There are some funny people on Twitter. Whenever I find a funny, witty, or thought provoking I usually retweet it and favorite it. Here is a small collection of recent tweets that stoop out to me.
- @nickbilton: Off record chat w/ Facebook employee. Me: How does Zuck feel about privacy? Response: [laughter] He doesn’t believe in it.
- @stephenkruiser: Pants are important. Sometimes.
- @crazeegeekchick: So grateful for salary and for direct deposit. AT least one thing is consistent in my life :)
- @puredanger: wife: "why are these blankets always on the floor!?" me: "gravity?"
- @godolcevita: You have to be where you are at to get where you are going….
- @cdixon: It’s getting to the point that when a big company calls something "open" == they are about to screw you. Need a new word for actually open.
- @ericaogrady: What to know if he’s a Man or a Boy? Make eye contact with him and hold his gaze. If he looks away, he’s still a boy.
- @Archimage: I would rather throw down than throw up.
- @nandoism: it smells awesome in Brooklyn. like fresh rain mixed with urine. aaah.
- @michaelg: Overheard: "Zuck sounds like Lex Luthor" #f8
- @Archimage: This tweet is (c) 2010 Archimage. All rights reserved. Any retweeting is a violation of applicable laws.
- @KaciBrownMonroe: Don’t look at me; look into me. To the deepest, most real, places in my heart and soul.
- @stevenharman: Apple, if you’re going to limit how many computers I can play my content on, please allow me to de-authorize one I no longer have access to.
- @wilshipley: Why do DJs wear earphones? Isn’t the music loud enough? I can hear it fine from down here.
- @girlonetrack: I’ve spent the last four hours immersed in non-stop politics: eight times as long I as give foreplay. Which I guess shows my priorities…
- @joeracer: FUCK YOU IRS. Seriously.
- @tedneward: Oracle’s sponsoring IronMan 2?!? What next, Microsoft Star Trek 2? "Mr Spock, where do you want to go today?"
- @thekarladam: 290.2 MB of space for Adobe Reader!? WTF is wrong over at Adobe!?
- @bkorte: Dear Facebook: Stop using my default notification sound for your push alerts on my iPhone – be original and come up with your own sound.
- @hotforwords: The Average Woman Dates 24 Men Before Settling Down.
- @dotjenna: Is it possible to hate someone you love? #love #hate
- @shanselman: I need an online alias for some programming projects. I wonder if Slim Shady or Sasha Fierce are taken…
- @MsLizziA: I mean Kick Ass SUCKED ASS!
- @techknow: Is there such a thing as tofu salmon?
- @markramsey: how the hell can ticketmaster charge a $10 convenience charge on $25 tickets, I’m buying them online, making it convenient for them!
- @ebarrera: It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase ‘As pretty as an Airport’ appear.
- @thediva: Some times women’s clothing annoy me. I wear 3 different sizes depending on the brand. It’s so insane of retailers to play head games
- @adactio: This is my browser; there are many like it but this one is mine.
- @ehthayer: My body clock needs an hour change button too
- @RobotDeathSquad: I think there is a direct relationship between the number of tattoos and bad waitressing.
- @gkmaestro: Software involves sending more emails that writing code!!!
- @meph: Why do computer programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas? Because Oct(31) = Dec(25). #geekfun
- @godolcevita: I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- @timacummins: Worry is a brain drain.
- @NicoleJordan: Instead of asking what is the return on investment, we should be asking what’s the return on objectives? #digiday
- @swedal: Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?