fast or furious.
  • Fast and Furious or Dumb and Dumber?
  • In America, guns walk more than people. #FastAndFurious
  • The Supreme Court ruling on Citizens United really means Money United.
  • In this case, we said we would look into it, we did look into, but we can’t look into it further here. – State Department Spokesperson
  • In capitalist america, bunker busting bombs discover oil.
  • The USA might as well change its name to NSA.
  • National security is not above liberty, freedom, privacy, and the rule and due process of law.
  • The US reserves the right to use military force in response to cyber attacks and yet it finds itself cyber attacking other nations.

Propagandon’t

  • No one does propaganda better than the American press.
  • The land of opportunity is based on inequality.
  • The Today show is losing ratings faster than Matt Lauer is losing his hair.
  • When the only objective of news networks is the bottom line, then there is no free press.

War Racket

  • In drones we trust.
  • The best chance to win a fight, is to change the rules of the fight…
  • If an opponent is preparing for a boxing fight, he will be surprised when you kick him in the face.
  • The United States is almost in a many war theaters as it was in the World War II. #WWIII
  • The United States is involved in more covert wars than it was in the Cold War.
  • Afghanistan is a mess, as is Libya, as is Iraq, as is Egypt, and Obama/CIA keeps droning Pakistan, and interfering in Syria. #WWIII

Question

  • What if Russia puts a radar missile defense in Iran?
  • Will President Obama be the first US president to be charged as a war criminal?
  • How large are your dreams? Do you measure them in feet or in miles?
  • What happens when you disrupt those disrupting? #meta #disrupt
  • What is the sound of one hand web surfing?
  • Can a can cancan?
  • If birds evolved from dinosaurs does that mean that birds can devolve back to dinosaurs?
  • Is there a vaccine for idiocy?

Randumb

  • The largest threat to mankind is mankind itself.
  • I can’t wait for the day when there will be an Autonomous Algorithm Automobile Association of American membership…
  • Trees are your friends.
  • The future has been sold to a time traveling mining corporations.
  • Nature is the world’s greatest mathematician, inventor, engineer, and biz dev guy ever.

Obama’s American Dream Deferred

While speaking to students at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (UNC), President Obama said the following

So we’ve still got a lot of work to do to rebuild this economy so that it lasts, so that it’s solid, so that it’s firm.  But what I want you to know is that the degree you earn from UNC will be the best tool you have to achieve that basic American promise — the idea that if you work hard, you can do well enough to raise a family and own a home, send your own kids to college, put a little away for retirement.  (Applause.)  That American Dream is within your reach.  (Applause.) 

Let’s be honest… Obama’s kids version of the American Dream is to marry Jewish investment bankers like Chelsea Clinton. When I was a kid, the American Dream used to be to go to the moon, not squirrel away pennies for retirement. The American Dream meant that if you work hard you can achieve anything, now it means that if you work hard you can pay off your mortgage.

Retweet March 2011

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in December 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Obamatron

  • President Barrack Obama to crown himself Sultan Hussein Obama.
  • Would Sultan Hussein Obama intervene in Bahrain, Syria, Yemen, Ivory Coast, Britain?
  • Show me the money, the real unemployment figures, the federal reserves back office deals, and your birth certificate.
  • President Obama sought approval for war and aggression towered Libya in the UN instead of from congress.
  • Obama doesn’t need congress to declare war if he gets his marching orders from a UN resolution.
  • President Obama is a token president.
  • Do as you are told – President Obama

Got Gov?

