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  • You have to put the cupcakes in the front seat like a person.
  • You take more coffee breaks than Juan Valdez.
  • There might not be dumb questions, but there are sure lazy ass questions.
  • An idea that makes money, even if it doesn’t make any sense, will be considered a great idea. An idea is only dumb when it loses money.
  • Some pop pills, I pop bottles.
  • There are playas, hatas, and fakas.
  • The sketch book I use most often, believe it or not, is post-it notepad.
  • Don’t under estimate the value of a penny.
  • It’s been raining all day, first cats, then dogs, now porcupines.
  • I am drinking blueberry herbal tea. It must have more food coloring than herbs because after dipping it in hot water my tea turned purple.
  • I got to many MySpace MySpies.
  • Gotta learn so that you can earn.
  • For some reason Taco Bell food tastes better, almost good, to me when I am sick.
  • I’m in the seventh circle of LOLhell.
  • Having lunch, eating free samples at Costco.
  • 90% of facts on the internet are not checked!
  • I think “Just nerd it up” is my new motto, a cross between “step it up” and “just do it.”
  • The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything is not 42, that was a buffer overflow error, the answer is 420.
  • It is hard for me be mean, but I work at it.
  • Life has an equivalent of undo (ctrl+z), it is called sorry.
  • At the dollar store, nothing is priced one dollar, they blame the price increase on the rising oil prices.
  • At the dollar store where nothing is a dollar anymore, spoke with management, they want to rename it to the euro store.
  • I found $10, i’m going on a dollar store shopping spree.
  • The news is just another form of entertainment.
  • Watching network news, first time in years. I thought I was watching news reruns. Apperantly they still don’t have peace in the middle east.
  • If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, then a spray paint can is mightier than the pen and sword to the graffiti artist.
  • Publishers need to think outside the content.
  • It seems that some books sole purpose is to kill trees and confuse men, this is one fat physics book…
  • All rap suffers from the same affliction of ghetto fabulous.
  • Pound for pound McDonald’s must sell more buns than meat. The Big Mac seems two thirds bun.
  • I saw a sign at McDonald’s that read, “Career Opportunities Inside.” I think that is an oxymoron.
  • The soul of a trip is in the sole of your shoes.
  • The more I schedule myself in a calendar, the less I know what day it is.
  • If you live in a schedule, all you see is what you are running late to.
  • I see no difference between a ticket scalper and a ticket broker.
  • For some jobs you are said to have too much experience, but for others not enough. I guess there is a Goldilocks effect on experience.
  • A pair of headphones is not supposed to be a boombox. Why have headphones if you gonna blast them so that others can hear cubicles away.

I frequently tweet and update my social status. If you like to follow or befriend me, feel free to hit me up on twitter, identi.ca, and/or FriendFeed.

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