Here are some favorite quotes on gambling, weight loss, and reading. On gambling, just remember that the house always wins and when you gambling with the market Wall Street always wins.

Last year people won more than $1 billion playing poker. And casinos made $27 billion just by being around those people. – Samantha Bee

I like to play blackjack. I’m not addicted to gambling, I’m addicted to sitting in a semicircle. – Mitch Hedberg

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. – Steven Wright

There are as many ways to lose weight as there are to gain weight, and many just focus on the lose and don’t manage how they gain.

I highly recommend worrying. It is much more effective than dieting. – William Powell

We never repent having eating too little. – Thomas Jefferson

The toughest part of being on a diet is shutting up about it. – Gerald Nachman

I often say that a good book seems to read the mind of the reader as the reader enacts the book in his mind.

I can’t write without a reader. Its precisely like a kiss – you can’t do it alone. – John Cheever

Reading, real reading, is a strenuous and pleasurable contact sport. – Maureen Howard

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. – Henry Youngman