  • ‘We the people’ has been rewritten to ‘we the lobbyists.’
  • The default policy for government should be freedom not feardom.
  • The president is not above the law of the land.
  • United Slaves of America.
  • If the press cows to government censorship requests, is there really freedom of press?
  • 50% of all Al Queda members are CIA.
  • There is a secret government black op agency known as CIAQ, Central Intelligence Al-Queda.
  • If the government shuts down, I will proclaim myself emperor of these United States, except for Idaho.
  • IRS agents don’t carry calculators, they carry guns.
  • Half of congress are trolls the other half are tools.
  • If Hollywood ran the government, Charlie Sheen would be president, Mel Gibson Vice President, and Lady Gaga would the the Secretary of State, and American Idol judges would run the Supreme Court.
  • Donald Trump should make The Apprentice: Congress Edition
  • This is not a Twitter revolution or Facebook uprising. Was the American Revolution known as a pamphlet uprising?
  • Snooki for Secretary of State.
  • If Apple’s legal team wrote the constitution Jobs would tax you 30% for exercising your rights 2 life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
  • AT&T gives the NSA better service than its customers.
  • AT&T to merge with the NSA, to be called NSAT&T.

Politricks

  • Mossad and Hamas should kiss and make up.
  • If you wand great Paris souvenirs then go to China.
  • Half of the British royal family’s income comes from the revenue and television rights of royal weddings.

War Racket

  • Worst than going to war is going to war with no clear objectives, targets, and command.
  • A tomahawk cruise missile fired hundreds of miles away is an act of war just as much as deploying soldiers.
  • Nothing beats the smell of tomahawk cruise missiles in the air in the morning.
  • Let’s us remember that the colonialism that the new world endured for 500 years was a coalition of the willing.
  • The default setting in US drone’s target system is to seek and destroy any tribal meeting or wedding party.
  • The best defense is a good surface to air defense.
  • We are in an information war and the front line is social media, Twitter, Facebook, blogs, YouTube…
  • Let freedom ring with the ricochet of a bullet.

Social Propaganda

  • Who needs the gestapo when you have Facebook and sockpuppets as friends.
  • There is no better marketing event than a natural disaster or national tragedy.
  • If you condense a cable news network’s broadcast for a 24 hour period for original content you would only get 10 minutes.
  • What need is there for @CNN and other cable news outlet if they show the same few clips from YouTube for 36 hours straight.
  • NY Times or CIA Times?
  • No wonder America has an obesity problem, depending on the time and channel up at 1/4 of commercials are about food, delicious yummy food…

Questions

  • If you were a piece of wood what type of wood would you be?
  • How many presidents can you pick up from a police lineup?
  • Does the FBI have a backdoor in Foursquare and other location base applications?
  • Does Black Water have an air force?
  • Why isn’t Mother Nature on anybodies terror watchlist?
  • How do you protest a ban on protests?
  • What wealthy CEO or Hollywood actor will run for CA governor next?
  • What is more important to you, your reputation or character?
  • If you were a color in the rainbow what shade would you be?
  • How many items do you have in your wishlist?
  • If it’s a party in your mouth, where does the after party move to?
  • How happy is a clam?

Randumb

  • The intelligentsia is stupid.
  • Ideas don’t have an ideology.
  • If you are still in bed, you are only #winning if there are two other people there with you!
  • New survey says that most Americans don’t trust surveys.
  • crouching #tigerblood and hidden #dragonfire.
  • There is no such thing as white collar on white collar crime.
  • The audacity of dope
  • Just because I have a big heart doesn’t mean I have a small brain.
  • There is gold diggers and then there is nickel diggers.
  • I want a unicorn pi~nata!
  • If Michelangelo was alive today, his masterpiece David would be posed as if infront of a mirror taking a picture of himself with an iPhone.
  • I’m a time machine that only goes forward in time at the constant speed of one minute per minute.
  • It’s siesta time somewhere in the world.
  • Me so hungry.
  • This came to me in a dream: DTF FTW
  • I wish I could read in the dark.
  • The end is eh.
  • I think I wanna start a punk rock band, the Naked Body Scanners.

In The Future

  • In the future, the past will become unpredictable.
  • Living in the future is so retro.
  • In the near future smart phones will be free. Phone makers will make their money on app and media sales.
  • In the future, political polls will override, over rule, and out weight the constitution.
  • In the future, autotune will win every category in the Grammy’s.
  • In the future everyone will be a social media expert.

