Famous Excuses

We all have to use what we think are legit reasons but that often sound like famous excuses to get out of something. Here is a list of top famous excuses taken from the recent Twitter trend hashtag #famousexcuses.

  • @lolprez: I didn’t inhale. #famousexcuses
  • @mizcici: #famousexcuses oh him?? that was when we broke
  • @_GiGi1225: #famousexcuses uhhh SORRY! This is my last piece of gum.. =/
  • @rain_again: #famousexcuses It was only one sheep……
  • @DJVeLz: #famousexcuses I just get girls numbers to put them in my text blast.
  • @Jessicarr2005: #famousexcuses …. im sorry but my boyfriend dont like me giving my number out …hahahaha i love that one
  • @robcii: #FamousExcuses we were working late on a project
  • @Jarrett85: #famousexcuses I overslept I can’t make the meeting
  • @shawnyL: #FamousExcuses I’m fat or thick bcuz I want 2 be fat. (Stop lying 2 urself) Ha!
  • @DarkyHoneyBee: #famousexcuses “I feel sick, I won’t go out tonight” (but u go dancing with other guys)
  • @beenawhoo: “I’ve been busy.” #famousexcuses
  • @Esther_Baxter: #FamousExcuses These are my homeboy’s jeans I don’t know how that empty condom wrapper got in there
  • @Trinigui: #famousexcuses i came by to get my sweater
  • @iazsha: #famousexcuses I don’t know what happened she just kissed me, there was nothing I could do..
  • @soo_beautiiful: #famousexcuses how’d that get there
  • @momsthwrd: #famousexcuses We’re just friends, I was just helping her out, it wasn’t me, you’re paranoid, I needed more affection, we were on a break
  • @BigEddieStyle: #Famousexcuses I just got your voicemail. AT&T has been acting up.
  • @THEREALDJCLUE: #FamousExcuses “I turn my phone off at night because I be needing my rest”
  • @MsAshliMonroe: #FamousExcuses I feel asleep at my homeboy house that’s why I ain’t come home and my phone died
  • @ImFlyNY: #famousexcuses he is just a friend he doesnt even like me like that…………Bitch do i look like boo boo the fool
  • @Nicoleebaby29: #famousexcuses I got a car but its in the shop right now!!
  • @itsgaby: #famousexcuses it’s not you it’s me
  • @serkerd: #famousexcuses "look, i love you too but as a friend. I dont wanna ruin our friendship."
  • @Esther_Baxter: #FamousExcuses Naw that was my sister that picked up the phone….she was just playin
  • @PuRp_StAr: #famousexcuses ” ii really do likee youu , its just the whole love thinq isnt for mee . “
  • @lil_lacy713: @Keyoncash #famousexcuses im not a machine
  • @Esther_Baxter: #FamousExcuses I only wear fake diamonds just in case somebody decides robs me
  • @Esther_Baxter: #FamousExcuses I was drunk and it was dark in the club
  • @BKsAceBoogie: #famousexcuses babe she told me it was gonna be a house party…I didn’t know it was only the 2 of us…
  • @GLOREEZY: #famousexcuses its a recession!! lol
  • @UrRideNdieBitch: #FamousExcuses I dont know who that is calling me baby . Im famous i guess u know i rap a little lmaoooo
  • @SenatorMilz: #famousexcuses [female says:] I never did this before!
  • @limitedHBdawl: #famousexcuses I live at home to save money up
  • @BabyCak3z: #famousexcuses we’re just friends
  • @jazzyLoveu: #famousexcuses if u get on top it feel bigger…….what??

