In Da Near Future

In da future, Google will be embedded in all your appliance devices much like Intel is embedded in most PCs. Instead of “Intel Inside” marketing campaign Google will brand this feature as “Google Everywhere.” Imagine yourself watching television with a Google Everywhere device, Google would know what television program you where watching, and in turn Google would know all the keywords, phrases, actors, trivia about the programs you watch. So if you query a term after watching a show, it would know additional context by known what you had been watching, listening, reading the last few days prior your search queries.

In da future, most of your Facebook friends will be Turing complete AI sponsored by national and international brands. Forget your good ol’ peer-pressure, these systems will barrage you with laser guided physiologically-based peer-pressure. You will prompted to buy products even before you know you need them.

In da future, in addition to having named all ballparks and arenas, companies will start naming state parks, monuments, and even interstate roads after their corporate trademarks and products. For example, Yosemite National Park will be known as the HP National Park. Golden Gate Bridge will be renamed to Bank of America Bridge. Highway 101 will be renamed as IBM Highway.

In da future, you will get college credit for playing and passing video games. You will get a certificate and degree if you pass resource management related games like Starcraft or Hell’s Kitchen. Your employer will conduct employee evaluations by having employees play games like Brain Age, if you are said to have a brain age ten years older than your actual age you will be fired. Video game simulations are not just for jet fighter pilots, but virtual game simulations will be a standard hiring and training tool in most companies.

In da future, since time is money and money is time, and we all are going to be broke and have neither time nor money, people will try to monetize and monopolize other resources and unalienable rights such as sunshine, privacy, quietness, tranquility, freedom, love, beauty, clean air, clean water. The UN proclaim ownership of all natural resources and enforce cap and trade restrictions.

In da future, happy meals will come with tablet PCs as the toy. Network computer and tablet PCs will be priced in the sub-$100 range. Just like free phones, these computers will be given away with the purchase of a wireless plan or happy meal.

In da future, books will be written not to be read by people but for Google juice. The content that lives in the long tail, the works of literature that few people, mostly researcher, ever read will be read and copied more for Google adsense than for archiving the written word for posterity.

In da future, higher education will include the following legalese… ¬†For entertainment purpose only. College tuition will increase to new records. The University of California, will rename itself to the University of China as the UC system makes room for more out of state foreign students because they can make more money charging out of state fees. It will not be uncommon for students to have $500,000 in college loan debt with $45,000/year job yet you will need a high school diploma, a BS, and MBA, and a PHD to get hired for a job.

In da future, your car will have a black box and you will be taxed for the miles you drive on the roads you drive and if you drive at peak times. People will also be required to wear an embedded black box to measure your breaths and tax you for the carbon dioxide you exhale. So it will be more economical to stay home, watching television with Google Everywhere enabled programming.

In da future, you will be taxed 40% (in income taxes, sales taxes, tariffs, fees, surcharges) and you will pay 40% in health care (insurance, co-pay, deductible, drugs) and you will have 10% to live on, which means you will be driving your same old 1992 Camry. In a way, the future looks like a capitalist version of Cuba.

In the future, most laws will be drafted, amended, voted, and enacted in behind closed doors, in private as state secrets. The laws will be copyrighted and kept as state secret, charges will be brought to a person in secret without making available evidence or witnesses to the defense of said person. Private companies will police and monitor networks, airwaves, public areas for any offense to fine citizens. In addition to enforcing laws, private companies will be able to draft laws for the advantage of their profit margin.

In da future, communism will beat out capitalism at its own game when China buys every major landmark in the world, including the Rockefeller Center, Paramount Pictures, GM, etc. We have a huge trade deficit with China and it keeps growing each year. China has to let us borrow money for use to be able to buy Chinese made products.

In the future, the TSA will force passengers to fly barefoot and with nothing more than a medical examination robe. Because of the shoe bomber, crotch bomber, and hat bomber the TSA will enforce tough dress code for passengers.

In da future, the IRS will tax piggy banks.

In da future, cell phone plans will be ad supported where you will receive daily text message with codes for discounts at the places that you frequent. These phones will automatically gather the geolocations of every place you visit and from this data, contact lists, and data in the phone will generate targeted ads.

Vancouver 2010 Olympics Opening Ceremony

The Olympic opening ceremony is a tradition and an opportunity for the host country to show revel itself to the world. China spared no expense with the opening ceremony of the Beijing 2008 Summer Olympics. China went as far as to impose restriction on traffic, change the weather with cloud seeding, and brought an army, literally, of performers. In contrast, the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics where a more tone down event plagued with technical difficulties.

