- You have to put the cupcakes in the front seat like a person.
- You take more coffee breaks than Juan Valdez.
- There might not be dumb questions, but there are sure lazy ass questions.
- An idea that makes money, even if it doesn’t make any sense, will be considered a great idea. An idea is only dumb when it loses money.
- Some pop pills, I pop bottles.
- There are playas, hatas, and fakas.
- The sketch book I use most often, believe it or not, is post-it notepad.
- Don’t under estimate the value of a penny.
- It’s been raining all day, first cats, then dogs, now porcupines.
- I am drinking blueberry herbal tea. It must have more food coloring than herbs because after dipping it in hot water my tea turned purple.
- I got to many MySpace MySpies.
- Gotta learn so that you can earn.
- For some reason Taco Bell food tastes better, almost good, to me when I am sick.
- I’m in the seventh circle of LOLhell.
- Having lunch, eating free samples at Costco.
- 90% of facts on the internet are not checked!
- I think “Just nerd it up” is my new motto, a cross between “step it up” and “just do it.”
- The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything is not 42, that was a buffer overflow error, the answer is 420.
- It is hard for me be mean, but I work at it.
- Life has an equivalent of undo (ctrl+z), it is called sorry.
- At the dollar store, nothing is priced one dollar, they blame the price increase on the rising oil prices.
- At the dollar store where nothing is a dollar anymore, spoke with management, they want to rename it to the euro store.
- I found $10, i’m going on a dollar store shopping spree.
- The news is just another form of entertainment.
- Watching network news, first time in years. I thought I was watching news reruns. Apperantly they still don’t have peace in the middle east.
- If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, then a spray paint can is mightier than the pen and sword to the graffiti artist.
- Publishers need to think outside the content.
- It seems that some books sole purpose is to kill trees and confuse men, this is one fat physics book…
- All rap suffers from the same affliction of ghetto fabulous.
- Pound for pound McDonald’s must sell more buns than meat. The Big Mac seems two thirds bun.
- I saw a sign at McDonald’s that read, “Career Opportunities Inside.” I think that is an oxymoron.
- The soul of a trip is in the sole of your shoes.
- The more I schedule myself in a calendar, the less I know what day it is.
- If you live in a schedule, all you see is what you are running late to.
- I see no difference between a ticket scalper and a ticket broker.
- For some jobs you are said to have too much experience, but for others not enough. I guess there is a Goldilocks effect on experience.
- A pair of headphones is not supposed to be a boombox. Why have headphones if you gonna blast them so that others can hear cubicles away.
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