Overheard

  • OH: She took a shower so that she could take a bath.
  • OH: It’s like kissing a cookie.
  • OH: unicorns ain’t gangsta!
  • OH: Your Indian name is Chief Cuts The Cheese.
  • OH: I like my women like I like my burrito, wet and spicy.
  • OH: I ordered a Hawaiian pizza with extra Hawaiian.

Mcdon’t

  • McDonald’s should just come out and make the McCardboard.
  • For St. Patrick’s, McDs has a Shamrock Shake. For Cinco de Mayo they should have a Tequila Shake.
  • Does anyone actually like the Shamrock Shake at McDs?
  • @mcdonalds if I am forced to ask for ketchup and asked to explicitly say how many I need what other cost cutting measures are you doing?
  • Hey @mcdonalds, since when is it policy to not give customers what they want? Why was I denied a caramel and strawberry sundea?

Cookie Cartel

  • The Girl Scouts cookies are sold by unpaid child labor and I am not entirely sure it is dolphin safe.
  • There is nothing “sugar and spice” about the Girl Scouts cookie distribution empire.
  • Girl Scouts have this cookie business locked, it’s like a cookie cartel!

Retweet February 2011

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in December 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Obamatron 3000

  • The salary of a president is $374K, but President Obama made over $5 million last year in 2009.
  • IBM Watson has more personality than President Obama. IBM Watson for president 2012!
  • @barackobama have we invented time travel? Because I thought you were to close Gitmo one year into your term. Maybe your clock runs slow.
  • Lil Wayne would have made a better first black president than Obama.
  • The audacity of dope
  • We got to out build, out innovate, out educate as well as out hustle the rest of the world. – President Obama
  • To win the future you’ve got to bet on debt. – President Obama
  • To win the future you’ve got to bet on black. – President Obama
  • Win The Future By Borrowing From It – President Obama
  • I completely oppose the dictatorship of Mubarak Obama.
  • Within the span of two years we went from “Yes We Can” to “Oh No He Didn’t”

Got Gov?

  • The new world order is of the corporations, by the elites, and for slaves.
  • How do you protest a ban on protests?
  • Warrants? We no need no stinking warrants to read yo email and Facebook account! – FBI
  • An Intelligence Officer in the federal government might make less than $60/year. How intelligent can the guy be to take this job?
  • You know the government is too big when there is a official job tittle for a White House Social Secretary that earns in the 6 figures.
  • All your income are belong to the IRS.
  • You are either a slave of the state or an enemy of the state.
  • The CIA is in the malware and virus writing business, basically they are spook script kiddies.
  • The government has a back door to your high speed router.
  • The feds have seized domain names from individuals, will they next seize Twitter and Facebook accounts?
  • The US finances two sort of organizations dictators and banks.

Politricks

  • There are laws against panhandling, there should be a law against pandering.
  • What former tech CEO will run for governor of California next?
  • If Hollywood ran the government, Charlie Sheen would be president, Mel Gibson Vice President, and Lady Gaga would the the Secretary of State
  • What wealthy CEO or Hollywood actor will run for CA governor next?
  • The land of the free and the home of the brave and the naked body scanners.
  • FBI: Facebook Bureau of Investigations
  • How is it that a government agency will release a computer virus but some kid that guesses a politicians email password gets jail time?
  • The law is not above the law.

Revolutions

  • The way Gaddafi has used war planes and high caliber weapons on civilians you would think he was a general with the IDF.
  • Political protests are sweeping through the Middle East and Wisconsin.
  • Wondering who will be the next dictator of Egypt.
  • The people have spoken and regimes have crumble.
  • First Tunisia, now Egypt, next England!!!
  • Mummy Mubarak to step down!!!
  • Congratulations to the people of Egypt.
  • The will of the people is mightier than the edicts of dictators.
  • Mubarack Obama to step down!!!!
  • If you can tweet you can start a revolution.
  • If the American Revolution would be held today the Federalist Papers would be known as the Facebook Status Updates.
  • The will of the people is always mightier than the will of a dictraitor.
  • Dictators are traitor to their country.
  • No one questions a hanging chad if it’s punched through with a bullet.
  • Some vote with a rigged voting machine, other with cold hard cash, and others with an AK-47.