It has to be said that the death of the Georgian luge rider Nodar Kumaritashvili could have been prevent. Nodar died during a practice run, the video of his death has been shared, tweeted, and commented online. There has been a large amount of luge crashes where luger sustained concussions and memory loss. I am no luge expert, loogie yes, luge no but I know that for many athletes just attending the Olympics and walking in the Parade of Nations is a highlight of their Olympic careers.

The Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics started with a count down. Then a snow border slides down the stadium and jumps through the Olympic rings to welcome everybody to the winter games. The Royal Mounted Police brought out a large Canadian flag. As the mounties settle in place, there was a procession of First Nations. The ceremony started out with four distinct Canadian first nations welcoming and greeting the audience to the Olympic games in their indigenous language. The four host first nations stood near four large ice totems. The number four is prevalent in the symbolism of the opening ceremony. The procession of indigenous nations included the Inuit, the first nations of the prairies, the first nations of the east. It felt like an Olympic Pow Wow as the members of the First Nations were dressed in full regalia and danced.

After the Parade of the First Nations, the Parade of the Nations begins. One red carpet aspect of the Parade of the Nations that I enjoy is seeing the different custom from each different delegation. The delegation from Azerbaijan had snow pants that looked liked someone threw up on a Hawaiian shirts. The Cayman Islands represented with one athlete. The whole of China with a population of 1.3 Billion has a contingent of 90 athletes. The Czech Republic brought 92 athletes with a population of a little over 10 million, they also won the gold medal with the worst outfit, beating Azerbaijan. Finland had what looked as a winter wonderland camouflage maze on their jacket. French were the most stylish, a white parka jacket with the team colors on the side. The Georgian wore black armband in memory of their fallen team mate Nodar Kumaritashvili who died crash his sled in a test run. India with 1.1 billion people only had 3 athletes and they were warring brown fez looking hats. The outfits of the Italian team were black Fascist looking coats with beige turtle necks underneath, I didn’t know if they were the Italian Olympic delegation of the secret police. The USA represented with 216 athletes strong wearing Ralph Lauren’s Polo parkas with beanies. The beanies had little motifs of mouses and small American flags.

After the Parade of the Nations, the opening ceremony was more poetic than spectacular. A single Native American wearing nothing but white clothes enters the arena. More First Nations people emerge in what seems like snow, like nomads in a storm in the Northwestern territories of Canada. Then the aurora borealis appeared, projected on a canvases that dropped from the ceiling. Then a giant polar bear, made of ice and lights, like a constellation emerges from the ground. Then the four totem poles become tree trunks and the aurora borealis become the branches of trees. At this point, modern Europeans dance contemporary dance as Sarah McLaughlin sings.

I thought the ceremony was over but then a blue and white canoe descended from the ceiling with a fiddler on the canoe casting a show on a image of a full moon. A fiddler in the canoe challenges his shadow casted on the moon to play the violin. Maple leaves litter the floor as violin players and dancer dance a la river dance. In the next scene, slopes emerge from the floor, three ring of skaters go endlessly around the what seems like representations of mountains. Skiers, snow boarders, and other athletes surf down the slope of the mountain that emerged from the center of the arena. Then out of the center of the mountain, a Canadian emerges and recites slam poetry… At the end of the ode to Canadian identity, torch bearers gather in the shape of a maple leaf… Oh, Please. Oh, Canada.

The 2010 Olympics Opening Ceremony can’t officially begin without boring speeches by the head of the International Olympic Committee. After some speeches and then more speeches the games officially begin. Four famous Canadian athletes emerge as torch bearer gather around the arena, with Wayne Gretzky being the last one. After a minute pause, three pillars emerge from the floor. Four should have emerged but due to technical difficulties only three emerged. The pillars move and join to form an ice crystal structure. The torch bearers light the cauldron and it lights up into a torch of fire and ice.

Google’s Super Bowl XLIV Commercial

Google ran an ad on Super Bowl XLIV for their search engine. The ad told a romantic story with a series of search queries but it was not as iconic as Apple’s 1984 Super Bowl ad but to privacy advocates it reminds them of Big Brother.

Google ran an advertisement during Super Bowl XLIV between the New Orleans Saints and the Indianapolis Colts. Google ran the Search Stories: Parisian Love on national television during the Super Bowl broadcast. The video received over a millions views on YouTube as of this writing. The ad is part of Google’s Search Stories campaign. You can view other views of the Search Stories campaign on the Google’s searchstories user account on YouTube.

