There are some funny people on Twitter. Whenever I find a funny, witty, or thought provoking I usually retweet it and favorite it. Here is a small collection of recent tweets that stoop out to me.

• @davenavarro6767: Wearing only black means never having to separate your laundry.
• @Archimage: Someone should invent a Rubics Cube alarm clock that only shuts off when you solve it.
• @joelcomm: Calling someone closed-minded is our way of saying others refuse to think like we do.
• @vl: Work. Life. Sleep. You can only pick two.
• @AndrePang: i feel like even more of a geek busting out the thesaurus when naming functions and variables…
• @alissa: That which I disdained for lunch has now become my dinner.
• @TheDiva: Dear @Twitter : Why haven’t you verified MY Account yet? How will people know it’s the real me!? Step to it please :)
• @Bauart: It takes a village to ignore the idiots.
• @om: OH: "coding without testing is like sex without protection. U pay the price later" only in Palo Alto u hear stuff like that
• @KentBeck: phrase for the day: "steaming pile of opportunity"
• @iMagSJ: iphone, I tweet, ice cream!
• @bdeter: Just ordered a new Macbook Pro. So expect Apple to announce a new model or massive price reduction soon.
• @digitalangel: 140 characters would not even begin to explain how pissed off I am right now.
• @mousewords: According to the 2nd law of thermodynamics, you can’t move particles without using extra energy. Even in physics, there’s no get-rich-quick.
• @ponet: “A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.” #Anon
• @karina: OH "the older I get, the more guys just bug me."
• @ruthakers: Damn hotels and their false advertisements. Kids stay free. Apparently that’s just until you check out. Then you have to take them with you
• @davio1962: If great minds think alike, what do feeble minds do? I’m asking for my wife and boss.
• @zeldman: A man can never apologize enough, although he can apologize too much.
• @thebenbrooks: I’m glad they outlawed texting while driving. I can finally get some use out of this calligraphy set.
• @peterc: OH: "First rule of negotiation: the first guy to give a number loses."
• @Kcatz: To the world you could just be that one person, but to one person you could be his/her world :)
• @Encosia: Knowing how to find device drivers and software updates is the modern equivalent of knowing how to change a tire.
• @thebrandbuilder: Having a Social Media presence nowadays is merely the equivalent of what being listed in the yellow pages meant ten years ago.
• @mklopez: I tried to contain myself, but I escaped.
• @rasmus: Persimmon are $2.99 each at Manhattan supermarkets. That would make my tree in my backyard worth about $1M using Valley valuation math.
• @Archimage: If you drink Fosters beer and follow it by Bass it tastes like bananas.
• @PeterSantilli: Homeland Security incompetence is as dangerous to America as terrorists