Econemy

  • Wall Street: The Fourth Branch of government.
  • In cash we trust.
  • Monsanto has figured out how to grow genetically modified money on trees.
  • Home is where your mortgage is.
  • In information economy you bribe public officials not with dirty money but with dirty insider information.
  • Corporatism is not capitalism.

Propagandon’t

  • There is no such thing as white collar on white collar crime.
  • Let freedom ring with the ricochet of a bullet.
  • They should have a naked body scanner at the red carpet at the Oscars.
  • This CNN broadcast has been modified to fit your screen and our agenda.
  • The revolution will be produced for 24 hour cable news.
  • The problem with @CNN is that their anchors talk too much about what they know so little about.
  • WTF: Win The Future
  • China can advertise in Times Square but I can’t Google in Tiananmen Square.

Question

  • Is the federal government too big to fail?
  • Bahrain or Bloodrain?

Randumb

  • Charity is big business.
  • Riots, rebellions, and revolutions in the morning!
  • Ethnic cleansing is a dirty business.
  • Many of the political assassins in American history have three names, for example Lee Harvey Oswald and Jared Lee Loughner.

In Da Future

  • In the future, money will have QR codes and RFID chips.
  • In the future, picture taking, map drawing, and evasive driving will be made illegal.
  • In the future, it will be considered illegal to quote/teach/defend the Constitution.
  • In the future, the chains of bondage will be virtual.

Duchery

  • To me @urbanhomestead’s tactics are no better than @MonsantoCo’s. I wonder if get have the same lawyer.
  • @urbanhomestead patents pollination in plants, sues the green giant.
  • Blogging is often confused with reporting and freedom of speech. – Dervaes Family Institute For Trademark Lawsuits
  • @urbanhomestead you can’t usurp a home grown and grass root community with a trademark.
  • @urbanHomestead to send Twitter a cease and desist for allowing the #urbanhomestead hashtag.
  • @urbanhomestead to send @urbanoutfitters and @KeithUrban a ‘fyi cease and desist’ letter for trademark infringement for using the word Urban
  • Hey @urbanhomestead I just purchased The Urban Homestead: Your Guide to Self-sufficient Living in the Heart of the City by Kelly Coyne!
  • I hate to inform @urbanhomestead but you can’t claim copyright or trade mark infringement on a book name or title. Stop your attack!
  • @urbanhomestead just patented drip irrigation and the domestication of snow peas, oh, and don’t use their trademarks without consent.

Retweet October 2010

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in October 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Got Government?

  • After two years into his administration, why do I feel like President Obama pulled a Nigerian scam on the American people!
  • Words that have lost their meaning in 2010: transparency, open, hope
  • Are you down with the GOP? Yeah, you know me!
  • War on Terror really means war x terror, resulting in more of both not less of each.
  • Playboy should do a an issue where all the pictures are taken from the naked body scanners used by the TSA at airport security checkpoints.
  • What the TSA considers optional procedures are another name for beta testing and they are testing on the public!
  • To opt-out is a constitutional right!
  • Aside from the Bible, the most often misinterpreted and misunderstood document is the constitution!
  • China is one giant fiefdom of corporate sweatshops.
  • The next world war will be over the moon’s resources!

Politricks

  • Ron Paul and The Rent Is Too Damn High Party Guy for president 2012!!!
  • There are four kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics, and campaign promises!If Hitler were alive today, he would be the president of the RIAA.
  • As a business woman, if Meg Whitman has spent $140 million of her own cash for her campaign, what does she expect as a ROI on that?
  • It is calculated that Meg Whitman has spent $140 million of her own money on her campaign. Talk about trying to buy an election.
  • #rally4sanity is a rally without a cause.
  • Democracy, based on a true story.
  • The Oscars should have a new award category, Best Political Campaign Smear Ad!