Retweet July 2009

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in June 2009. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Government and Politics

  • My patriotism comes out of the Red, White, and Blue!
  • Fox should make a Obama Teleprompter Bloopers television special.
  • Michelle Obama looks more like Secret Service than the First Lady.
  • Al Sharpton can make any question, like paper or plastic, into a question about race.
  • Science is just as full of dogma as religion.
  • I’ve never seen more adherence to dogma than at a political convention, such as the DNC.
  • #freespeech is only free when you have others pay for it with their lives!
  • #freespeech is not really free, it is just a cheap commodity traded for other rights and privileges from time to time.
  • It is not about what your country can do for you, or what you can do for your country, but what your country will force you to do.
  • I don’t know which is worst a Police State or a Yellow Alert Terror State where even satire is considered a form of terrorism.
  • The state is building a jail without walls were we are all the inmates.
  • It used to be that you could live off the grid, but the smart grid is gonna getya!
  • It justed to be that you were innocent until proven guilty, now you are innocent until you ask for your Miranda rights.
  • Dubai is a oil drenched mirage in the middle of desert.
  • Now I know why the People’s Army of China is called as such, because China often mobilized the army against their own people!

Economy

  • During a recession, a pundit’s two cents are not worth as much as they used to.
  • It used to take money to make money, so people borrowed money… It used to take money to make money, now it takes debt to make money…
  • Instead of a loan modification, you need a spending modification!
  • When you bank on hope for change what you end up bankrupt.
  • Wall Street is the fourth branch of the government.

Real News

  • 30% of the news are dumb down metaphors so people can understand the concepts involved.
  • Real news often get unreported while celebrity gossip is treated as real news.
  • Happiness is contagious and classified at pandemic alert level 5, says World Health Organization. Happiness strain can mutate to joy!

Questions

  • Have you ever meet a veggiterian that doesn’t like veggitables? I have, a fat one at that!
  • Which social media site (Twitter/Facebook/MySpace) will reach 1 Billion users first?
  • If a baker’s dozen is more than 12, how many beers are in a brewer’s dozen?
  • What is synergy really mean? Is like kinetic energy, potential energy? Does synergy = BS*MC^2?
  • Is fake online identity theft a problem like real life identity theft?
  • What English word has no vowels?
  • Where in the world is the other half of half done?
  • What sort of character are you: a letter, number, or dingbat?
  • What is your favorite chocolate, milk, plain, white, dark?
  • Are you a bacon man or a sausage man?
  • How many ideas are created in a day?
  • Which do you prefer, geek, nerd, or techie?
  • Do you have to be aggressive, shrewd, and a plain old jerk to be a good business person?

Randumb Wisdom

  • Saying no to negativity means saying yes to positivity, even to negative people. Being negative to negative people is what makes you bitter and them happy.
  • Some people measure life by their age, others by the size of their bank account, others by number of titles, I measure life by heart rate!
  • I don’t know if I am doing statistics or pledging to a sorority, these formulae have all sorts of Greek symbols.
  • Even standing still, my life moves at 165 BPM.
  • For any two or more dots, someone will try to connect them.
  • Only one dot is required to perceived another, which is enough to try to connect them.
  • Downloading on the digital down low.
  • Pitching a movie idea: The Attack of the Genetically Modified Teddy Terrorist Zombie Cyber Bear from Outer Space.
  • I often say that a good book seems to read the mind of the reader as the reader enacts the book in his mind.
  • At the drive thru thinking about the movie last night at the drive inn.
  • Medium is the new large.
  • Our wisdom is based on our ignorance.
  • A nerds biggest threat is another nerd.
  • Rhythm is not a dancer! Rhythm is a hacker!
  • Don’t even waste time or energy to trivialize the trivial.
  • It is not about wanting more material goods, it is about getting more out what you already have.
  • Taking from a community is not being part of the community.
  • The future is so bright you’ll need to wear sunglasses, mostly because of the depleted ozone layer. The future is also smoggy so you need face mask.
  • What used to be a universal right is now a paid privilege.
  • If you make jokes about one race you are a racist, if you make jokes of all races you are a comedian.
  • Don’t buy clothes from skinny bitches!
  • Bacon is the greatest meat since sliced ham!
  • A big part of going shopping is window shopping and people watching.
  • Be Unique. Be opinionated. Be everywhere. Be passionate. Be true. Be you.
  • Follow your muse.
  • In Vegas everybody smokes, either first hand or second hand.
  • When in Vegas, common questions include… Until when are you in Vegas? How long you staying? Seen any show?
  • Just how it requires kissing many frogs to find a prince, it takes shopping with many bitches to find your BFF.

