• You have to put the cupcakes in the front seat like a person.
• You take more coffee breaks than Juan Valdez.
• There might not be dumb questions, but there are sure lazy ass questions.
• An idea that makes money, even if it doesn’t make any sense, will be considered a great idea. An idea is only dumb when it loses money.
• Some pop pills, I pop bottles.
• There are playas, hatas, and fakas.
• The sketch book I use most often, believe it or not, is post-it notepad.
• Don’t under estimate the value of a penny.
• It’s been raining all day, first cats, then dogs, now porcupines.
• I am drinking blueberry herbal tea. It must have more food coloring than herbs because after dipping it in hot water my tea turned purple.
• I got to many MySpace MySpies.
• Gotta learn so that you can earn.
• For some reason Taco Bell food tastes better, almost good, to me when I am sick.
• I’m in the seventh circle of LOLhell.
• Having lunch, eating free samples at Costco.
• 90% of facts on the internet are not checked!
• I think “Just nerd it up” is my new motto, a cross between “step it up” and “just do it.”
• The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything is not 42, that was a buffer overflow error, the answer is 420.
• It is hard for me be mean, but I work at it.
• Life has an equivalent of undo (ctrl+z), it is called sorry.
• At the dollar store, nothing is priced one dollar, they blame the price increase on the rising oil prices.
• At the dollar store where nothing is a dollar anymore, spoke with management, they want to rename it to the euro store.
• I found $10, i’m going on a dollar store shopping spree.
• The news is just another form of entertainment.
• Watching network news, first time in years. I thought I was watching news reruns. Apperantly they still don’t have peace in the middle east.
• If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, then a spray paint can is mightier than the pen and sword to the graffiti artist.
• Publishers need to think outside the content.
• It seems that some books sole purpose is to kill trees and confuse men, this is one fat physics book…
• All rap suffers from the same affliction of ghetto fabulous.
• Pound for pound McDonald’s must sell more buns than meat. The Big Mac seems two thirds bun.
• I saw a sign at McDonald’s that read, “Career Opportunities Inside.” I think that is an oxymoron.
• The soul of a trip is in the sole of your shoes.
• The more I schedule myself in a calendar, the less I know what day it is.
• If you live in a schedule, all you see is what you are running late to.
• I see no difference between a ticket scalper and a ticket broker.
• For some jobs you are said to have too much experience, but for others not enough. I guess there is a Goldilocks effect on experience.
• A pair of headphones is not supposed to be a boombox. Why have headphones if you gonna blast them so that others can hear cubicles away.

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