The Parisian Love ad starts off with Google’s iconic search box. Over a series of search queries entered into the search box, the ad pieces together the love story between an American student studying abroad in France with a local Parisian girl. The queries speak volumes of this intimate courtship, but fails to bring up the privacy concerns voiced by privacy advocates.

The first query in the ad reads “study abroad paris france.” The following query reveals that the student is new to the City of Lights, the query reads “cafe near the louve” and this demonstrates how Google search corrects the spelling of the Louvre. The ad also demonstrates Google’s translation feature where you type a expression in a foreign language and have Google translate it into another. Another query, “chocolate shops paris france,” demonstrates Google’s local feature which lists business names, addresses, and phone numbers that match your search query. Another great Google feature in the Super Bowl ad is how if you enter a flight number Google will return the flight status on the search page. The last search query in the ad is “How to assemble a crib.”

The Google Super Bowl ad has inspired a series of parody ads, such as one titled Is Tiger Feeling Lucky Today? which plays makes fun of Tiger Wood’s infidelities. It is important to note that Google does store search queries and can easily piece together the search stories of your life, whether you are searching for a new job or long lost friend.

Retweet January 2010

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in January 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Obamanation

  • Obama can’t claim transparency if key questions are off limits.
  • I think the Apple iPad announcement got more press than Obama’s State of the Union.

Got Gov?

  • In the future we will vote by texting the candidate of our choice to 90GOV.
  • Which is the most secretive, the CIA or the FED?
  • Large corporations such as Google have a foreign policy, they should openly hire a VP of State.
  • Some cities have more traffic cameras than they do stop sings.
  • The US government will install Wyclef Jean as dictator of Haiti.
  • Haiti Donations: Tiger Woods $3 (Million), Gisele $1.5, Sandra Bullock $1, Brangelina $1, and the whole of China $1 and lead laden toys and toxic toothpaste
  • Your government does not want you to think since most government officials don’t.

Econemy

  • A bridge tolls are a racket.
  • If you build it, they will tax it.
  • Greed precedes the downfall of civilizations.
  • The fast, easy, simple way to make money: get a job.

Propagandon’t

  • Haiti is the new New Orleans.
  • Power to the politicians, bailout to the bankers!
  • I am going to write a new childrens book: The ABCs of the CIA
  • National security is a false religion.

Question

  • If Governor Schwarzenegger’s tenure was a movie what genre would it be, horror, sci-fi, thriller, or gore flick?
  • If Jesus was born today would he be a carpenter? Chef? Programmer? I know a guy named Jesus and he is a gardener who sends money to Mexico.
  • Which is worse, terrorist or TSA thugs?
  • Does national security trump civil rights, constitutional law, and international treaties?
  • What would you pay for freedom? Can you put it on lay away?
  • What do you call an optimal optimist? Optimist Prime?
  • A pessimist is someone that sees the glass half empty, what do you call someone that sees it 3/4 empty?
  • Are you a paper chaser or a paper pusher?
  • Why is it that fast food is the slowest to digest?
  • Are you proactive or reactive?
  • Are you dependent, independent, or interdependent of others?

Randumb

  • Power to the Party People.
  • It’s been raining for four days and four nights, that’s like 10% of a perfect storm of biblical proportion.
  • Not sure if I should take my car or jet ski to work today. Part of the freeway have flooded after two days of rain.
  • Just how stores have a line for 15 items or less, they should have another line when you have 15 coupons or more.
  • If ignorance is bliss, then stupidity must be enlightenment.
  • The truth should fear no question and no question should fear any answer.
  • Life experiences can not be made more efficient, otherwise you mis the point.
  • In the future everyone will have 15 minutes of fame, and every company will have their own branded smart phone device.
  • Your happiness should not depend on other people’s decisions.
  • Love is not a strategy.
  • Show love, not hurt!!
  • Love is a fame monster.
  • Dreams for sale. Like new. Never achieved.
  • I nominate “I’m bluffing with my muffin” as the motto/tagline for 2009.
  • I am waking unofficial autobiography for self.

Craporation

  • There should be Freedom of Information Act for corporations. I want to know everything that Google knows about me and how that info is used

Retweet December 2009

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in December 2009. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Obamanation

  • Why is Obama a bigger disappointment than Bush? Because Obama promised hope and change and delivered on none, and Bush didn’t.
  • Soon Bush’s approval rating will seem high compared to Obama’s.
  • @whitehouse does the president pay taxes on all the freebies he gets on the job?
  • Zombies want to eat brains, Zombama wants to eat your bonus.

Got Gov?

