There are some funny people on Twitter. Whenever I find a funny, witty, or thought provoking I usually retweet it and favorite it. Here is a small collection of recent tweets that stoop out to me.

• @5tevenw: My father always told me, “Be bold! Don’t be italic.”
• @momosuxx: Does my username make me look fat?
• @jdickerson: Out back I hear crickets, birds, plane, car, hammering, sprinkler all at once. Distracting me from Twitter distracting me from the paper
• @ButtercupD: “multi-device-ing” again…PC on lap, iPad to the left and iPhone to the right…and I like it like that!
• @DamnItsTrue: Facebook is for friends that are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers that should be your friends.
• @keithie: Tufte lecture: Only two industries describe their customers as “users”, computer software and drugs dealers
• @centernetworks: iPhone marriage -Two iPhones got married. It was a lovely ceremony, but the reception was awful. Apparently they held it in the wrong place.
• @alexia: OH: In my next life I want to be reincarnated as a computer.
• @gurl: Never trust a man in flip flops.
• @rands: Avoid those who use language to mystify the obvious.
• @DaRealAmberRose: Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
• @NatashaYi: Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked to, but if you press the wrong button you will be disconnected!
• @batfish: Bacon is the duct tape of the culinary world.
• @adamjackson: “News” is just a distraction to what’s really going on in our world.
• @laughlitmus: I need a software that controls US defense systems to remove human error from strategic decisions *must not become self-aware*
• @SchemaCzar: The beginning of time ain’t what it used to be…
• @DocHobbes: Outraged that the President does not have a plan in place in the event of a zombie out break / apocalypse.
• @ladyfox14: OH: ‘It smells like SPF 50 and hash’ ‘The best two smells of summer’
• @verowhite: I hate packing almost as much as I love traveling.
• @spangley: OH: “rural oregon is like the west virginia of the west coast.”
• @Susan_ld4e: If is the longest word
• @errolmorris: Maybe 95% of all “art” is painting by numbers.
• @Miss_Officer: Life is the best school. God is the best teacher. Problem is the best assignment. Failure is the best revision.
• @Jason: Business plans are entrepreneurial masturbation. Please don’t send me business plans or ideas.
• @mzkay2good: da way i am is cuz of my parents, n their both great but only when their in seperate rooms lol
• @jlashae: Flaws r beautiful :-)
• @iBangLSE: My mistakes have made me strong .
• @Gbaybeeh: There’s a piece of me who leaves when you gone
• @zpower: as a consumer, what sort of wacky decision tree would cause you to conclude that a $300 sony daily edition is a sound purchase?