Axioms for Business and Life

Reading Hermanisms: Axioms for Business and Life I noticed that the author broke one of his cardinal rules. John Herman, the author of Hermanisms, broke hermanism #39 Ego vs Income. Too much ego, like naming some common sense advice after yourself, can cost you sales revenue, because you come off as a schmuck. The book Hermanisms is a collection of 77 axioms on business, management, and entrepreneurship. Each axiom is followed by a page or two explaining the logic and experience from which the author learned the axiom. Many of the axioms, by themselves, can be translated to common sense, which John Herman just appropriated to himself. We have all heard advice and words of encouragement like “failure isn’t fatal”, “If you fall down, get back up”, or “If it were easy, everybody would be doing it.”

Out of the book, here are some of my favorite axioms from the book.

  • Find a way to cut costs without cutting corners.
  • Costs of goods sold is the most commonly misunderstood concept in business failures.
  • Not knowing your real margins can kill you.
  • Know math or no money.
  • Knowing how hard it is to make money makes it easier to make money.
  • The truth is, even if you have nothing, you still have something to lose.
  • What you learn may be worth more than what you make.
  • If you define success as giving it your best effort, you can be successful every day.
  • Experience always costs you something, and it is always worth the cost.
  • Respecting employees costs zero dollars and pays hug returns.
  • Don’t expect to be able to run a marathon if you work out by only walking a block.
  • Expecting too much from others is too much for you to expect.
  • Know your own limits or your success will be limited.
  • Facing reality is sobering. Ignoring reality is like being drunk.
  • What did you do today to move the ball down the field?
  • Moving forward is better than moving sideways.
  • Are you making money or wasting time?
  • Plan for success, not failure.
  • Waiting for others to do it your way takes forever.

Here are some quotes from the book.

  • Gambling is about money management – and emotional management. Play Twenty-One in any casino and you will soon understand this.
  • Even if you have a winning hand, you can lose.
  • Just getting to work can be work.
  • Most entrepreneurs tend to think they don’t need directions.
  • People do one of two things when faced with a choice. They either do something to seek pleasure or do nothing to avoid pain.
  • My philosophy has always been to get my last customer to help me find my next customer.
  • If you want to succeed, you must understand that all of the world does not work at the same speed as you.
  • Don’t confuse activity with progress.
  • Don’t miss out on a chance to succeed just because you think it’s unlikely to happen.
  • But business doesn’t always reward activity; it rewards results.

On Gambling, Weight Loss, and Reading

Here are some favorite quotes on gambling, weight loss, and reading. On gambling, just remember that the house always wins and when you gambling with the market Wall Street always wins.

Last year people won more than $1 billion playing poker. And casinos made $27 billion just by being around those people. – Samantha Bee

I like to play blackjack. I’m not addicted to gambling, I’m addicted to sitting in a semicircle. – Mitch Hedberg

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. – Steven Wright

There are as many ways to lose weight as there are to gain weight, and many just focus on the lose and don’t manage how they gain.

I highly recommend worrying. It is much more effective than┬ádieting. – William Powell

We never repent having eating too little. – Thomas Jefferson

The toughest part of being on a┬ádiet is shutting up about it. – Gerald Nachman

I often say that a good book seems to read the mind of the reader as the reader enacts the book in his mind.

I can’t write without a reader. Its precisely like a kiss – you can’t do it alone. – John Cheever

Reading, real reading, is a strenuous and pleasurable contact sport. – Maureen Howard

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. – Henry Youngman