  • Lest we forget, the great democracies in human history were formed while slavery was allowed legally and morally.
  • If our pocket constitutions, fourth of July flags, and other patriotic souvenirs are made in China, what stops them from making our laws too?
  • In the future, the TSA will force passenger to fly barefoot and with nothing more than a medical examination robe.
  • The CIA has renditioned Hope to Gitmo.
  • In the future, most laws will be drafted, amended, voted, and enacted in behind closed doors, in private as state secret.
  • Which is worse, a mole or a rat?
  • The biggest fallacy in politics is that voters have to pick sides between donkeys and elephants. I vote for me, not for some bureaucrat.
  • The state will replace free will with fear, ideas with propaganda, love with obedience.
  • The state wants to take what nature has given, free will, and replace it with product placements.
  • The US constitutions is being rewritten to We the Special Interest Lobbyists…
  • If you complain about government, you will need to pay a protest tax.

Econemy

  • The law of conservation of matter states that matter can’t be created or destroyed out of nothing, money does not have the same law.
  • Capital is another word for money. So capitalism means moneyism. Money is said to be the root of all evil…
  • The Copenhagen Summit has been hijacked by multi-national corporations that it should simply be renamed to Corpenhagen.
  • The longest standing illusion is that of currency.
  • US Treasury’s New Motto: In credit ratings we trust.
  • If money talks then credit rating hollers.
  • Wall street is playing musical chair with your money.
  • Boom or Bust: For every boom there is an equal and opposite bust.
  • The book Too Big To Fail looks Too Big To Read.
  • There is no better deal than paying what you can actually afford for what you actually need.
  • Boom or Bust: For every boom there is an equal and opposite bust.

Propagandon’t

  • I’m not so worry about climate change as I am worried about magnetic pole change, which has also happened in the past.
  • A world whose climate does not change is a lifeless/dead world.
  • Do you believe in climate change? I do, the climate changes throughout the year… We call it seasons.
  • Global Warming: An Inconvenient Truth or An Inconvenient Data? #climategate
  • A critical step in the scientific method is fudging the data. #climategate

War Racket

  • We may not have troops in the ground in Pakistan, but there is a war being fought there.
  • The Unreported War: Pakistan
  • The hearts and minds are not won with a war on terror, but with a war on apathy.
  • We torture extremists by playing pop music. Our culture is terrorism.
  • Taylor Swift music is perfect for interrogating the Taliban and other enemy combatants.

Question

  • Which was the worst navigator, the captain of the Titanic or the Pilot of the Hindenburg?
  • Which is better, win now and lose later or lose now and eventually win?
  • Is love a medicine, vitamin, or supplement?
  • Who hasn’t even started with holiday gift shopping?
  • Do you have nothing to hide or nothing to fear?
  • How many man hours go into putting up and then putting down Christmas decorations?
  • How much money and trees are wasted each year on gift wrapping paper? Something that lasts 10 seconds before it is ripped up.
  • Is it weird if your mother in law gives you mistletoe on Facebook?
  • How much data storage capacity was created last year? How much original data was created?
  • Why isn’t everything like riding a bike?
  • Which is worse, a control freak or clean freak?
  • Is it the thought that counts or the cost?
  • Which movie was worse, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra or Transformers: The Revenge of the Fallen?
  • Which do you prefer, white chocolate or dark chocolate?

Randumb

  • My new year’s resolution is to come up with a better new year’s resolution next year.
  • I don’t understand why I am awake if all the mathematical models in my sleep simulation have me asleep.
  • Some people agree to disagree but others just plain out disagree to agree.
  • If we are going to agree to disagree why not just agree that I am right.
  • Stuff crust is the best thing since sliced bread.
  • Big girls love by the pound.
  • News: 40% ads, 40% editorial, %10 CIA misinformation, %5 incorrect, 3% gossip, 1% real news.
  • I BE AWESOME AND SO IS YOU.
  • You can’t hurry up time.
  • Life is a numbers game.
  • I’m rocking in the rain.
  • Rome didn’t burn in a day.
  • Listening to what in 100 years will be categorized as Late Period Classical Gangsta Rap.
  • Old clowns never die, they just become childrens’ nightmares.
  • Love is a whore.
  • If you get it you get it if not forget.
  • If I was a ghost, I be the shy ghost in the library reading self help books to afraid to booing anyone for fear of being shushed.

Overheard

  • OH: You are so much fun when I am drunk.
  • OH: the only criticism I have about you is that you don’t take any criticism well.

Craporation

  • The only satisfied AT&T customer is the CIA.