Econemy

  • Liquidity is king.
  • What industry can we outsource next? Agriculture?
  • All blue color jobs will be outsourced to robots.
  • American pride is well ahead of the American economy.
  • How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could outsource wood chucking?
  • What a folly to believe you are saving money by buying something on sale, especially if you can do without it!
  • Capitalism is driven in large part by selling to people that don’t have the money things that they do not need.

Propagandon’t

  • When talking about Pakistan, the news often speaks of the “tribal area.”. Where is the tribal area of the US? Washington, DC!
  • The political correctness police is just as bad as the secret police in making examples of those that honestly speak their mind.
  • We all remembered the Alamo, but the reason why we should remember the Alamo we did not remember.
  • Another word for Cap and Trade is carbon emission fiefdom.
  • Another word for Cap and Trade is rations.
  • Education requires student participation.
  • The news has a statistical error rate of 30%!
  • Freedom begets freedom.

Question

  • If the universe was a painting would it be more like a Michelangelo, Picasso, or Banksy?
  • Is there such a thing as too much data?
  • Where in the world is sesame street located at?
  • If a zombie eats a green 1-up mushroom does it come back to life?
  • What is the current temperature of the universe?
  • What is up with teams named after years, the 49ers, the 76ers?
  • If your name is it, what is the word used to describe something as belonging to you? Is it, it’s or its?

Randumb

  • I meme therefore I am.
  • Grammatical rules are meant to be broken!
  • The future is an origami folded onto a fractal.
  • In the end, gravity always win!
  • Pumpkin is a great flavor, I should patent it.
  • Don’t let you conscious mind cock block your subconscious mind.
  • Some people are sex machines others sex robots.
  • I tweet therefore I am.
  • Stress is a gateway emotion!
  • Chocolate rain is a great example of a purple cow.
  • What is up with teams named after years, the 49ers, the 76ers? I wanna start a new team, the 10Kers BC!
  • 3D TV is to real 3D what reality TV is to regular reality.
  • Give me a S. Give me a I. Give me a C. Give me a tissue. What does that spell? I’m sickie…
  • Man, I have a bad case of funk shui!
  • There no vacation for a parent!
  • Dim Sum is the Chinese version of Spanish Tapas.
  • Love hurts deeply!
  • Love is the other four letter word.
  • Love means never having to say your sorry but always admitting its you fault, “It’s my fault honey, I’ll fix that.”
  • It’s a thin line between love and hate, and the more passionately someone hates someone else the more that line bleeds into love.

Overheard

  • OH: Are you going to tweet that?
  • OH: What we have now is only like 0.1 of what we need, but it’s like 10 times better than what we had before.
  • OH: I’m not paying the heating bill for ghosts.
  • OH: that’s what happens when a post is auto-generated from a Twitter account with tweets entered on an iPhone by someone with fat fingers.
  • OH: I’m tough on you because I need you to be tough!
  • OH: You should be a computer security researcher since you seem to be the first to contract every computer virus known to man.
  • OH: There’s always been pros and cons left and right day and night then and now, always.
  • OH: Your logic doesn’t follow, so neither do I.
  • OH: This tastes like space Chinese food.
  • OH: Don’t you worry about it. When you start worrying about me that’s when I get worried.
  • OH: Oh, no, Obama is the President of the United States, he would never lie to the people, why would you think that?

Craporation

  • McDs should have a truth in advertising campaign and name their products to better descriptive names like McFatty, McGrub, and McTasteless.
  • If you farm generic genetically engineered fish twice the size and in half the time then you’ll get none of the flavor.
  • Monsanto should make a cooking book, Genetically Modified Foods for the Soul
  • In addition to fish, meat, diary, and vegetables there is a new food group, bioengineered.

Halloween

  • Happy Halloween! Trick or tweet!!!
  • If grown people come to trick or treat and they don’t have a costume they are getting veggie stix!
  • People getting rid of Easter candy on Halloween: http://twitpic.com/32u2ca
  • Why are people giving out Easter candy on Halloween.
  • Who you gonna call? Watching Ghostbusters!
  • Watching The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror marathon!

