There are some funny people on Twitter. Whenever I find a funny, witty, or thought provoking I usually retweet it and favorite it. Here is a small collection of recent tweets that stoop out to me.
- @DamnItsTrue: Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns -> most womens probIems begin with men. #DamnItsTrue
- @carlmaxim: Sarah Palin says Julian Assange should be hunted down like Osama bin Laden. So he should be safe for at least a decade. #WikiLeaks
- @rachelsklar: Chasing straight vodka with pickles. You know it.
- @ericgonzalez: OH: “I can’t get AT&T reception at AT&T park” #lolz
- @swedal: Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?
- @lolprez: #rally4sanity is a rally without a cause.
- @LyrIcSmasHER: In math but I feel like I’m in spanish
- @Krissy90220: Makeup is one hell of a drug
- @michaelnichols: Words of encouragement from my coworker: “Be Positive! Shit Rainbows!”
- @summertomato: OH: “I didn’t really cook all this, but I did cut the cheese.”
- @tnylgn: Eating Halloween candy and ignoring the doorbell. A little game I like to call fuck you I paid for it.
- @wafflesgirls: i only illegally download music for my stolen ipod
- @TheFragileKate: Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful :)
- @Pres_Bartlet: Meg Whitman’s personal spending on her campaign: $163 million. National Endowment for the Arts 2010 budget: $161.4 million.
- @ShesMorgan: We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
- @God_Damn_Batman: So Harry Potter’s parents were murdered before his eyes, now he wears a black cloak and fights evil? EXPECT A CALL FROM MY LAWYERS ROWLING!!
- @maxklein: The easiest way to rob a bank is to have one
- @LyrIcSmasHER: Hope is a distant memory
- @SarahBlakeInc: Will I take Amazon Gift Cards as payment? Sure, when the light company does
- @EssyDoesIt: Rule #1 … im #1 .
- @sacca: Just saw a TSA agent check whether a laser pointer was working by shooting it directly into her eye. Should I admire her dedication?
- @mistersterling: I’m considering shoving McDonald’s Happy Meal toys in my pants when I get to the airport. Hilarious consequences for sure.
- @TSAagent: This #SecurityTheatre is starting to feel less like a theatre and more like a strip club. #TSA #TSAagent #BadTouch
- @the_tech_bubble: Hey Groupon, $6 billion isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? Actually, $6 billion is pretty cool.
- @davepell: Groupon seems to be the one company in their universe NOT willing to take a discount.
- @avalanche123: “Java is a DSL for taking large XML files and converting them to stack traces”
- @KieranO: What did all the Social Media Experts do for a living before social media?
- @yurechko: “@arrington is the Glenn Beck of technology”
- @tonystubblebine: A good tech conference always makes me want to leave early and write code. Having trouble sitting still at #w2s
- @mktgdouchebag: I wonder how the person who first said “That’s for me to know and you to find out” is adjusting to Facebook.