Retweet June 2010

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in May 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Obamanation

  • Prof Prez Obama’s answer to the meaning of life and everything else is to form a sub-committee to find out whose ass to kick.
  • The reason President Obama has not kick any ass with the oil, car, and banking industry is because he can find the ass to kick.
  • President Obama is not really the ass kicking kind of president, he is more the ass thinking.
  • Have you notice that presidential candidates always promise change, but never promise to just make shit better for people.

Got Gov?

  • Just like criminals cannot profit from their crimes, so too politicians should be made not to profit from theirs.
  • Here is a revenue generating idea, tax up to 80% of all income made by current and former elected politicians.
  • Pot Holes: Your tax dollars at making your vehicle not work!
  • Local governments don’t like to pay for cops unless it’s with overtime.
  • Cops are corrupt the world over, the difference is what it takes to corrupt them, a $20 bribe or a few hours over time.
  • Don’t do drugs, don’t fund CIA black ops.

Politricks

  • Al Gore says, “I did not have sexual relations with that women.”
  • General McChrystal must have been on McMeth when he agreed to do the Rolling Stones interview.
  • You know you are in the wrong side of every aisle when you have to apologize for your apology.
  • I think vuvuzelas should be allowed and be part of the political discussions, debates, and town hall meetings.
  • Vuvuzela for president 2012!!!
  • Free Weev!!!

Propagandon’t

  • Some Americans remember the Alamo but many of those that do don’t remember why they should have remember it in the first place.
  • There is no freedom just propagandom.
  • Fear is a virus of the mind!
  • Control the supply, and you control the demand and the price you can charge.

War Racket

  • Congratulations Afghanistan, for being the longest American war!!!
  • Art is my favorite weapon.
  • War will lead us to energy independence!!!

Question

  • If your life can be condensed to one photo would be a still life study or an out of focus action shot?
  • Why would you need a tool to open this toolset I just bought?
  • If Steve Jobs would reinvent the wheel what would it be like?
  • If he built a better mouse trap would the mice become Apple fanboys?
  • If it’s not fun, is it worth it?
  • Who needs a StairMaster when you have a kid and a set of stairs?
  • What kind of characters hang out at the corner of East Sesame Street and MLK Blvd? Crackhead Monster? Beto y Kike? El Memo? Big Pimp?

Randumb

  • Zombies replicate by infection, the Borg by assimilation, can you imagine a zombie-Borg hybrid? A zomborg? Brains are futile.
  • This Aquafina water bottle claims to be made with 50% less plastic. How does that make it an eco-bottle?
  • In no country, culture, time, or parallel universe does nagging make things better.
  • I love digitally, um either turned on or turned off.
  • Just because you don’t see eye to eye with someone does mean you can go toe to toe with them.
  • You know how meterologists name hurricanes after people’s name, they should be named after fictional characters…
  • If hurricane would be names after fictional characters you know Hurricane Anakin would grow into one mean mofo of a storm.
  • Being honest isn’t a fault.
  • The new anti-Semitic is the anti-Semexican.
  • Forget snakes in a plane, I got ants in my car!
  • This TV diner is a rerun.
  • I don’t no the meaning of the word know.
  • Trafffuuuck!!!
  • FML SMH WTF LOL
  • From preschool to postdoc, school is universally for fools.
  • To me an expresso machine is like a time machine.
  • You are no better than those whom you’ve deem the worst.

Overheard

  • OH: Awww, that gansta cute.
  • OH: It’s business not celebrityness.
  • OH: Who touched my iPad, there’s a smudge on the screen.
  • OH: We are getting it done. It will be done. So it’s done.

Craporation

  • In the US, corporations are always right.
  • The BP Oil Spill is so large that it is thinking of running for president 2012 as a Republican. Campaign platform will be: Drill Baby Spill
  • Just like the brain is the biggest sex organ the biggest oil company is JP Morgan.
  • When life gives you an oil spill you make off like a bandit.
  • Al Qeada are a bunch of incompetents, BP, Golden Sachs, Monsanto can do more harm in one day than a bunch shoes and whitey tighties.
  • Oil executives think they are as slick as the oil they spill.
  • The BP oil spill is as large as the state of Vermont. The BP oil spill is so large, it should be it’s own state, Oilzona.

World Cup

  • World Cup: it’s not about how well you play, it’s how well the referees can see.
  • World Cup: The outcome of the World Cup is determined way in advance of the opening ceremony.
  • World Cup: FIFA fo dumb!
  • World Cup: each game should three score, one for goals each team has made and another for the number of bad calls made by the refs.
  • World Cup: it’s not about how many goals you score, it’s about how many goals the refs will qualify.
  • The World Cup has as much integrity as Chicago politics.

Futurism

  • In the future, robots will go to your local polling place and vote electronically for you and then an algorithm will declare the winner.
  • In the future, you can pick up FDA grade heroin at the condiment aisle at your local super market.
  • The future has let me down in terms of jet pack technology and space travel.
  • The future tastes like plastic.

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