Stephen Hawking’s Scientific Blasphemy

There is little doubt that Stephen Hawking is a smart guy, I mean he’s made several appearances in The Simpsons and is a cultural figure but recently his editorial pieces and interviews have been nothing more than link bait. Earlier this year Stephen Hawking warned that if we were to make contact with intelligent extra-terrestrial lifeforms that we could possibly be annihilated, much like how Native Americans where decimated by guns, germs, and steel as described by the book by Jared Diamond.

The Times Online has a few choice quotes.

We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn’t want to meet. I imagine they might exist in massive ships, having used up all the resources from their home planet. Such advanced aliens would perhaps become nomads, looking to conquer and colonise whatever planets they can reach. … If aliens ever visit us, I think the outcome would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn’t turn out very well for the Native Americans.

I didn’t know Stephen Hawking changed careers, from world renowned scientist to a two bit science fiction writer, but speculating on the event of first contact is not science. I am confident he said this just after watching Avatar.

Stephen Hawking latest link bait is his claim that God didn’t create the Universe. Again, he moved from science to scientific dogma. He claims that God is not necessary in the creation the Universe, that the Universe could have easily been created out of nothing. This really made me laugh, the idea that the Universe could have sprung out of nothingness is as fanciful as string theory. One of science’s major tenets, the conservation of energy, states that nothing can be created or destroyed out of nothing and now Stephen Hawking is claiming that the perhaps our universe and perhaps multiple universes sprung out of a void. This is scientific blasphemy!!!

The Wall Street Journal quote Stephen Hawking as saying the following.

As recent advances in cosmology suggest, the laws of gravity and quantum theory allow universes to appear spontaneously from nothing. Spontaneous creation is the reason there is something rather than nothing, why the universe exists, why we exist. … Our universe seems to be one of many, each with different laws.

If the term creationist wasn’t already taken, I would have to apply it to Stephen Hawking for the above statement. Calling a belief a theory does not make it science. I only have one life, I am not going to bet my life on the concept of multiple universes and definitely not counting on an alien armada invading Earth any time soon. Stephen Hawking should stick to what he knows best, black holes, and leave the alien invasion business to science fiction writers and government officials.

Retweet April 2010

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in April 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Got Gov?

  • The business of democracy is big business.
  • Stupidity likes to repeat and reproduce and reelect itself.
  • The government is developing vaccines to viral ideas.
  • Civilians make for good target practice.
  • The real April Fool’s Day is April 15.
  • If they put fluoride in water, nuclear waste under mountains, and pollutants in the air what would they not put in flu vaccines?
  • Uncle Sam doesn’t know how to use the Internet.
  • Unle Sam shoots up.
  • Uncle Sam works for the CIA.
  • Uncle Sam is a pimp.
  • If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. If all yo have is an attack Apache helicopter, everyone looks like an insurgent.
  • When the pen is mightier than the sword, then the camera with a large telephoto lens will be considered as a weapon.
  • The Indian Penal Code, Section 508, makes it illegal to pretend to be a god. Let there be, lawyers!
  • Your tweets will be held against you in a court of law.
  • Not all laws are created equal.
  • The revolution will not be televised, it will be streamed, tweeted, and liked.

Politricks

  • Stupidity does not term limits.
  • In Russia, they have Russian dolls, a doll that fits in a larger on that fits in a larger on.
  • In Washington, they have Washington Puppets, where one puppet is in the pocket of a larger political puppet that is in the pocket of a larger political puppet.
  • In Washington, politicians have puppets in their closets and special interest in the pocket.
  • President Bush to release a children’s book, Decision Points and Dinosaur Grrrs.
  • Politicians count on your apathy more than your vote.
  • Icelandic karma is a bitch, Eyjafjallajokull fuck yeah!
  • I wouldn’t put it past Iceland to cause the Eyjafjallajokull volcano eruption and disrupting Northern Europe for messing with the Krona.
  • There was a second shooter involved in the death of Polish President Lech Kaczynski.

Econemy

  • It may be true that white men can not jump, but they can sure create toxic investment vehicles like nobodies
    biznatch.
  • You can’t regulate greed.
  • If time flies, then money teleports.
  • Goldman Sucks is the house, on Wall street, never bet against the house, especially when using your own house!
  • Goldman Sucks makes money when the market is up, and it can make even more money when the market is down and out.

