Which of the spiritual leaders of the world’s greatest religions would get more chicks, I mean responses, on an online classified adds. Jesus Christ was a rebel, he spoke out against the established Jewish leaders, he loved to travel, and didn’t really have a job. I think the ladies online would love this guy. I think Jesus was the original hippie, he preached universal love and had long hair. I think that Christ was a pimp with the ladies, and not a pimp in the biblical sense.
Buddha was like a three-hundred pound short dude. Yeah, he laughs a lot and chicks like to be around a fun loving guy. If he had a hog, Harley, I think that would be a better look for this big bald dude. If he had a Harley he could rewrite Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Here is what I think his ad would read like if he was looking for a hot date to reach nirvana with:
Non conventional hottie here! A little on the heavy set but I just like to crush a lot.
Krishna is your typical playa but remember to not hate the playa, hate the game. It is said that Krishna could please several milk maids at once, and as soon as one of them would get jealous he would leave her. Sounds kinda like a jerk. The ladies say, according to scripture, that he is a passionate giving lover. He is said to play with the hearts of a whole flock of cowherd girls. Anyways, this is what I think his add would read:
NSA fun. Boddy call, all you have to do is dial.
Before you go to the confessional after reading this, I will admit that this will sound like heresy to some ardent believers. I believe too, but I have been pretty much excommunicated from all of the world’s religions. I think I will like King Edward of England and start my own phony religion based on no moral grounds so I could marry a whore and make myself the patriarch of the church, you know like the Church of England.