Propagandon’t

  • Jon Stewart is a clown with a news desk and teleprompter, and for that matter so is Katie Curic, Brian Williams,
    etc..
  • Is Joy Behar new Larry King, their shows seem the same and they look alike.
  • If as soon as you are born you are slapped in the butt and slapped with a barcode and serial number you are not born free.
  • What really worries me is that the sun is going through climate change!
  • The planet doesn’t need to be save, what needs to be save is our lifestyle.
  • Climate change is the only constant.
  • Next thing you know some greenie will link the recent spike in earthquake activity to climate change.
  • If you think about it, all water is recycled water.
  • Illegal Aliens are the new Pilgrims.
  • American’s have a way of sugar coating history, like calling how American’s describes the Mayflower passengers as pilgrims.

Question

  • If time is money, then what is crack…?
  • Two unanswered questions: Where is Osama and who is Banksy?
  • Can law be criminal?
  • Is Burma the new Tibet?
  • What is the cost of easy money?
  • Is money invaluable? What is the cost of money?
  • If you have multiple personalities, can your personalities conspire against you?
  • Do the walking dead like to eat the brains of the brain dead or is that not zombie kosher?
  • Where do employees at Budweiser go for Happy Hour?
  • iPad or iFad?

Randumb

  • Car companies have replaced the dip stick with the driver.
  • Hip Hop sold out to Hollywood.
  • I’m dyslexic, I can’t tell the diff between WTF and FTW.
  • And then God said, “Let there be gravity, bitches!!!.”
  • I had a dream that I lacked sleep, so even in my dreams I am sleep deprived.
  • My heart rate is sync’d to the BPM of this song.
  • Blame it on the chocolate rain.
  • No secret, not forgotten, is ever safe.
  • 99.1% of the analysis based on flawed or misunderstood statistics are wrong, that means that those that deny said analysis are baby killers.
  • Not all statistics are interpreted equally.
  • Thoughts are transforming.
  • It’s nearly 6AM, birds ate tweeting, time to go to sleep.
  • Content is not content.
  • Consuming media through every sense, including the sixth sense.
  • You can bump into an ex, you can bump into a mean middle school teacher, or even former parole officer but worse is former hair stylist.
  • The future is near.
  • Twitter Tourette: Shyt GODAMMIT Fudge Saget!!!1!
  • If life is like a box of chocolates, then love is like a box of condoms.

Overheard

  • OH: Is that a threat or a promise? Either way stick to it.
  • OH: What is the use of User Generated Content when the majority of users are idiots.
  • OH: You are a smart cookie, just don’t crumble.
  • OH: You are like an emotional turtle, you hide in your shell when someone says something you don’t like.
  • OH: Is that Zuckerborg on the cover of Fast Company? They totally airbrushed that guy.
  • OH: You only move your arse when you fart.

Obamanation

  • Is Obama working for the CIA or the CIA working for Obama? Either case who is working for you?
  • Where is my free Obamacare? It must have been lost with the promises of change and hope.

On Televised Network News, Gardening, and the Wifey

Here are some favorite quotes on network news, keeping a garden, and a man’s better half.

Because television can make so much money doing its worst, it often cannot afford to do its best. – Fred Friendly

Journalism is more addictive than crack cocaine. Your life can get out of balance. – Dan Rather

The one function that TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if it were. – David Brinkley

Here are how some people feel about keeping a garden.

I do some of my best thinking while pulling weeds. – Martha Smith

Gardens and flowers have a way of bringing people together, drawing them from their homes. – Clare Ansberry

I want death to find me planting my cabbages. – Montaigne

Here are some special quotes about that special one.

Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success. – Jim Backus

A TV host asked my wife, “Have you ever considered divorce?” She replied: “Divorce, never. Murder, often.” – Charlton Heston

Satan probably wouldn’t have talked so big if God had been his wife. – P.J. O’Rourke